Shadows

22. Friends?

I stand face-to-face with Aiden, my throat clogged with cotton, "you're unbelievable."

"Unbelievable?" He laughs hysterically, "then what do you call your relationship with those four?"

"They're my friends." My nails dig into my palms.

"Friends?" Aiden spits, I interrupt him before he continues, my voice rising with every word.

"Yes, friends, Aiden, not people who just-" my face convolutes and my voice breaks, "abandon me."

He takes a step back, face full of shook. While memories start to flood my head, as though someone pulled a cap off the back of my head, letting its all contents gush out in that split second.

    "Little girl!"my father calls out, laughing hysterically. The little hairs on the back of my head stand up, I put my arms around my small figure in fear, as though that will help.
          I don't know where my mom is, I hear a glass bottle shatter form upstairs. I'm standing in front of the door of my house. I don't know where to go, I don't know where to go. My legs feel numb and are pulsating simultaneously with fear.
            'Cmon Aiden, please'  I mouthed at the window next to the door, my hands on it, trying to reach for him. He was on the other side, him and his family left after the family visit. The drinks come out, and didn't go back.
         "Little girlll!" A much louder crash now, he knocked something over. He was coming closer.
       'Please, please!" I mouthed with increasing urgency. It was so easy. He just needed to call his parents back. Tell them he forgot his jacket, car toy, anything. But he just stared at me through the glass, and turned away.
       "Little girl?" My blood turned cold.
      
         He knew exactly what had happened when I came into school the next day. He knew exactly why I wore long sleeves in the middle of summer. He knew exactly every lie, every wince. He knew I needed him, because I felt suffocated by the secret I was keeping, the one only he knew. He knew all of this every morning that I heaved myself to school with sad, helpless eyes. They would occasionally catch his own. And he stared at me and turned away.

"Get a hold of yourself." He snaps at me, recovering from the state of shock he was in.

I start to shake, struggling to hold back hot tears, "get out."

"What?"

"Tell me. Why are you here?" Scorn decorates my face, tears down rolling down my cheeks, "more errands to run for your parents? Well tell them I'm all fine because my knight in shining armor brother takes only the best care of me. And you know what, you don't ever have to worry about me. Because you never made a difference. " Something flickers across his eyes at that, and I continue between breaths, "I'm fine- all on my own. You can tell them you did all that they said and I'll confirm, but I don't want to see you. Not here, not ever."

He stared at me for a while, lips pursed together. I don't even reach up to wipe my face. We hear a thud on the door, and a bunch of hurried whispers.

"Move-"

"I'll konck."

"No I'll knock-"

"Very well then." He says, and turns to leave. He goes for the door, I follow him even though my legs feel like cooked noddles.

He pulls the door open, to reveal Spencer, Lance, and Axel with their ears on what is now the ghost of a door. No one moves back, they look as though they are frozen in time.

"I think they caught us." Spencer whispers to the two. They all turn to look up at the door with sheepish smiles, that turn into growls when they realize it's Aiden. He strides right past them without saying a word.

I quickly close the door behind him. They can't see me like this, I thought to myself. I can't even bring myself to scold them for overheating, Xander would do it anyway, I just wanted to be alone.

  "Elodie?" Spencer's voice pipes up from behind the door, "you closed the door on the wrong people." I can hear him pout.

I wanted to reply, but I wasn't confident I could keep an even tone. I slide down to the floor, my back against the door. I was turning numb all over. The cold marble floor suddenly felt like ice beneath my feet, the cold traveling up my body in ripples.

Then come four knocks, I know it's lance. It's a familiar series of knocks.

"Oh! Oh I know this!" Axel pushes Spencer, who lets out a grunt, he clears his throat, "do you want to build a snowman?" He doesn't even say it in a sing song voice, it was an outright question. When I don't answer he knocks on the door normally, three fast knocks after each other, "hello? Elodie? Do you want to build a snow man or no?"

Xander says something, but I've tuned the guys out. I just stare into my hands. Friends. Friends. Friends that you let in to your life after month and a few weeks of knowing them. Friends that are perfect. Too perfect.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts by the chime of my phone. It's Lance. Everyone behind the door goes silent.

"Do we come later?"

No - I reply, not wanting them to go through the hassle of leaving and coming back, just for me.

"Are you okay?"

Yes
It's just lady stuff. I couldn't find anything else to say, they'll piece it together.

I let out a sigh of relief when I hear footsteps down the stairs.

A paper slips from under the door next to me.

"Spencer!" I hear Xander calling from far away. Then hurried footsteps down the stairs. I pick the paper up just as I hear the doors of a car shutting, and the car speeding away.

I roll my eyes. There are five stick figures drawn in the middle of the paper, and a sun on the corner- like the ones we used to draw in middle school. The stick figures are all holding hands, wearing the same smiley face, one with a strand of hair at each side- who I assume is me. There is a small attempt at drawing what I think is a Ferris wheel in the background. And a message scribbled along with some hearts above the stick figures.

If you change your mind call Spencer!!!

I can't help but crack a small smile.

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A/N
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