Love, Music, And Cancer | OHSHC

LMAC | Chapter Seventeen

---Chapter Seventeen; I Don't Want To Deal With You--

うそをつきました。。。

(I lied. . . )

"Haruka-Chan, what are you doing?"

The voice caused me to look up from my late homework, licking my lips when my eyes were met and captivated with Haruhi's doe orbs. It usually wasn't like me to not do my homework, but lately my mind has been drifting off from here to there. It's been affecting my schoolwork too, although, my mother nor father have noticed. Maybe it's because my mother is always busy with work and my doctor appointments, and my father is too bust screwing his secretary. I felt my insides turn at the last thought.

"Oh, I just forgot to do my homework. . . it. . . slipped my mind." I came up with a good excuse, though what I saw really wasn't the best excuse to say. Haruhi's eyes only brightened as she laughed. I smirked at her giggles, glancing around though finding no sight of the people my eyes searched for. "Haruhi, where are Hikari and Karou?" I asked curiously. She scratched the back of her neck. "They went to the bathroom. They've been in there for quite some time but my bet is that they saw some girls along the hallway and decided to swoon with them." she shrugged her shoulders and I could tell she wasn't giving it much thought. It's not my problem anyways, at least, not anymore.

I started to continue back on the rather mind straining math homework before a compliment rang through my ears. "Your performance with Tamaki. . . that was amazing." she said hastily. I felt my body stiffen but I didn't know why. I didn't hesitate to stop the large stupid grin sprout on my face that seemed to brighten the whole world as others have told me. "Thank you. . ." I replied. Haruhi blushed shyly, a goofy grin growing on her lips as well. "R-R-Right, anyways I did have a reason for talking to you. . ." she quickly changed the subject yet a part of me tells me that she wanted to hide the fact that she was blushing. . .

I nodded at her while my eyes stayed glued on the paper before me. "Tamaki was thinking about having the Host Club do a butler theme. Not a cliché one, but, just something like everyone dressing up as butler as us, the males, tending to their needs like we usually do. Okay, maybe that is a little clichés. . .b-but you won't have to dress up as a butler! Considering you're a girl he thought about you d-"

I raised my hand up to stop Haruhi's speaking, one of my eyebrows arched up in a questionable way. "Didn't Tamaki tell you guys already?" I asked, frowning deeply. "About. . . how after the competition I would be disbanding the club?" I noticed how a glint of anger and disappointment flashed in her orbs for a second. ". . . . yes. But. . . I thought. . . I didn't think. . . you would actually. . . leave." she mumbled lowly, looking at me with a small amount of disbelief.

Think again. . .

♛♕♛

It didn't occur to me until now how slow the day progresses. It also didn't occur to me until now it that the day is progressing so slow because. . . I didn't go to the Host Club. In fact, today was different then the days with the Host Club. Instead of hearing laughter and ridiculous corny pick-up lines for an hour I was embraced with music and classic tunes instead. I even found myself conflicted on what I would prefer over the other. But when it comes to music, it usually always wins. Yet this time, I let my thoughts go to waste, not being able to chose on either of them.

I hummed a silent tune to myself, walking down the Academy's concrete steps outside as I departed from school. Unfortunately, Mr. Robert is ill and I don't have a driver for a few days. Naturally, another servant would take over but, I refuse to let anyone drive me except for Mr. Robert. I've realized that I can't stand anyone driving me other then him. I wonder how I'll survive when I'm driving myself once I grow up. . . or. . . hah. . . I almost forgot. . . that's never going to happen. Silly me, wishful thinking again. . .

"Haruka-Chan. . ."

I halted, quickly detecting who the owner of that voice was. I swallowed a lump down my throat and for some odd reason, my hands that held my book bag became clammy and  my head started to mush my thoughts together until I didn't even understand what I was thinking. "T-Tamaki. . . " I mumbled, turning around to face the beautiful blonde, the bright sun beating against his skin violently. "What are you doing here? The Host Club should've. . . already ended. You and everyone else should already have been home by now." I commented, remembering what the time was before leaving the school building.

Tamaki smiled shortly. "I wanted to see you before I left. I. . . haven't seen you all day." his cheeks turned red when he spoke. I ignored the butterflies in my stomach and gave him a nonchalant look. "So, are you trying to walk me home or something?" I asked, causing him to perk up. "Eh? U-Um yeah. Y-Yeah! I'll walk you home!" he said happily, his eyes dancing. Idiot. . .I sighed and continued walking, Tamaki chirpily doing the same with a hop in every step. I giggled at his childish ways and I think that only encouraged him to continue with it.

A string of silence hung in the air for some time and I could feel myself starting to feel awkward. I became desperate for the silence to be broken and to my relief, Tamaki must've been thinking the same because he suddenly spoke up. "Haruhi told me about. . . what you told her." he said, pressing his lips together. They must be soft. . . "Did she?" was all I said, I didn't know what else to say. His throat seemed to thicken while our steps continuously kept the silence occupied.

"Are you really. . . leaving?" he asked, seeming to not believe it. I didn't understand why everyone was so upset about this. I told them beforehand, and yet, they all act as if I never mentioned it before. As if, they truly didn't believe I'd carry out the deal. I lazily frowned. "That's what the deal required." I stated, rolling my eyes mentally. Tamaki grunted. "But you don't have to carry it out. . . you can stay." he said and I could hear a bit of force in his voice. He either seemed to be getting impatient or determined.

"But I don't want to stay." I snapped, clenching my jaw and staying in my place, causing Tamaki to walk in front of me though he stopped when he realized I wasn't walking with him. Irritation seemingly brewed in my head as I gritted my teeth. He turned around to look at me and placed a frown on his face. "Why?" he questioned and I furrowed my eyebrows. I ignored his question and continued walking, though, I suddenly halted when he gripped my arm tightly. I winced at the slight pain.

"Why?" he repeated his question with more force. I pulled my arm away from his grasp and glared at him. "Because like I said before, the club is nothing but a place to swoon women when they don't even like them! It's fake. . . " I muttered lowly. Tamaki seemed to be staring right into my soul, and his natural bright blue eyes seemed to have lost the glint they desired. "Is that so. . . " he said gently, sighing in defeat. What have I done? I looked away from him and brought my schoolbag closer to my side. "Tamaki, thank you for being my accompanist. . . but. . . I'm done with the Host Club now. That's what we se--"

"I know." he cut me off.

I don't want anything to do with the Host Club.

"You don't have to walk me any farther, I can make it there by myself." I said and he nodded dryly.

I don't want to associate with them anymore.

"Also, let's cut ties."

So, why do I feel so hollow inside about this?