An Illness ~ A GasterBlaster Sans Story

Act 15: It Has To Be This Way

WARNING: Shit hits the fan. Really badly.

(Sans Pov)

It has been sometime since the fateful incident with Undyne. Everyone is forgiven, and everything was explained.

Papyrus continually checks me over, worried to find any signs of my change. Nothing of that sort has occurred, though I don't think he'll ever stop worrying.

We had all agreed to wait it out. Patience for another unexpected transformation, to test Alphys's theory. She theorizes that the only reason I lost control, was due to my laziness, to some extent.

Since I'm lazy, or I easily give up/don't try at all, the corrupted magic was easily able to overpower me. So, laziness can be a curse. Papyrus is always right, isn't he?

Alphys also suggested that if I want to prolong the inevitable change, I could avoid using magic. Well, my arcane magic at least. No more blaster, or shortcuts for me, I feel so restricted, and it's unbearably uncomfortable.

She also said using the other forms of my powers, in a sort of training exercise, occasionally will also help. Papyrus lit up with excitement at that thought. He just couldn't wait to start sparring with me.

I wish his enthusiasm was contagious.

I honestly feel quite the opposite. I want to be able to freely use all my abilities, whenever I want, but I also despise changing like that. Life involves so many sacrifices, doesn't it?

Undyne and Papyrus are always wanting me to talk about everything. I would rather keep to myself. Papyrus continuously gets worried by this behavior of mine, regardless of what I tell him.

I constantly seek isolation, causing Papyrus to fear over my depression. I just want to stay by myself.

Nightmares still fog my skull. I barely get any real sleep. It is starting to get unbearable. I try so hard, but my insomnia knows no bounds. I'm barely able to function properly anymore.

I have started becoming more occupied with chores.

I began listening to Papyrus's constant nagging. I no longer discard my socks around the house, I clean my room regularly, and I have began learning to cook. Advice from Papyrus, Undyne, and Grillby have all really helped.

Something that has really stunned Papyrus, I hardly ever tell puns anymore.

I don't see the point anymore. They weren't really making anyone happy, anyways the annoyed the hell out of Papyrus. I can't really find anything funny about my life anymore. I feel constantly restricted, watched, and judged.

Undyne, Alphys, Papyrus, and I have all agreed to keep my condition a secret, as to not alarm anyone, and protect what little confidence I have left.

The only thing I wait for is the Human's arrival. Heh. That's likely to be fun.

Welp, it's over now, isn't it? My life is now on a constant routine, I don't care about the future, heck I don't even care if I get dusted or not. Life is an endless cycle, full of pain.

What's the point? We're born, we live, we die. So what's the purpose?

Reproducing? Inventing? Helping? Changing?

What?

Well I guess this is the end for now. Nothing new is going to happen. Nothing different.

We'll get saved, some of us killed, or all of us killed.

What's the point in all this?

Why did you come to read my story? Do you like it? Reading about my pain, my depression, my experiences, and my recovery?

Man, you all are just so nosey aren't you.

Well I hope learning about me, Sans the skeleton, and my illness is just amusing.

Because it's over now.

Seriously, I'm going to end it.

As if something...new were to happen.

You'd enjoy that wouldn't you. If this all continued.

Heh. I know about your lack of integrity.

I know about the game you think you control.

Heh heh heh.

"you dirty messy hacker i can't wait to see you burn in hell."

~♡~

All of that, despite the last statement, was in his head. He was having a conversation with himself. No wonder he wanted to end it. After all, he's been so, so tired.

"..."

Sans takes a moment to stare at the bottle in front of him. Shaking the liquid inside, he dropped a circle shaped object inside, it dissolved quickly.

"like i said...i can't wait..."

Grabbing a picture from his pocket, along with a note addressed to Papyrus, Sans holds back his tears as he chugs the whole concoction...down.

The drug almost instantly took affect, blurring his vision, and burning his soul.

"...h-heh...heh heh..."

The tiny monster was engulfed by a coughing fit, blood-like liquid dribbled from his chin and splattered the floor.

Then it stopped.

For one split second everything stopped. Sensing the pause Sans sent every once of concentration left, through his soul and into Papyrus'.

All the happy moments they had together; Christmas, birthdays, training days. Evey secret told, every promise kept.

~♡~

"SANS?"

"yes papyrus...?"

"PROMISE WE'LL SEE THE STARS TOGETHER?"

"..."

"heh...i promise..."

~♡~

Unfortunately, when the dust hit the floor, that promise wasn't kept.

...

...

...

...sorry...

...there's nothing here...

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