Pentatonix one shots

I believe (Jerstie)

An: So this is my first Jerstie one shot.... hope you like it.

I let myself believe the things that i believe all because of the things that people said to make me believe those things. What a mouthful right? That's just the beginning.

I let myself believe that i am a tomboy. I let myself believe that i am not like others. I let myself believe that others are not like me. I let myself believe that i am not beautiful enough. I let myself believe that i can not do the things that other people do.

I let myself believe that i am not worthy enough to wear dresses. I let myself believe that my hair was just a dark lump of disgust unless i change its colour every now and then. I let myself believe that my scars were ugly. I let myself believe that i, myself, was a scar. I let myself believe that make up is the only thing that could make me pretty. I let myself believe that not even make up could make me look beautiful. I let myself believe that if i wear something revealing people would judge me. I let myself believe that being myself was never an option.

I let myself believe that the only answer was to be fake. I let myself believe that if i say no to the things that i love to do i could fit in. I let myself believe that i should box up everything inside of me. I let myself believe that if i told anyone anything i would burst. I let myself believe that i would never in my life find love. I let myself believe that love would never find me. I let myself believe that I'm not good enough.... i let myself believe all of these things.

But you don't get it do you? You don't understand what I'm upset about. I'm not upset about being all of these things. I call myself names. I look in the mirror and i tell myself things that you couldn't even imagine and the words i say to myself are words that not even a dictionary could help you guess what they are.

That is not why I'm upset though. I'm upset because i chose to believe all of these things. People said those things to me and i chose to believe them. I could have easily ignored them but i chose to believe them. I could have shook them off and continued to move on with my life but i chose to believe them. I could have easily went on with my day not giving a damn about anything they say but i chose to believe them. The fact that i, me myself and i, chose to believe them will haunt me for the rest of my life.

It had a huge impact on my life...  me believing what they said to me. They hated me and i couldn't do anything about it. I am thankful that i was always protected by my best friends, Scott and Mitch, but that just made me look like i am helpless and a coward which i also let myself believe that i truly am. I chose to believe that i am a coward and that i am nothing without someone protecting me.

Now look at where i stand. I sing at sold out concerts all around the world. I travel to these places to live my dream with me four best friends, Avi, Kevin, Scott and Mitch. I perform with them on tour. I sign autographs for my fans, three year olds to five hundred year olds. *( Pls tell me that you get this...)

(Quoted by Kirstin herself ☺)
I stand on a stage doing the thing that i love most in this world right now. I take pictures with people who love what i do. I hug them and talk to them. I get to meet the people who call me their inspiration. I get to do all these things.... but not for fame. Not at all. I do this because when people were saying those things to me, music set me free. I remember what it felt like for me to have inspiration and now..... the fact that I can be an inspiration to others is so cool and so amazing. I can't even describe that. The best part is.... those people who made me choose to believe are now there, jumping and having fun at my concerts.

Now... i choose to believe that i have found happiness. I choose to believe that i am worth it. I choose to believe that i am beautiful. I choose to believe that scars on my body are memories that won't fade away. I choose to believe that i can wear what i want when i want where ever i want because the only person that can controll what i do is me. I choose to believe that every inch of me is beautiful because i am one of a kind.

I choose to believe all of these things because i found love and love found me. The thing that I was afraid of not having. The thing that i was afraid of not finding. The thing that i was afraid of not feeling. The thing that i was afraid of not giving. A lot of people had told me this but i chose to believe one person.

There are more than seven billion people in the world out there, but only one of them made me feel loved the way that i wanted to be loved. I chose to believe that that person..... is Jeremy.

Heyo!
What's up? I'm good.... but enough about me.
I hope you enjoyed this jerstie one shot since it is the first one i have ever written.
Now idk if anyone reads these authors notes but if you have made it up till now comment 'whiskers' down below and I'll be sure to leave a reply...  also tell me what you think about this one shot or if you want me to do anything specific.
*I'm part of the Phandom that's why i said whiskers... but anyways.
Ilysm!
America!