Brutally Honest Reviews™

Expectations

5) The infamous "I'm pregnant" scene? Check!

-I'm going to hurl. I thought we were past this! *Shakes violently* (-10)

Plot: *Calms down* Crying naive girl's baby daddy walks out on her. *Shuts eyes* that is all.

*Future me buts in*

-Okay, so this chapter's plot is basically a prologue about four guys planning on catching a new "prey" for their entertainment, and the main character gets a blue-eyed girl pregnant. I'm going to S C R E A M.

Opening thoughts:

*Reads opening paragraph*

*Inhales deeply*

-Excerpt: "November seventh was the day it all started I was at a party with my mates drinking and laughing at drank ass people and their ways when my mate Ethan said "It's your turn Ried."

*Crickets chirp*

-I have no words. I actually do, but this review would last far too long. This is a rough start. It just is. There's a period missing after "started" (the grammar is a mess regardless but still), though that doesn't stop it from being a poor opening sentence to a book either. In fact, this entire sentence can be cut down into three. THREE! There is so much telling going on that it makes it impossible for me to care enough to actually read on and be invested. (-3)

-"Drunk" is spelled incorrectly as well. (-1)

-And I bet that they're talking about a girl too. Watch me be right!

-*Sighs* I was right.

- Excerpt: {"Give us a week and you'll have a vitum." Xavier chuckled at his choice of word 'vitum'. I didn't consider them vitums but Xavier knows Cameron hates the word so if the chance to piss Cameron off comes Xavier takes it.}

-When I first read that, I thought the spelling errors were done on purpose. I tried to think they were, but the problem with that assumption was apparent when I read the paragraph over again (three times to be exact. Sleep was messing with my eyes!).

-I found NO logical reason why the writer would purposefully decide to misspell them besides from them being an actual demon, or simply not knowing how to use spell check. I can take "victim" being spelled wrong once, but three times? THREE?! *Internally screeches*

-I can't believe this is happening. (-3)

Characters:

-Reid. A fucking disease that needs to be eradicated from the (fictional) earth. This character is the most pointless, hollow, cardboard cut out of a human being. He is a vacant, unused cupboard. One that needs Jake Gylenhaal's character from Demolition to teach it a lesson. One that needs a fucking chainsaw through its ASS! *Breaths heavily*

-Fuck this "character"! (-2)

-Ethan, Xavier, and Cameron. This fuckwad's friends (how does he have them? Good question.) that the readers are suppose to care about, and believe are actual humans.

-Funny.

Dialogue: All of it is lifeless, unbelievable, and is giving me a migraine.

Inconsistencies (if any):

-The conversation this book opens up with is really irking me. Not only is it misogynistic, the narration doesn't seem try to condemn it or address it as so?

-Okay, I'm going to try to understand this group of guys' mindsets. I may just die, but wish me luck:

-Why would Ethan tell Reid (*vomits and pants*), "It's your turn", when he didn't even have a readied group of girls for Reid (*vomits violently*) to even "select" from? How it's presented, it seems like sort of a long jump procedure before they can make a decision, right?