Perfectly Reckless (Dean x Reader)

CHAPTER 12

The last few days had been the worst, no sleeping, way too much liquor and isolation were all your body was asking you. That, or you know who. 
More than once you tried to shake the thoughts of Dean off your head but there was no use; his smile, his lips, his eyes, his tender touch, it wasn't going away no matter how much you tried to forget it.


Drowning your blood in alcohol, just trying to numb the feelings you were having and shutting up the thoughts in your mind. You were hunting and drinking, not caring a thing about anything. A walking mess. 



There was a moment you couldn't take it anymore and you found yourself crumbling apart in some motel room floor. You couldn't stop the tears from falling anymore, the pain in your chest became unbareble. Everything hurt too damn much. 

You knew you needed to find Ellen and that exact same night, you drove to her arms. 
She was extremely worried, she heard the brokeness in your voice and waited for you up all night so she could hug you and let you know you were going to be just fine. 



The next day, you opened your eyes to the sun bright in your face. 12 pm marked the clock beside the bed, you questioned going back to sleep or getting up and face the headache from last night's crying that was just stepping in. 



You grabbed some comfortable clothes and made your way to the kitchen since your body was begging you for some decent food and a ton of water. You found your mom there reading a book in the quiet of her home.


- "Morning, sunshine" she joked in attempts of making you smile.


- "Hey" you simply said pouring yourself a big cup of coffee. 


- "So... how are you feeling?".


- "Like crap" you joked but the look in your eyes spoke more words you could have possible said.


- "What happened? Come on, talk to momma" she sat facing you, getting all serious, making smile a little. She always had that effect on you.


- "Dean happened and he wasn't supposed to" you took a sip of your coffe, her full attention was on you. "He told me he loved me" you let out in a low tone.


- "Wow, what an asshole" she quickly replied sarcastically making you laugh. "What's wrong about that? And if you bring up those little stupid rules of yours I swear to god I'm going to slap you across the face".

- "But it's true. I don't fall in love, I don't commit. I can't do relationships, I can't do love" you shook your head, doing your best to not breakdown. 


- "(Y/N), you can do it. Love sucks only when you don't know what it's made of. For what he told me, you really know which his intentions are". 


- "He came to talk to you?" you asked surprised, she nodded holding your hand.


- "Falling in love it's not a bad thing. Falling for the wrong man is. Fall for a man who makes you feel at home, one who has his heart open wide and has no fear of giving it you completely. One who doesn't mind getting his hands dirty for the things you want the most, one that can carry the weight of you both, just in case you are so exhausted your legs can't function properly. And when you find him, fall in love all the way, no matter how scared you think you are. It's worth it".


Tears soon enough invaded your eyes, her arm hugging you tight to comfort you. 
"That's what Dean means to you?". 



You weren't able to find words to say, you just let it all out, bawling your eyes and your heart out like never before. You never allowed yourself to do that.



- "You think it's too late?" you asked her drying your eyes.




Hitting the road this time felt a little more calming than usual, you were driving to meet him. To apologize for breaking his heart, to let him know you loved him. 

Yeah, you loved him. You loved Dean Winchester with everything you had and somehow it had never been clearer for you than know. Guess you really need to lose it to realize what you have. 



The boys had just finished a hunt, Sam was in the shower and Dean had his back resting on the bedpost, his arms were closed, so were his eyes. Doing his best to not think of you, of anything. This had become a sport for him. Fighting the urge of calling you, of having you, of thinking about you. He wondered way too many times what he had done wrong, what he had ever done to not deserve you. Having you not loving him back when he could had sworn you felt the exact same thing. 



A familiar sound coming from outside snapped him out of his mind and as he opened the door to finally see you standing there, ripped jeans, plaid shirt, your hair falling over your shoulders, the sunset setting on your eyes. He couldn't believe it.



- "Hey" you approached passing your hand through Baby's trunk, "hey girl" you smiled at her.


- "Hey" he quietly said, looking everywhere but your eyes and you couldn't blame him. You hurt him like hell and right now, he didn't know what the hell were you doing there after everything you said.


- "I miss you" you simply said as your eyes found each other. "Not the I haven't seen you in a while kind of miss you but the I wish you were with me all the time kind of miss you". 



You looked down taking a deep breath, you were putting your heart out there, you were letting your guard down and you never did that, until you met him. Until you realized he was worth every single risk.



"I pushed you away because I was scared. I didn't want to see it, I just... I completely fell in love with you. With everything you do or say, with everything you are. You're my first thought in the morning and my last before I fall asleep. You make me laugh more than anyone else and I'm the best version of myself when I'm around you" you paused to look down as tears were creeping from your eyes. "The last thing I ever wanted to do was to hurt you" your sobbing eyes meeting his. "Really Dean, I mean it. It was never in my plans to hurt you. And I understand if you changed your mind but I want you. I want an irrational, passional, wildfire love. I want to lay next to you, watch the stars and listen to the beat of your heart, I want to fall asleep in your arms and forget the walls are shaking. I'm well aware falling for me it's easy and putting up with me it's nearly impossible but you deserve a love that most people don't believe in anymore and I'm willing to give it to you".



He took a moment to let everything sink in. 

He had the love of his life in front of him, giving him all he ever wanted from her. To let him love her.
 And he didn't think twice. He pulled you into his arms and kissed you like it was the last time he was going to do that. Wrapping you in his arms, he slid his hand in the back of your neck and made sure you knew how much he loved you. How much he wanted to know everything about you, your light and your darkness. He wanted to tear your fears down, he wanted to make you feel save, even though he knew you could do that yourself. He knew you weren't meant to keep on solid ground, you were meant to be anywhere, watch sunsets by the ocean or start a midnight fire in the middle of nowhere and he wanted to be there with you. 



You pulled away to catch a breath and meet his eyes, you smiled at him as he did the same thing. 


- "Can I take you out on a date now?" he asked with a smirk on his face making you laugh instantly, completely wrapped in each others arms.


- "Yeah, I think you can". 
You crushed his chest, holding him tight, you stayed there for a while before kissing his lips again and again. And again.



You were hunters, you had no idea what tomorrow was going to look like and to be honest, you didn't care either. Time didn't matter now and for once, everything felt like it was going to be okay. Your worlds became warmer now just because you had each other. 

Love isn't something you go after. Love finds your door whether you are ready for it or not and when it does, you'll experience a love so deep and strong that you'll begin to doubt if you even knew what love was before.