' 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗦𝗘𝗡𝗗 𝗠𝗘 𝗦𝗪𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗜𝗡 ' › D. SWING

01.

There are many things I regret in my life but I can honestly say, none of them included meeting Donald DeGrate, Jr. Well, you may know him as his stage name, DeVante Swing. He's the producer, songwriter, and singer of one of the most legendary R&B male groups in the world. Jodeci. He founded the group at the age of 16 and was the very reason they had even gotten a record deal with Uptown in the early 90s. With his background of playing 12 instruments and doing vocal arrangements of the church choir, he was bound to be a successful musician. A genius, even.

I was lucky to have such a gifted man in my life. He had opened my eyes to many things. Some good, and some bad. But they were all valuable lessons that I've taken along with me during my journey on this earth.

My first love.

His father was the pastor of the church and mine was a deacon while my mother was on the usher board. Both with parents deeply invested into ministry, we had grew up together, always seeing each other.

I remember the first time I had met him. It was early on Sunday morning. Me and my parents had just moved from Chicago because my father said he had a dream about North Carolina and felt that God wanted him there. I never understood how things worked when it came to religion because I was so young. I just knew that God created everyone and He was my father's best-friend. They spoke everyday and always had such a close bond even though I had never seen Him before. We even prayed to Him. I wasn't sure why but I was told that God was always there to help when you needed Him, so I just mimicked my parents. Somehow, we ended up in Charolette which was a small city with lots of religious people. We came across a church near our house. You could hear the piano and powerful voices of the choir as they sang praises. You couldn't help but to want go inside. The music was so inviting and well executed. It made me feel something in my spirit that I had never experienced before while we walked into the sanctuary, easing past people in the congregation as they danced and shouted, singing along with the choir. The large group stood behind the pulpit with maroon robes that had a gold, satin fabric hanging over the shoulders that was in the shape of a downward triangle. They clapped as a few others had tambourines in hand, rocking side to side on one accord. My eyes traveled over to the piano expecting to see a man my father's age only to see a young boy that was close to my age instead.

In awe, I stood there in the middle of the aisle watching him as he played so effortlessly. His eyes were closed while his eyebrows were tightly knitted together as his lips mouthed the very words the choir was singing. I knew just about every gospel song there was but not this one. I was so fascinated by him, I remember tugging on my father's jacket telling him I wanted to be like the boy on the piano. He just chuckled and rocked side to side, keeping his focus straight ahead.

I let go of my father's hand and moved through the crowd of people, walking closer to the front so that I could get a better look at him. His fingers were so long and they moved rapidly like he had years of practice. Slowly opening his eyes, he looked over at the choir before scanning over the congregation. When his eyes met mine, I froze. They were hazel. He was first black boy I had ever seen with a color other than dark brown. He was beautiful. From the shape of his nose down to the fullness of his lips. Once he realized I had been staring at him, he quickly glanced down at his hands to avoid eye contact. I wasn't sure if I had creeped him out or if he was just bashful but I was hoping I didn't scare him away.

That day after service, my father had decided to formally introduce himself to Donald DeGrate, Sr. He was standing along side his wife, the pianist, and two younger boys. A nervous wreck, I hooked my arms around my mother's and gazed down at my white wedges. All I heard was "And this is my daughter, Rhonda." I looked up to see everyone staring at me. A bit hesitant, I slowly raised my hand to wave at them as I greeted them, "Nice to meet you all."

I could feel his eyes on me but I kept my attention on the pastor and his wife as they smiled at me warmly, "Such a respectful young lady." He placed his hand on his wife's shoulder, "This is my wife Mary Anne and my three boys Donald, Dalvin, and Derek." I just grinned shyly in response as I nodded my head. "Boys, why don't you go show Rhonda to the dining hall so she can get herself a plate. I'm sure she's hungry." They all nodded and started heading out of the sanctuary and I followed while they led me down this long and narrow hallway. We remained silent as our shoes clicked on the tiled floors.

"How old are you?", Dalvin asked as he glanced over his shoulder to look at me.

"Nine", I said, waiting for him to tell me his age.

"Oh, I'm nine too! Donny is eleven and Derek is ten", he replied with excitement. "You just move here?"

I nodded and Donny nudged Dalvin, "She probably doesn't want you asking so many questions."

Shrugging my shoulders, I interrupted him, "I don't mind. I just moved here from Chicago. Y'all ever been?"

"Nope", they all said at one.

Donald held the door open to the dining hall and made a gesture for me to walk in first. I thanked him and headed inside as Dalvin and Derek followed behind and Donald walking in last, allowing the door to swing closed on its own. There were tables set up throughout the room sort of like a cafeteria. People stood in line as they had their plates made and Dalvin and Derek ran to join them only to be pulled back by their collar by Donald, "Hey, you know you're supposed to let the girls eat first. Keep on and I'ma tell dad on y'all." They both sucked their teeth and exchanged looks with each other before stepping back and letting me walk in front of them.

Since then, Donald has always looked out for me. Whether it was his two younger brothers picking on me or kids at school, he had my back.

A year after being at the church, I was already in the choir and spending time over the DeGrates' house on Wednesdays for bible study.

"Then there was high school"—

It didn't take long for me and Donald to become good friends even though we were both at different levels academically. He wasn't the best in school so I would often help him with his homework, well, actually I would just do it for him because he would be too busy playing the piano or somewhere in his own little world.

Due to him not being that great with keeping his grades up, he had trouble with making friends at school and getting girls to like him back because they thought he wouldn't amount to anything later in life. However, they weren't aware of how talented he really was. I mean, school is not for everyone and that's just the simple truth. That didn't make him any less than anybody else, at least not to me. I always saw potential in him, knowing that he was going to be a legend in music. He wrote songs for the choir, played 12 instruments, arranged vocals, and had a mind like no one I've ever met. When it came to music, it was effortless for him. It was his calling. I just didn't know he would end up doing music outside of church, but we'll get to that eventually.