Book Reviews ↠ all types

Review 3 ↠ Alive!

Title: Alive!

 Author: @mrslouistomlinson24

Genre: Fanfiction

Rating: 5.0

__________________________________________

Hey Alanah! I think the idea for your book is divine. It is very apparent that you are confident in what you write, which a very important skill. However, execution of your confidence is extremely important and something you have to keep in mind before you publish your book. 

Your cover is very pretty, definitely easy to read, which is important when showing off your jewel. BUT! Where is your name?? Anyone and everyone needs to know who put their time and effort into writing something for others to enjoy! Try adding your name in below the boys’ feet or in the white space between the bottom of the title and their heads or asking who made your cover to. (:

Grammar and punctuation is where we run into some big issues. The Erin 1 and Erin 2 thing is very confusing and doesn’t offer much detail. Even though your plot and sentence structure is very good, it’s a serious struggle for anyone to read your story. You have to break up your sentences into paragraphs to separate DIALOGUE and plot points. Also, if you’ve got a question mark in your dialogue, then the character is asking something, not saying it. By separating out your speaking scenes the reader will be able to figure out the speaking patterns of your characters much more easily.

See below:

⌾ “Again?” Niamh asks.

    “Okay, well just say they’re cows and build a bridge!” Alanah says, making us laugh.

So, what I got out of what you’ve written so far is basically that Louis really likes Alanah but she’s just not feeling it, or maybe she does like him but she’s holding out. They obviously have some serious history. Louis is obviously trying not show his true feelings by being a jerk so Harry steps in, not afraid to share his feelings. I’m not really sure what’s going on with the other characters. /: 

Your plot is very strong but you need to go in and hit your chapters with major editing. I wouldn’t mind going back and reviewing again if you edited or would like me too again in later chapters. Don’t give up on your book! Stay confident and keep writing lovely! x