Fear me, Love me

Swallowed by Shadow

They were on the rooftop of Notre dame - the city of Paris a magic carpet beneath them. Stars shone brightly in the night sky and the moonlight reflected in puddles and off the green slime clinging to the old stone. Chaga motioned her in warning. Carefully she edged around a gargoyle, gripping onto its eroded horn as she peered down.

Wind howled through the battlements and Lauren's grip tightened, turning her knuckles bone white.

"You couldn't have known what he'd do." A longing tug seized her heart and she hated herself for it. Below them, Ryder strode down the pavement, long leather coat flapping in his wake - oblivious to their presence. Her dark secret battered against her wounded heart.

She'd told Chaga that Ryder had kidnapped her - that she'd had a chance to kill him and hadn't taken it. But she hadn't told him the worst part. Thunder rumbled in the heavens. That she had once, almost, fallen in love with Ryder - head of the European Slave Trade Company. Shame and guilt clawed at her insides. Lightening flashed - illuminating Ryder's handsome profile.

They lived a strange kind of life now. Stealing what they needed. Always on edge, never rested - always worrying, worrying about tomorrow, about survival - about capture. Raindrops beat against their hoods as Lauren and Chaga skulked in an alleyway - hidden from view behind rubbish bins. Demons crossed the alleys mouth - walking purposefully through the town. Their town. Lauren stuffed her freezing hands under her armpits. She had a foul taste in her mouth these days. Like rust on the tip of her tongue.

Slipping out of the town with the supplies they needed they cut through the fields - staying off the roads. Stars shone overhead and Lauren's hair ruffled in the cool night air - briefly revealing a glimpse of the three gruesome scars that ran over her skull, the longest ending just beneath her right ear. Chaga gripped her arm suddenly and dragged her down with him. They crouched low - listening.

Slavers. Lauren held very still - barely daring to breathe. There were half a dozen slavers, all armed. They scanned the field, their large bug like eyes twitching in their small heads. Sweat gathered on Lauren's skin and her heart beat to a crescendo in her chest. Not now. Please not now. She felt her legs give way and her head fell heavily against Chaga's shoulder. He supported her weight easily. Lauren gritted her teeth in concentration.

Her eyes rolled back in her head and she began to shake violently. Don't make a sound. Chaga covered her eyes and mouth with his sweaty hands. The slavers prowled slowly toward them. A scene materialised before Lauren's eyes and suddenly she was once more in the Mors pack prison. The hand around her mouth was rotted, cold white bone with strips of grey flesh hanging like ribbons. She gaged and tears streamed down her cheeks. She knew, knew that really she was in a field with Chaga and if she made a sound then the slavers would find them. It wasn't real.

"Death sees you." Lauren's heart trembled on hearing that voice. It was distorted, raspy - uttered by a foul tongue in a corpses over stretched mouth. Suddenly the grip holding her let her go and she fell to the floor. She rolled onto her back and looked up in horror at - Wade. One eye was missing, leaving only a black and green empty socket with juices flowing from it, trailing into his bloody mouth. Wade walked closer to her, his juddering movements causing his bones to crack and scrape. He leant down, hovering over her. "Deaths on its way." The tight skin stretched into a horrific grin.

"Lauren!" Wade vanished in a puff of smoke as Lewis walked through him. He sank to his knees before her and Lauren stared up at him. His brilliant, beautiful blue eyes were just as she remembered. "Lauren are you ok?" He gripped her shoulders and shook her. Lauren reached up and cupped his face tenderly.

"You're alive," her trembling voice broke with feeling. "You came back for me." She smiled, pulling him closer. She breathed in his scent of mint and pine needles. It was real, she could feel him - feel the warmth of his skin. "I killed George. I didn't mean to, it was an accident." She looked at him beseechingly, willing him to understand. He smiled sadly at her, the adoration not diming in his eyes. "I did so many horrible things and I told so many lies. I regret that now." She pulled him closer and kissed his forehead, then his eyes and nose. Lewis' hands wrapped around her wrist. "I love you, I'll always love you." She closed her eyes, moving to at last kiss his lips.

"Fox." Lauren froze. Cold air hit her in an instant. Lauren gasped and pulled back. She was in the field, on the ground with Chaga kneeling before her - his worried gaze scrutinising her. Lauren crumbled. Just another of deaths tricks. Her breathing became ragged as broken sobs broke from her chest. Chaga lifted her from the ground, carrying her in his arms. "We need to move on." Lauren wrapped her hands around his neck and closed her eyes.

In the days that followed her health rapidly deteriorated.

Lauren paused for a moment - struggling to catch her breath. It was a cloudy day - faintly drizzling. Lauren fought back tears as she continued walking. Her body ached - she misjudged a step and stumbled slightly. Her ankle cracked and Lauren cried out as she fell. Her body smacked the ground and she rolled down the grass.

"Coming to get you." Rasped a voice in her head. Lauren whimpered. Chaga rushed to her side.

"Are you hurt?" Lauren leant against him.

"Coming to get you."

"You need rest."

"No!" Lauren argued.

"Lauren you-"

"We need to keep moving. I won't put you in danger." She protested adamantly. She tried to stand but pain shot up her ankle. Chaga attempted to help her. "I'm fine."

He rolled his eyes, "Lord give me strength."

He ended up carrying her most days and whenever she walked on her own they never made it far. Chaga stopped arguing - they just did whatever Lauren wanted. She read the pity in his gaze and knew the reason behind it.

Lauren stared up at the night sky. She heard Chaga's approach but didn't stir. She raised a hand to the sky as if reaching out for the stars. Chaga sank down on the grass beside her, a heavy sigh escaping his lips.

"Chaga?" He made a sound in the back of his throat of assent. "I can't see the sky." His lips compressed into a hard line.

Reaching out he intertwined her raised fingers with his.

"Can you see me?"

"No." He lowered his head to her until their foreheads touched.

"Now?"

"No." She started coughing - a hacking, dry sound. She twisted to avoid coughing on him but Chaga didn't flinch or move away.

Slowly he lay down beside her. The dew on the grass was cold and unpleasant beneath his head. Her coughing fit subsided but her breathing remained heavy and laboured. Reaching over he rolled her over onto her side so that she was facing him. Gently he raised her head and placed his arm under it as a cushion. His other arm covered her waist - providing warmth as a blanket. Lauren huddled close against him - her head tucked under his chin.

"What will you do?" She struggled to catch her breath.

"When?"

"After... Promise me," her heavy eyelids fluttered closed, "promise me you won't be alone." Chaga scowled.

"You aren't leaving me."

"I don't want to." Her voice was feint. He clutched her tighter against his hard chest.

She smiled weakly. She could see Wade. He was kneeling over her. Not the rotting corpse of her friend, he looked like Wade - her Wade - but with an ethereal glow. He smiled kindly down at her and Lauren relaxed, a wave of peace breaking over her. Wade reached out one finger and touched her forehead. She gasped - surprised by the heat of his touch.

"Don't - just don't." Chaga's voice shook. "You're young. You're still so young." He felt her go still in his arms. Chaga drew a raw ragged breath. Tears streamed from his dark eyes and fell upon her hair. He could no longer feel her breath against his chest. "Fox?" He pulled back slightly - looking down at her peaceful face. He groaned - pain lacerating his heart. He leant down and kissed her forehead furiously. Broken sobs tore through him as he cradled her limp body.

Lauren Fox was buried on the road side. Chaga marked her grave with a makeshift cross and said a few words. He didn't think it could be long until he joined her. With heavy heart and weary soul he carried on his journey - a bleak horizon ahead.