The Teenage Guide To Loneliness [Book 2 in the Teenage Guide Series]

Chapter 16: Shadow

As Carter stood there, totally embarassed and whimpering like a little kid, the crowd started to thin out. Sterling and Dawn gave her apologetic looks and walked off, leaving only Seth to comfort her. He pulled her into a hug and patted her back, which made her feel even more embarrassed. The awkwardness and pettiness of everything made her wish she could crawl into a cave. A dark one. On another planet. One that could shield her from everything and everyone, until the moment she graduated. 

"Want me to beat the shit out of them for you?" Seth asked.

"No. It's fine," Carter replied in a rather pathetic, blubbering tone. 

"You sure? I can totally take on all of them."

"I'll be fine. I gotta go. I've got detention." She moved back from the hug and turned away, not wanting him to see the growing tears in her eyes. She didn't want anyone feeling sorry for her, so she began fast-walking towards the detention classroom before Seth could say anything else. Maybe it was rude to leave him standing there, especially since he offered to come to her rescue, but she knew she would lose it even more if she let the moment continue. She made a mental note to find him tomorrow, thank him properly, and as an extra 'thank you' she would push Tala to stop being so afraid and give him a solid chance.

***

If there was one sin Tala had committed, over and over again, it would be pride. She had always prided herself in her achievements. Her grades. Her looks. Her idea of perfection. But for the past few months there seemed to be one loose string, slowly unravelling her flawless world, and she didn't know how to sew it back up. Sure, whenever someone else came to her for advice, she was able to drop serious guidance, never once questioning the wisdom. But when it came to herself, she was gradually falling apart.

As Tala stared down at the many college papers in front of her, she had no idea what to do next. Which college she should pick. What she should major in. How she was going to tell her father that a few of her top-choice universities had pulled their offers after what happened last year. Maybe that incident had been the moment that had set everything off. Maybe it was God's way of punishing her for her constant pride.

Her phone vibrated, knocking her out of her thoughts.

It was another text from Seth. He had sent her a few other texts throughout the day, all of which she had ignored. She didn't need the distraction. Not now. No matter how much she liked him, she had to prioritize. The most important thing right now was figuring out her way.

"Knock, knock!"

Tala looked up from the floor of her bedroom, where all the college papers were, to find her sister standing at the doorway. "Oh, hey. I thought your flight was tomorrow."

Setareh Ansari was older than Tala. More beautiful. Better at pretty much everything. She was the poster child for effortless perfection, and the one person Tala could never catch up to. As Setareh stood there with a smile on her face, Tala couldn't help but feel the usual pang of jealousy.

"It was, but I rescheduled. Why are you looking at colleges? I thought you had already decided on Harvard." Setareh glanced around at all the paper, then gave Tala stern look.

"Don't tell mom and dad, but Harvard pulled the offer after what happened last year."

"Have you even told them about that?"

"Of course not," Tala said, then turned away. "But whatever, it's fine."

"You know you're playing with fire, right? When dad finds out-"

"He's not going to find out. Next year I'll be gone and it won't make a difference."

Setareh put up her hands in defeat, "Okay, relax. I'm just worried. You don't seem like yourself."

That's because I'm not myself. My body's been infiltrated by an alien, one determined to destroy everything I've worked so hard for. Great, now I sound like Carter. "You don't need to worry. I'll figure it out. So... how long are you in town for?"

"A couple of days. I have to be in London by Sunday night." Being a woman of many notable, worldly talents, Setareh was constantly going somewhere amazing. London. Rome. Paris. Tokyo. She would start grand charities, attend the most exclusive fashion shows, and be home at least once a month to give their parents a very detailed update on her every venture. "I can get you a position at the Winter gala I'm co-directing there, if you like."

It was a tempting offer. Setareh would make these suggestions whenever she visited, all of which Tala would turn down. If she was going to make it, she would do it on her own. For the most part. Their parents would fund her educational trips to Europe anyway. She didn't need her older sister to start giving her pity job positions on top of that. "No. I have a few volunteer programs I'm involved with here, plus some extra-curricular activities. I'm way too busy."

"If you ever change your mind though, there's always a job for you. Anyway, how are things in the boyfriend department? How's that guy you were talking to while in New York? What was his name? Kevin? Cory?"

"Kiran? He was never a boyfriend. He wasn't even a friend. More of an acquaintance, really."

"Right," Setareh said, a coy smile on her lips. "Sis, you don't talk every single day to a guy who's only an acquaintance."

For the past couple of weeks Tala had been trying to erase those moments from her conscience. She had been alone in New York, failing her advanced summer classes, and Kiran happened to be around. One chance meeting had lead to a full week of conversation. In her weakness and loneliness she had sought comfort in his - strictly platonic - company. One friendly face in a sea of a thousand strangers wasn't something she could turn away so easily.

It wasn't until the end of one week where things had taken a turn for the worse. Tala wasn't sure if it was Kiran's own loneliness that had led him to kiss her, or if he had actually developed feelings beyond friendship for her. Their lips had touched for a second, maybe two, before her mind had registered what was going on.  She had then moved back, glared at him as if he had fed her a horrible offense, and walked away.

He hadn't contacted her even once after, and she had taken it to mean that whatever that kiss was, whatever their conversations were, they were just in a moment. A second of longing for someone else. Maybe he had missed Carter and wasn't thinking clearly.

Tala knew that if she told Carter, that their friendship would be over. She had seen what happened between Carter and Leigh last year, and Kiran had been the root of the problem then too. What was his problem anyway? Guys were typically stupid, a lesser species, but he was so far removed from common sense that she wondered how he stood upright without tripping over his stupidity. Last year she was convinced that him and Carter made a proper couple, but now she knew that Carter deserved better. "Trust me, that's all he was. A worthless nobody."

"At least tell me you've found someone else to keep you busy."

Seth's face flashed across Tala's mind, but she quickly dismissed it. "I need to focus on what college I'm going to go to next year. Most people are already obsessing over their dorm situations, and I'm here shuffling through this crap like a loser. I can't have a guy distracting me."

"You're wound up too tight, sis. Sometimes all you need to steer you in the direction is a little fun."

"Okay, If you're not going to help me go through these papers, you need to leave." Tala was getting irritated. Setareh already had the world handed to her on a silver platter - didn't she understand that all Tala wanted was the same thing? Seth Sebastian could wait. Her future couldn't.