Brutally Honest Reviews™

The Godlings: Sol

Word Count: 1688

Title: The Godlings: Sol

Genre: Fantasy

Blurb: Fourteen gods and goddesses look over the universe. Highly worshipped and praised, the gods live in Iaomia, the layer above the universe where no mortal has ever been. After many fights and conflicts, two of the gods go rogue and seek revenge on the others. To help protect themselves and the citizens of the universe, the remaining twelve send their essence to a human. These godlings band together to try to stop the evil gods from destroying everything.

Louis and Lucilla Dubois are godlings of the sun god, Sol. They discover their powers and, with a little help from Sol, set out on a journey to find the other godlings with hope of restoring the universe to its natural peace.

Status: Ongoing

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Starting Points: 30

Cover: Um....This is a minimalistic cover, and they never really make a good or bad impression on me. Well, aside from some. Anyway, I think this is a bit of a letdown since this is a fantasy book, and you can definitely find a cover maker that does it justice. Particularly, ones that are good with fantasy book covers. This doesn't go at all in my opinion. I do like how bright the color is? But then the summary doesn't go with it as well. Seriously, find a better suiting cover, it isn't ugly, but it doesn't fit. (-3)

Title: I like it. It's very unique and stands on its own. No points off here.

Summary: Okay, your story sounds very intriguing and I want to read on. But (there is always a but), you kind of spilled too much. How the summary is summarizing the plot and whatnot, it leaves me to believe that you're going to drop us where the summary leaves off. There really isn't a hook that grips the reader, and you kind of told too much. You should have stopped talking at the bit of the two people who were chosen to have the god essence in them, and then hook the reader with a pretty vague (but not too vague) description on their coming journey/the conflict they will have to stop. Yadda yadda yadda, but alas, that didn't happen. Fix this when you revise for yourself and everyone else please. (-5)

Plot: Two Gods rebelled against their family to go destroy Earth (like a lot of pantheons did) and some dweebs got injected with god juice to go whoop some god ass!

*Hayden Panetierre's voice*

"Bring it on!"

Opening thoughts:

-God, my nerd side (makes up eight-five percent of my being) is tingling with all this made up and Greek/Roman mythology teas going on. I love glossaries like this that some Fantasy writers (most do esp. if the content is entirely made up from their imagination). I have a huge grin while reading this, so hooray!

-One problem with this is that you're missing periods after these definitions. Don't forget your punctuations. (-3)

-Another problem is that, in the region portion you seem to have forgotten to add what all of these places are known for. What lives there? What other important information should we know about them? Do they have different dialects? Knowing their specific cardinal points isn't sufficient for the reader. You gave no information in that area, and you're leaving your readers in the dark when this is supposed to be an informative/convenient chapter. (-3)

-Okay, I'm now on the official first chapter and I already see an error. Do not ever use bold in writing. I made that same mistake as well, and it does nothing for your writing. It only makes you look like an amateur. Everywhere that you made bold in this chapter/book, change it to italics. Italics are life-savers. (-3)