Wait For It (Sequel to Challenge Accepted)

Chapter Eight: I Hate New Jersey

"So guys, I have an important announcement." Robin told us.

"Oh, we do too." I said.

"We?" Lily pointed out. I rolled my eyes, urging Robin to go ahead.

"I got the National Anchor job." She said excitedly.

"Oh my gosh!"

"Congratulations!"

"That's amazing!" We all cooed.

"Thanks guys. I'm so excited. What about you guys, what's your announcement?"

"Isn't it obvious!?" Lily asked. "Look at them! They're sitting so close together. Please tell me that Lauren and Barney are back together."

"Yeah. Yeah, we are." Barney told them. They cheered again and Wendy, having heard all the good news brought us a free bottle of Champaign to celebrate. Ted came in, sitting down beside Robin at the end of the table.

"Hey!"

"Theodore!"

"Hey, T-diddy!" I gave Barney a weird look. "You missed it!"

"Robin got that National anchor job." Lily told him.

"And Lauren and Barney are back together." Marshall threw in.

"And we got a free bottle of Champaign." Robin added. 

"Oh, but it's empty now."

"Wah,wah."

"Oh, man."

~~~

We sat in McLaren's two nights later, Ted on the end, me next to Lily, and Marshall and Barney across from us.

"You want us to go to New Jersey, that's rich." Marshall told him. Ted had just asked us to go hang out with Stella.

"Why?" Ted asked.

"Well, for starters, I don't have any of my gold Medallions anymore. I sold them when they went out of style four hundred years ago." We chuckled.

"Lily?" Ted asked.

"Sorry, Ted. I'm a born and raised New Yorker. I'm programmed to despise and loathe New Jersey and all that it stands for. Why am I telling you this? You hate new Jersey more than anyone."

"What? I don't hate New Jersey. Why would you think that?"

"Hm...could it be that you own a t-shirt that literally says 'I hate New Jersey'?" I asked.

"Or maybe that you refer to deuces as New Jersey's." Barney through in.

"Or the fact that you've said it a thousand times." We said together.

"I don't like them back together." Ted mumbled. Barney held up a hand and we high fived. "So, New Jersey's not my favorite place, but once Stella and I get married and she and Lucy move in with me, I'll never set foot in New Jersey again. Unless I'm going to see a Giants game or flying out of Newark...or, God forbid, disposing of a body."

"Ted, if you murder me and bury me in New Jersey, I'll haunt you forever." Lily warned him.

"What if I murder you and bury you somewhere else?"

"Eh. I'll leave you alone. I'm sure you had your reasons." I chuckled.

"What reasons would Ted have for killing Lily?" I asked.

"Hmm...She messed up his hair?" Marshall suggested.

"Nah, I've done that and I'm still here." Barney pointed out. "Maybe she insulted the empire state building."

"No, no, I've got it. She sold his red cowboy boots." I said finally.

"Pulling. Them. Off." I rolled my eyes. "Oh, hey, Robin is on." We all walked up to the bar. "Turn it up, Carlos."

"Tonight will be my last broadcast. I came to Metro News 1 as a little caterpillar, and for four years, this desk has been my cocoon. But tonight, I emerge an ambitious butterfly."

"Why does she sound like an idiot? Did she have a stroke?" Marshall asked.

"Yeah. A stroke of genius. This speech is really good."

"With one eye on the horizon, one eye on the truth, and one eye on all of you."

"That doesn't even make sense." I muttered to Barney. He laughed, wrapping an arm around my waist.

 "You wrote it for her, didn't you?" Lily asked Ted.

"It's a modified version of the speech I gave when I had to leave the swim team because of a chronic inner ear situation."

"I thought you were the towel boy." Marshall told him.

It's part of the team."

~~~

We all got on the train to New Jersey, aside from Robin, who was starting her job tonight. Barney dragged me a little ways away from the others, pulling me into the seat next to him.

"I hate trains." I told him. "They're so sketchy. Just as sketchy as the subway, in my opinion."

"That homeless guy's asleep...or dead...I think you'll be ok." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Shut up. Butthead."

"You're really uncomfortable with this, aren't you?" He questioned. I sunk lower in my seat. He grabbed my wrist, pulling me into his lap. Barney isn't the manliest of men, but weirdly enough, I felt safe with him. Just like back at the St. Patrick's Day party. "You're a big wimp, you know that?"

"Shut up!" I shoved him, crawling backinto my seat. He was laughing.

"I' sorry! I'm sorry. It's just funny-I'm sorry, I swear." I punched his shoulder."Ow!"

"Jerk."

~~~

"Ok, Stell couldn't find a sitter, so we can't go out, but Instead, we're all gonna hang out here, and it's gonna be just as awesome." Tedtoldus.I was crammed between Barney and Lily on Stella's couch.

"Right? We got board games, we got movies, and I think there may be some beer out in the garage." She left.

"Yay. Garage beer. My favorite." I said dryly.

"Ted, this is pathetic. It's Saturday night. We should be out at a bar drinking alcohol. Now I know that that sounds depressing, bordering on tragic, but it's just a fact." Marshall ranted, smacking Ted's arm.

"We were planning on anihalating some twelve year olds in laser tag."

"Yeah we were." We fist bumped.

"Ok, guys. Come on, you promised. Let's just hang out here, try to have fun. I mean, we're all together. Friends hangin' out, isn't that what really matters?" We all looked around at each other.

"Ok, if we take the next train, we can be at MacLaren's by eleven. "

"We can be there by ten." Barney corrected her.

"No, I have to change first. I am not walking into MacLaren's smelling like New Jersey." We all laughed, turning around to see Stella.

"Wow. You guys really hate it here, huh?"  Barney nodded and I slapped him upside the head.

"What? No, Stels." Marshall said awkwardly.

"No. No, I get it. I mean, you guys are all New Yorkers. You need to go hang out at a bar. Well, you could just hang out at the coolest bar in the state, which is so close it will blow your mind."

"Whynot?Let's see it then." I said.