{ #3 } Twisted Moon (MxM || 18+)

Chapter 5 - When You Need Money...

At first, I frightfully thought that it was a baby whining, but when I pulled up the lid, I found a trash bag with something moving inside, above all the other garbage. My heart clenched at the sight of an entire litter of four cocker puppies. Who could be heartless and ignominious enough to get rid of such little cuties? They were all black except for one that had little patches of white. Unfortunately, they were also all dead already, except for that little black and white baby.

He was looking at me with his sad eyes, dizzy and trying to disentangle from his brothers or sisters. I could tell that he had been fed properly until then because he wasn't skinny, but I didn't know how long he had been there and as a baby, he was still quite weak. A little yap later, I had pulled him out of the trash and slipped him between my chest and the layers of clothes I was wearing, his soft hair tickling my skin. He must have been cold and I needed to warm him quickly. Of course, I couldn't let his brothers and sisters in the trash either; they deserved a better cemetery than a dumpster, so I pulled the bag out of there and walked to a park where I buried them between bushes. I did the best I could and it wasn't perfect, but with only my knife, fingers and nails, it wasn't too easy to dig into the hard dirt and it even took me a few days to heal from the scratches.

Anyway, that day I earned eighty dollars and the responsibility over a puppy that I needed to feed and take care of. Jess was probably the best thing that could happen to me in a way. For one, I resolved to always make sure he would be fed properly, so that meant I had to pull my fingers out and get a better move on than what I was used to, to try and get money to sustain the both of us. Then, he has been a great companion and although he sleeps a lot, I feel much less lonely now. I can spend hours cuddling him and when he is awake, I just love playing with him. He often explores the abandoned building and brings back all sorts of treasures, like pieces of metal or fabric that I have to throw so that he can run and get them back. He has also helped my urges to cut myself; a little. The few times it happened, he clearly didn't like it, whining and pushing me in order to lick my injuries.

"You hungry, pup'...?" I ask as he nudges his little nose into my cheek again. "Okay... okay... I'm gonna move and try to get you some food... I'm hungry too actually..." I sigh. I can't help a few tears escaping from my eyes at the thought that I was stupid enough to waste a lot of my precious dollars on a damn small bottle of whiskey after I ran away from that house in Lisle last month; not that it would have changed today's problem because the sixty dollars I stole back then would have been long spent anyway; but stupid because I paid it a high price from an unscrupulous salesman, and since I am not used to drinking, it just made me sick. As a sordid twist of fate, finding money has been quite difficult since then, like it always is, but it feels like it got worse.

For a few seconds, I consider my options. Stealing is out of the question, I am feeling far too tired and weak at the moment for a race; to be honest, this is not something I am comfortable with anyway. Begging is not my kind either; I hate sitting on the cold pavements and wait for hours in the cold for someone to drop a few coins in a hat. Passers-by would certainly be touched by my cute little ball of fur but I don't want to use him to gain pity from people; I don't want to get pity at all actually. It was my decision to flee from my parents' home and even if I didn't have too much of a choice, I have to face the consequences and build myself a future. Every time I begged, I felt like I was asking people to take pity on me and I loathed that feeling. I want to be strong and pull myself through.

Applying for a job is unfortunately an option that I have given up for now; at least until I am able to get new official identification documents without my parents' help; in my hurry to leave their house that night, I forgot to take my ID card and getting a legal job without it is a bit difficult. Then, there is moonlighting and I did it quite a few times back in Detroit, but I certainly don't want to repeat my first and last experience in Chicago; I had found this little undeclared job with some guys who did some renovation in a house, but after two days of hard work, the boss shoed me out without giving me a cent. I naively tried to threaten him but he only had to bark the words you have no evidence so get out to see me scamper away like a coward. I know I should have asked for the cash first but I was just not smart enough; too shy maybe as well. Anyway, this is not an experience I am willing to try again.