"Y/N isn't this so delicious?" Shawn referred to the plate of food in front of him.
You put your catalog on the table that was placed in the middle of your living room. You turned your attention to a wide mouthed Shawn that was standing at the kitchen counter with his food.
"Yeah, it looks really good Shawn." You'd meant it. You could smell the delightful scent coming from the sauce that was spread amongst the long strands of pasta.
"It tastes better than it looks." Shawn suggested, twirling some pasta around the fork he was now holding towards you. As good as it looked, you knew you couldn't eat it. It would only increase the amount of fat on your tummy.
"Oh, um, Shawn I just ate..maybe some other time." you lied. As much as it hurt to lie to him, it had to be done, you couldn't help it. It just has to be done. Some situations were just too complicated to speak of and understand.
Shawn currently had his eyes squinted at me. It took a while for him to respond before he spoke, "Are you kidding Y/N? I haven't seen you eat at all today."
"Well for starters Shawn, I wasn't here all day. I already ate at work," I informed him, disregarding any of his upcoming accusations. "But since you really want me to try this pasta, it must be that good." You forced a fake smile and even some enthusiasm.
You uncrossed your legs from the armchair you were currently on and stood up on your feet. You made your way over to Shawn who looked gleeful at the fact that you were actually going to try the pasta. I leaned forward, balancing on my right foot only. Shawn inserted the forkful of food into my mouth. I covered my mouth and chewed.
"Mmm. This is actually pretty good." You claimed. No this is bad. I have to rid this from my body before it enters my digestive system. You just need tell Shawn you really need to use the bathroom, that's it.
"I just remembered I have to change my tampon." I spoke. "If you'll excuse me momentarily." You gave him a smile, exposing your row of pearls.
You stepped away from the kitchen and made your way into the bathroom. You closed the door behind you and put the toilet seat up. You positioned yourself on your knees before the toilet. You placed your head just above it before inserting a finger down your throat. The overwhelming feeling of puke making its way up your mouth took over. The retching sound of puke splattering into the toilet echoed in the bathroom. You were about to insert your finger again when you heard banging on the door.
"Y-Y/N, darling, please open the door." You could hear the worry in Shawn's voice.
"Shawn I'm fine, don't worry." You breathed heavily.
"I want to make sure you're okay beautiful." He replies.
"Don't call me that!" You yelled, tears now forming in your eyes.
"But you ar--"
"How can I be beautiful when I'm not skinny enough Shawn?" You cried out, "How can you possibly show interest in something like me when you can do so much better."
"I don't need better when I have the best. Y/N you're the most extraordinary thing I've ever seen." Shawn whispered calmly, "I want you to know you're the best thing that could have ever happened to me in this life. Worth more than this world could ever give. Nothing will ever compare to the love I have for you. It will be yours forever. It hurts me when you don't view yourself as I see you. You're the only one in this world that could defy all odds. You've got a hold of me, and don't even know your power. You are the reason behind every breathe, heartbeat and gleaming smile of mine."
There was a moment of silence before the bathroom door clicked. You opened the door to meet with the 6ft giant, holding a palm to his heart, with a sigh that conveyed relief. He pulled you into a hug. Despite the heaviness in your stomach, you let your body sag, your muscles became loose. He gave you the respect of an equal but cradled you like a cherished child. You sunk into the fluttering feeling, appreciative of the gesture. That's all you needed.
"You're the only person I know that gives indefinite hugs." You mumbled against him.
"Well, where else would I rather be?" In that moment his arms squeezed a fraction tighter and you breathed more slowly, your body melting into Shawn.
Finally, after you separated, Shawn placed both hands on the sides of your face. He looked at you with deep-set eyes. His eyes were always so different in moments like these; more soft than you knew eyes could be.
"Don't ever harm yourself like that again. I-i don't know what I would do if I lost you, Y/N." Shawn spoke softly. You could decipher the heartbreak in his voice.
You closed your eyes, as if in meditation, before saying,
"I promise."
Shawn took this as another opportunity to bring you in for another hug. You pressed your body in, soft and warm. This was the love you've waited for, prayed for. You inwardly thanked God and hugged all the tighter. A love like this was to be cherished for life.
