All I Ask Of You (Sequel to "The Point Of No Return (Draco Malfoy)"

Chapter Six

I hate the autumn. She is all around me. It’s as if she doesn’t feel a thing. She doesn’t work with me. She doesn’t talk to me. She doesn’t even look at me.

            She walks the halls like a ghost. She just floats right by, without even looking up. It’s like I’m not there. She still doesn’t see me. She won’t ever see me.

            I miss my mother. She would talk to me. She would tell me what to do and how to do it right. She would smile at me and tell me that she loves me. She would continue on in her strong, passionate way, the way I knew Natalie to be.

            I miss those long summer days that I spent watching her outside my window. I miss the hours I watched her sit in the dirt. I miss being able to look at her and wonder what she’s thinking without her leaving my view.

            I miss hearing her voice in my mind. I miss her calling my name. She’s gone here. It’s like all I have is the real her, and the person she is now is what I can’t have.

            I miss her friendship. I miss her not hating me. All I want is to be forgiven for what I’ve done. All I want is to be around her. I want to feel her sitting next to me by choice, not by assignment. I want her call my name down the corridors and I want to turn and see her smile. I want to sneak out of bed. I want to meet her late at night. I want to sit at the astronomy tower. I want to get detention. I want to get her into trouble and take all the blame. I want to be with her… all the time.

            I miss summer. I love summer. I want summer. I need summer. It is her. She is summer. She is here and I am here, but in a whole other sense, she’s never going to be here. I want to die. I would rather be dead than have to live without her. I would give anything to have one more chance.