Yeses and Toes

The Ass-Groove

"I can't do this anymore! Get out of my house!"

"Your house?"

Home sweet home.

Alvin had come back shortly after we had helped move all Luke's stuff out of his car and into the living room. The two weren't so happy to see each other, especially Alvin, who didn't like to keep non-performer company. I didn't think Luke was really all that bothered, he just liked to rile people up. Which was why, as the weeks went by, it was becoming rather hard to tolerate him.

So, instead of coming home from Debby's to hissing and spitting from Alvin to Fleur, I came home to hissing and spitting from Alvin and Fleur to Luke. But at least Fleur and Alvin didn't fight anymore. That's got to count for something, right? They were too busy attacking Luke to attack each other. They had formed a really good team, I think, what with all of their Shakespearian insults that only drama-club kids wouldn't get confused by.

I almost felt sorry for Luke when Alvin said his wit was "as thick as a Tewkesbury mustard," and then laughed at his bewildered expression.

But I wasn't sorry enough to not hate him for setting up camp on the living room couch and thus forcing me to dance in my chicken-coop of a bedroom.

It had been two months since I gave in and told him he could stay. We had thought he would be gone way before now, but he was still here, eating all of our food and doubling the water bill - he took even longer showers than Fleur and I put together! And, unfortunately, it was becoming crystal clear that he didn't want to leave anytime soon.

"It isn't your house," Luke said a little smugly, like he knew everything. "You guys rent."

"Yes," Fleur yelled. "We rent. You're just the lazy freeloader who ruined my ass-groove on our sofa!"

I snorted.

Their heads all snapped to me at exactly the same time. It was a bit like they were puppets. It was all a little creepy.

"I'm sorry," I said to them, putting my hands up in surrender. They all looked at me like I dropped their toothbrushes in the toilet and didn't tell them about it until a week later. Luke had a tinge of amusement in his expression, though. "You can't say 'ass-groove' while in a heated argument, Fleur. It degrades all meaning."

Luke chuckled in agreement.

Even Alvin said, "She's got you there, love."

Fleur crossed her arms, a menacing look on her face. "Okay, then what should I say."

I shrugged. "I don't know. 'Bum furrow'?"

"Yeah," Luke agreed. A cheeky grin crossed his face. "Or 'butt rut'."

We collapsed into a fit of laughter at that. Alvin and Fleur both rolled their eyes, saying we were immature, before they slunk off to their bedroom.

I knew I should have done the same. Gone off to my bedroom, I mean. But when the two of us calmed down enough for Luke to say we should go sit on the couch, I said, "Yeah."

"Fleur and her ass-groves. She leaves one on every couch," he commented, his green eyes still twinkling from our immature jokes.

"I guess I see where she's coming from. It is nice to have something moulded around your butt," I defended.

He let out a loud, booming laugh. "After all these years, I forgot you were so funny, Freak."

I felt my face redden a bit but then frowned. Why am I blushing for Luke? He was my high school bully. The bane of my existence. I decided I was tired and should leave before I did something I would regret.