Writing On The Wall - Text Fic (Camren)

June 26 (Part 1)

"You're absolutely sure?" Lauren asked, running both hands through Camila hair, pushing it back so she could get a good look at Camila's eyes.

Camila sighed and nodded and Lauren pursed her lips, the two of them entering into an unspoken staring contest, but Camila was the first to break when she saw tears forming on Lauren's waterline. "Hey," Camila whispered, reaching up and wiping the skin under Lauren's eyes with the pads of her thumb. "What's wrong?"

"Your eyes were so empty yesterday," Lauren swallowed. "I thought you jumped Camz, I looked up and you were gone and I thought, I thought you-"

"I'm right here," Camila said pushing herself against the counter and between Lauren's legs.  "I'm sorry you had to see any of that, I am so sorry that I put you through that, that I made you think I was gonna jump or had jumped, I didn't know what was happening, I wasn't me and-"

"I know."

"You brought me back," Camila smiled, tilting her head to get Lauren to look at her, her head having dropped when Camila was talking. "You did that for me, you know? I thought... Your voice, your words. You. You brought me back."

"What if I hadn't been there?" Lauren whispered, a mixed lace of anger and hurt wrapping around her words.

"But you were and that's all that-"

"It's not all that matters," Lauren said pushing Camila back just enough to allow herself to hop down off of the counter. "Camz, you scared the fucking hell out of me yesterday and I know it wasn't you, I know that it was a side effect of the medication, but what if it happens again with the new medication and I'm not there to help you."

Camila pursed her lips and grabbed her phone from her pocket, putting it on speaker as she dialled Dr. Murray's number, Lauren watching her curiously.

"Dr. Murray speaking," an older woman's voice came through the speaker and Camila sighed.

"Hi, it's Camila," she said quickly. "That thing we talked about this morning, can we do it? But like, maybe not right now, I just need to take a week, July second would work best for me if that's possible."

There was shuffling of papers on the other end and then the sound of fingers typing on a keyboard, a small silence and then Dr. Murray's voice, "The second is fine, it will be two weeks, are you sure you want to do this? Once the decision is made you can't go back, you'll have to follow through."

"Will I be able to get a day pass at some point?" Camila asked, causing Dr. Murray to let out a breath of hard air into the phone.

"I can't promise anything, but it is a possibility, yes."

"A possibility is all I need," Camila said looking up at Lauren, who's face showed immense confusion. "I'm going camping this weekend, I already told you that this morning, but I will come in and see you on Monday and we can talk more about this, if that's okay?"

"It is," Dr. Murray replied. "I will put through the request today if this is something you want," she said seriously.

"I want it, I need to do this," Camila said taking a deep breath and closing her eyes.

You could almost feel the smile in Dr. Murray's face through the phone when she spoke, telling Camila that she was proud of her and that she would see her on Monday. Camila thanked the woman and hung up the phone after a quick goodbye and then moved to place her phone on the counter behind Lauren.

"What was that about?" Lauren asked, turning to face Camila. "What's gonna be two weeks, Camila what's going on?"

"I'm checking into a mental health facility for two weeks," Camila said, running a nervous hand through her hair, watching Lauren's eyes widened. "The only way I can make sure I'm safe, the only way I can make sure nothing like that happens again is to go there so I can be monitored twenty-four hours a day while they figure out my medications and do the adjustments. They can help if I have side effects and they will be there if I spiral out again, they have therapy sessions and coping workshops and Doctors that can help me while my body and my head adjust to the medication."