Fear me, Love me

Wintry Heart

"Lauren we need to move!" Ollie's panicked voice intruded on Lauren's chaotic thoughts. They'd been staying in a youth hostel with other refugees. Ollie flung open the cubical door, skidding on the bathroom tiles. "They're searching all the rooms and pulling everyone out onto the street." A fresh wave of nausea assaulted her tender stomach and she groaned - resting her cheek against the loo seat. "Lauren!" Her shoulders quivered and a broken sob escaped her lips.

Ollie gripped her shoulder, trying to shake her to her senses. He gagged, tears prickling his eyes as the stench of vomit rose up to meet him. Lauren managed to lift her head. A sheen of sweat coated her skin and she struggled to get Ollie in focus. He sank to his knees at her side.

"It's morning sickness." Ollie froze, staring at her in horror.

Lauren clenched her hands into trembling fists. She was pregnant with Ryder's baby. The possibility had been plaguing her for days, gnawing at the back of mind but she'd pushed it back - unable to confront the awful truth. Guilt felt like an iron weight around her neck. She'd betrayed him. Dismissed his feelings for her completely so that she could have her revenge. Tears spilt down her gaunt face. Now she had no idea if he was dead or alive.

Men in army uniforms burst through the door. "Ollie?" Ollie didn't struggle as they yanked him to his feet and dragged him away from her. "Ollie!" Rough hands pulled at her and forced her to her feet. She stumbled, her legs shaky, and craned her neck trying to keep her brother in sight. They were led outside to where other residents were already lined up. Lauren's breath fogged up in front of her and she shivered in the cold. Around her people coughed and sniffed, most of them like her weren't dressed to be outdoors.

Eventually, the soldiers appeared confident that they had everyone assembled. An officer worked his way through the line picking people out.

"Where are you taking my son?"

"He's being conscripted into the army."

"He's all I have! Please, please don't take him away from me!" The mother cried out as she was thrown roughly to the ground. When the officer reached Ollie he selected him without hesitation, next he was in front of Lauren.

"This one too."

"Not my sister," Ollie interjected, struggling against his escort. "She's pregnant." The officer nodded moving on to the next person. Tears stung Lauren's eyes. Without her to protect him she might lose him forever. Her heart was gripped in a vice of pain as their eyes met in parting. Heart breaking she remained silent - internally she screamed for her brother.

The number of residents had been severely culled by the conscription call and Lauren joined the remaining few to stagger wearily back inside. Most people quickly dispersed through the hostel but a woman lingered for a while beside Lauren.

"Pregnant huh?" She asked, her tone not unkind. Lauren nodded. The woman patted her awkwardly. "If you want to chat at all. Come find me. We'll both be lonely now." Lauren nodded, too upset to remember to say thank you. The woman retreated upstairs. Lauren leant against the wall, wrapping her arms comfortingly around herself, slow tears slipping down her pale cheeks.

"You wana have that baby?" Lauren stiffened - startled to discover an old man standing close beside her. The man had wild, roving eyes that darted about them with a feverish excitement. "You want rid?" His shaking fingers fumbled, pulling up his slipping cardigan. "There's a way. We knows." The man tapped the side of his nose. He nodded knowingly but seemed unable to stop - his head continuing to wobble. "Cost ya mind." Lauren reached out and grabbed hold of the man's wrist - afraid he'd vanish like a fairy.