Love Me at a Distance

"She would have loved you, you know?"

Lauren had been having a really rough day. It was nearing 10pm on Friday when she finally was making her way from her brother's apartment in to Camila's. She knew that Camila would be asking a million questions when she got there because she was late, and she didn't know if she would be able to deal with it.

It was unusual for Lauren to be late, but today was an off day. It was the anniversary of her mother's death. She parked her car outside of Camila's apartment. She walked up the stairs and just stood outside of the door for a minute, trying to gather her emotions and thoughts. She took a deep breath before unlocking the door and going inside. She didn't say anything to her girlfriend. She just took off her shoes and jacket and walked into the living room, sitting down on the couch.

Camila was in the sectioned off art area when she head Lauren walk in. She turned around and frowned. "Hey. You were supposed to be here hours ago. Everything okay?"

Lauren watched as Camila turned to look at her. She tried to pretend that everything was okay...but she knew the look on her face would give it away. "Yeah. I'm fine. I just got caught up with school stuff." Lauren lied. She knew she shouldn't be lying to Camila, but she wasn't ready to talk about it. Especially not today.

The artist put her stuff down and washed her hands before walking into the living room. She saw the look on Lauren's face. She was upset about something. "Baby, what's wrong?" She sat down and placed a hand on her girlfriend's thigh, rubbing the area gently.

Lauren sat still as Camila plopped down next to her. She was holding back tears as Camila rested her hand on her thigh. "Nothing is wrong. I just had a busy day." Lauren said nonchalantly, trying to keep her tears at bay. She knew that Camila wouldn't believe her, but she hoped that the woman would let it go.

Camila shook her head. "Babe... You don't have classes this late. What's really going on?" The look on Lauren's face was giving almost everything away. She could tell her girlfriend was near tears, but she had no idea why. The younger woman sat back and wrapped an arm around Lauren, pulling them both back on the couch so they'd be more comfortable. "You shouldn't lie to me, Laur... You know that you can tell me anything."

Lauren sighed. She could tell that Camila wasn't going to let this go until she told her the truth. Lauren took a few deep breaths, trying to will the tears away. She hated crying. She didn't like when anyone saw her crying. Especially about this. And Camila...Camila had never really seen Lauren cry about something so serious. There was maybe one time that she could think of. She hated being weak. Lauren cuddled into Camila as her girlfriend put an arm around her. As soon as she rested her head on Camila's shoulder the tears started to fall. She couldn't hold it in any longer.

Camila wrapped her other arm around Lauren and held her in closer, and protectively as she started to cry. She was surprised... She had never seen her girlfriend cry. "Shh..." She ran a hand through Lauren's smooth hair. "It's okay, baby. Don't cry... I've got you." She wondered what had happened, but she knew that she had to wait for Lauren to want to tell her. She sighed and closed her eyes as she held the woman as close as she could. "Baby... what's wrong? What happened?" She cooed softly, trying to calm Lauren down.

Lauren gripped on to the front of Camila's paint-stained shirt as she cried. The cries became sobs as she thought more and more about her mother. She could hear Camila's comforting words, but even that wasn't making her feel any better. She missed her mom. She needed her mom. Lauren cried until there were no more tears that could come out. She knew she needed to tell Camila, but it was hard. This was so personal to her. She never told anyone, except Camila's sister, about her mom.