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Someone was going to die.

Whomever it was pounding outside, would die a thousand deaths.

Bella wasn't a normally violent person, unless you were a six-foot-three bearded God with arms of steel. Him, she'd like to kick again. Even in her dreams, the man pissed her off, never allowing her to get off.

She was hot and bothered with no man around. At that point, she considered making Edward a caution sign he could wear around his neck; Warning: all available and unavailable women and men to avoid staring into those eyes of his, or else you'll dream about him forever.

The man had only touched her arm, and though she was mad at the time, she hadn't forgotten how she felt at that moment. Heat curled her toes, desire sent her heart rate spiraling, and that look combined with his touch, obliterated the usefulness of her underwear.

She liked the yellow polka dot boy shorts.

Bam, bam, bam

She turned onto her back and screamed. "I need to sleep, asshole!" The pounding stopped for a few seconds and restarted just as loud, and now even faster. She screamed again, and tossed the blankets off walking over to her window.

She couldn't see who it was. Since the asshole contractor that stole her money was long gone, there shouldn't be anyone working on her home that week. Jacob Black was another one on her shit list, that she now realized she had an actual need for.

Bella's Shit List

Edward Cullen- for being too hot for his own good and an asshole

Jacob Black- for stealing $25,000 for materials and then disappearing

Paul Lahote- for having a five-inch dick he didn't know how to use

There were others, so Bella memorized her mental list as she continued to add to it and the ways she'd pay them all back for the shit they'd done to her. Okay, she could forgive Edward, and ask him to stay for breakfast the next morning. Damn, her mind was perpetually in the gutter lately.

Opening the window, she found the noisy culprit and shook her fist at the asshole hammering away on her porch.

"What the hell are you doing on my property?"

The figure on the ladder turned, and even under the thick, auburn shield of hair and beard, she saw Edward's eyes widen.

Then he fell off the ladder.

She stepped away from the window grimacing as she realized she was naked.



"You have a damn screw loose," Edward hissed at Bella. She was patching up a cut over his eyebrow after slapping an ice pack on his cheek. He swore his brain rattled in his head when he hit the railing. If anyone had seen that, he'd never live that shit down. At least the pain helped to remind him that he was angry with her.

He couldn't even look at her without the image of her completely naked superimposing itself over her clothed body. Not that the barely there shorts and tank top helped the damn situation.

"Insulting me while I'm fixin' you up is stupid," she said in a sickeningly sweet voice that should've annoyed him. It didn't. She emphasized her point by pressing much harder than needed on his forehead.

He bit back the need to grunt, his teeth clenched as tight as his fists. Twice, he had to adjust himself as he sat on the porch chair. More often than that, he had to avert his eyes from her ludicrously soft-looking skin.

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