Love, Music, And Cancer | OHSHC

LMAC | Chapter Eighteen

---Chapter Eighteen; My Mistake---

I は、すべて実際にあなたを欠場、私はあなたを逃すと思います. 。

(I think I miss you, I miss you all actually. . . )

You know that moment when you do something, something that changes your life drastically or even an inch, and you wonder if you made the right decision after all?

I've been feeling that way oddly, actually I've been feeling like this ever since I spoke to Tamaki about the Host Club. My world, it's slowly crashing down and being destroyed everyday and it's not even because of my condition anymore. It's because of something else. Something else that I'm trying to ignore. Something else that is important to me. Something else that I'm trying to push in the back of my head.

My eyebrows furrowed in aggravation, my fingers drumming quietly against the wooden library table. Usually I was always focused on reading in English class, and it was always my favorite day when we went to the library (the size of what seemed like a mansion) for the period. Yet, I couldn't even focus on the book I was currently reading or the neatly printed words that laid perfectly together on clean pages. All I could think about was that annoying club; the host club. The annoying blonde was stuck in my head too.

The past few days have been slow, corrupting, and at the vey least, boring. "Boring.." I muttered quietly, the word running off my tongue oddly for some reason. I frowned and closed my book, giving up on trying to concentrate and read or even enjoy reading at the moment. I instead sighed and stood up from my seat though making sure not to make too much noise. I went to the shelves that were adorned with books and the smell of books (yes, that's a thing) at the same time to try and clear my mind out.

To try and get them out of my head. Him out of my head.

I ran my fingers along the smooth book spines, admiring the colorful novels that filled up the large space. The rough books left a tingle on my fingertips and I shortly smiled for a moment, that is, before I spotted a familiar blonde-haired male reading a book on the far corner. I widened my eyes, my hand suddenly dropping to my side and I felt the strongest urge to talk to him. Speak to him. Say something, anything to him. To the annoying Tamaki.

I suddenly forgot about what I said a few days ago. I forgot about deciding to end our ties and I forgot about abandoning the club. The only thing that was on my mind was exchanging words desperately with Tamaki, and I couldn't help myself. Before I knew it, I was already standing behind the tall male and I had already tapped his shoulder once or twice. I don't recall me ever walking faster in my life.

Tamaki quickly turned around, but, then I realized it wasn't Tamaki. In fact, it was some random student that I had no idea who he was. I hardly recognized him. A sudden wash of disappointment hit me hard in the stomach as I lowered my eyelids and deepened my frown. "Sorry, wrong person." I mumbled, not even meeting the males face for a second before turning around and heading deeper into the library.

It then hit me; I miss the host club..and I can't deny it anymore.

♪♫♪

"Como foi o seu dia?" my mother asked, her voice carrying a higher pitch then usual. I grimaced, her voice didn't really reach me but it did at the same time as I started immediately to the stairs. "It was..fine." I said nonchantly, swallowing a lump down my throat and continuing up the stairs. I didn't even bother asking where dad was, because I already knew. I immediately entered my room, closed my door, and threw my bag on the bed.

I sighed loudly with irritation, collapsing on my back on the bed, closing my eyes for a second. I let a second or so pass by, just relaxing and ignoring reality for a second. I perked an eye open at the sound knocking on my door, licking my lips. "I don't need you Claire." I yelled, assuming she was coming in to greet me while her ponytail swung. "It's your mom Haruka." a gentle voice said, obviously being my moms.

"Come in." I said, sitting up and pushing my hair back. I heard the click of the door and it soon opened up, revealing my mother's short figure. She smiled warmly which I tried my best to send back. "What's wrong?" she asked, cocking her head to the side. "Nothing." I replied instantly. She pursed her cherry red lips. "You were always such a horrible liar." she chuckled, walking inside and taking a seat beside me. "I got a call from the school today." she said and I widened my eyes.

Did I do something?

I must've blurted the words out because she laughed again and shook her head from side to side. "No. Unless there's something you want to tell me." she said, giving me a sort of mother look. I shook my head in denial. "Well, head of the school called and told me about how his son enjoyed you very much." his son? "And I suppose he was just wondering if you were alright considering he hasn't seen his son with you in a while, what was his name again? Tamaki Suoh." she said slyly, watching me closely when I stiffened at the name.

I didn't know Tamaki's father was the head of the school. How the frickity frack did I not know that? Am I that slow?

"I see you know him." she said but I didn't answer. In fact, I didn't say a word. I didn't know what to say. "Also, I got a call from Tamaki himself. He was checking up on you." she said and looked at me again. "Who is he?" she asked curiously, smirking. I sighed. "Tamaki Suoh, he's the boy I played a duet with at the competition." I informed. She snapped her fingers. "I knew the name rung a bell!" she sparked.

"So, tell me it. Come on. I've been so busy that we haven't had a mother and daughter talk in ages. Not ever since....since your condition." she said gently, touching my shoulder. I didn't hesitate to tell her everything. I told her all that's been going on, what I've been feeling, and how I was confused as hell..not knowing what to do.

"Well, I personally think you should go back to the club. You know? I think you were actually more happier when you were with them."

"You think so?"

"Trust me, I know so. Haruka, your time is slowly coming to an end. You need to start making the most of it."

". . . . . . . . . . . . .I know."