Flowers for you

Begonia

I see him.

I see how his shoulders are hunched as he walked the hallways like a zombie. There was a time, when he walked the halls and the crowd parted for him. A time when confidence and boldness radiated off him, and girls practically flung themselves to him, endlessly.

Now his light was gone. Specifically the red light that walked beside him. He walks down the halls, his eyes staring at something in front of him. People still steer clear away, but their eyes tell a different story.

He passes by me and does something I would never have imagined him doing. Smiling. It was quick, brief- barely there.

What a pair we would make. Suspects of a missing person's case. Presumed dead, pregnant, runaway- you name it. I groan inwardly and swing my backpack over my shoulder and walk the hallways, like a walking target.

Whispers and murmurs fill my ears but when I turn to look, they seem to disappear.

It's been a year. A year since she went missing. A year and still no leads.

I go through every detail of the last day I saw her. Every last thing. Did I miss something? Did she try to tell me something? Where she might be? Where she might go? Why she's not here. I try to keep my face stoic, blank and emotionless as I walked the halls. It was so different now. The bell rang and I make my way to my classroom, stopping short when the smell of a familiar perfumed filled my lungs. I glanced around me. The hallways were getting emptier and emptier until I was left alone.

With the heaviness in my heart threatening to spill, I enter the room and make my way to the back of the class. I still had to keep my grades up, it was not that difficult to do because studying proved to be quite a good distraction.

--

"Where do you want to eat later?" Nathan asks from across me. We were in one of the little food shops outside my campus. Nathan always takes the time to visit me, even if he has to drives miles back to his school. I shrug, not entirely participating in our conversation for a while now. Instead, I have been staring at the cup of coffee in my hands. I couldn't feel the heat even if I clasped it tight. The weather just sucks. . I knew for a fact that the coffee was hot because it burned my tongue not moments ago when I unconsciously took a sip. My tongue still burned- pain lasts. He reaches out to hold my hand and my eyes flicker up to meet his. He looked concerned, worried. I don't blame him. I knew he was one of those people who believe Jasmin was gone. He barely knew her, even though she was my best friend. They never really connected. One more reason why I am the worst best friend ever. I couldn't even let my boyfriend or her become close friends.

"I think I'll just stay at home tonight," I tell him. Worst girlfriend award goes to... Me. I couldn't tell what he was feeling. It had always been hard to read him but he always did what he said. Always the respectable man. Always the perfect son. How did I even get to deserve him. "I'm sorry," I mutter in case he felt cheated and decided not to argue because he felt bad for me. He smiles and takes hold of my hands.

"It's okay," he replies, running a thumb across my palm. Even his hands were cold. "I understand completely." I check my watch, it was almost time for my next class. He knows. He stands up, takes my books in his hands and holds out a hand for me. I stare at my coffee before picking it up and reached out to him. We walk in silence to the campus. Above us, the weather continued being crap as gray clouds rolled over and thunder rang a few miles away.

"Looks like its going to be heavy," he observes and I snuggle closer to him, hoping the cold would leave my skin but it doesn't. We stop at the gates and I watch the looming building ahead of us. He hands me my books and presses a kiss on my forehead. Somehow, the weather did nothing but increase my brooding. Nathan doesn't deserve this.