Flowers for you

Hydrangea

I stared at the cup in my hands trying to ignore the gaze of the boy seated across me.

I told him I needed a moment before he ended up following me all the way to Kaye's. The steam from my coffee had lessened- almost unnoticed. I had been staring at it since we came in, not uttering a single word. I knew he wanted to say something but held it back. I knew I was being totally selfish. He just confessed about his sister missing and I was being a diva by not talking to him and asking him to give me a moment.

I berated myself and glanced up to find him looking outside the park. It was almost 7 in the evening. We had both apparently decided not to have dinner today.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I started, softly. As though I was afraid of anything I would say. His eyes lazily move towards me and I hold his gaze as best as I could. I see him hesitate and somehow, I have never seen Jasper look so sad. I felt something twist inside me- guilt? Sympathy? Whatever it was, it did not feel too good. My eyes flicker briefly on his adams apple as it bobbed, like he was swallowing what he was going to say before heaving out a sigh.

He glanced down at his hands, spreading his fingers on the table between us, I watch him do all this, the grip on my cup getting tighter as the seconds tick by.

"I didn't know how," he began and our eyes meet again and for some insane reason, it was as if he was making me see it. See the truth inside his eyes. I blinked and looked down at his hands again and noticed he had nice nails. Clean.

"Rosemary disappeared years ago," he continued, this time his fingers were tapping on the wooden table. "I just- I didn't think it would have been something I needed to tell you right away. We had just come to terms with our...friendship and you're still heartbroken from Jasmine's disappearance and..." he trailed off. I felt his eyes on me but I focused on his hands, he had stopped tapping his fingers.

"I didn't know how to tell you without upsetting you further," he decided to end and this time, I do glance up at him with my emotions swirling inside of me.

"You should have told me," I said lightly. "Do you know what I thought when I found all those things in your room? I thought...I thought that-" I couldn't even bring myself to say it. I thought it was you. I thought you took her.

I felt his hands around mind and I discreetly suck in a breath. His hands were warmer than my coffee now.

"Patricia...," he starts and I never realized how much I had grown dependent on the fact that Jasper was there. That he was helping me find Jasmine. That I wasn't alone. I was scared, because if I had been right and Jasper had done something- this was the first time he had even said my name.

"That face again," he comments and my attention snaps back at him. There is a faint smile on his face that reminded me of something I can't quite remember. "I didn't want to tell you because I didn't know how and I didn't want you to lose hope...like I did."

"What happened?" I breathed as his hands slip away from mine. This time, his expression is of someone that was broken but his eyes were dark enough for me to know he was still angry about it.

"It happened just like this," he started, his fingers back to tapping. "Disappeared with no trace then a year after, a delivery of flowers."

"I tried so hard, you know. I tried so hard to look for her. Her disappearance took a toll on our parents. After a year and a half of trying to go on with our lives, my mother finally snapped. She lashed out on my dad and blamed him because Jasmine had been taken from our school. Dad was supposed to pick her up. I was out having fun with my friends."

"Their marriage failed and Dad started..." he paused, clenched and unclenched his fist. "Drinking too much. Mom left for my grandparents house and I was left alone to nurse my alcoholic father."