Smile The Pain Away...

Chapter 19 : Flashback

Eliza

After i got over my break down which was uncalled for-- the tears; is what i'm talking about. My words-- i meant those. I can't get a break. Never have and never will. I guess i'll just get use to them and be prepared for the worst as if my life isn't crumbling down right in front of me.

Right now, I'm just at the park down the street from my old house. I left my phone at home or i guess i should say my 'uncle Aaron house' on purpose because i just wanna be alone. Its funny how my mother is dead and is still fucking up my life, all i could ask is what did i ever do to deserve all this?

 Is there something she didn't like about me? She could've killed me if that was the problem, but she wanted me to suffer for some peculiar reason. Was it the fact my father wasn't my father? Maybe that was the reason she pushed him away and fought for my custody because she knew he wasn't my father? It makes me angry that i can't get any answers because my last resource is off the earth.

 I stood up from my spot on the grass, Dusting my butt off i started walking towards my old house. I need to remember to come back and pack my stuff before they clean the house out and throw everything out unless my mother's family wants anything.

I walked past Chris house which didn't have any cars in the driveway indicating no ones home. He's probably with the guys, i hope they figure out whats wrong with Ty. Silence is seriously not his thing. I got to the front door and dug in my bag for my keys.When i came across the bright lime green one. i unlocked the doors and walked in.  Everything was still in the same order. nothing changed. This house feels odd to me now.

After all these years i thought i would never get away from Jesse. But now I'm miles away from him. I can't believe my mother committed suicide in this house over something petty. I feel like i don't have nobody left. I went up the stairs and went into my mother's room. The bed was still done. I looked in her closet and saw all the outfits that she use to let me play in when i was younger. I can remember those days like it was yesterday. 

Flashback

2000

Age 5

"Mommy mommy I'm a pretty princess!" i squealed making my mother smile and laugh. I spinned in the oversized dress that belonged to my mother. "Eli your a beautiful princess" she rephrased. I nodded and smile showing off my big gap; "Just like you mommy" I whispered touching her nose. she giggle before tossing me up in the air. I heard big feet sneak up on us then the monster attacked us. "Rawwr" Jesse yelled making me giggle. he was not scary at all. "Pretty princesses are not scared of monsters!" I said. he raised his eyebrow before grabbing me and putting me over his shoulder. "Ahhh put me down you!" He kept spinning around in a circle making me dizzy. He put me back on my feet and smiled at me. I pulled his mask off and ran. "Your not a monster anymore!"

"Imma get you Eli!" He yelled.

"No you wont!"

2002

Age 7

"You may now kiss the bride" i heard Jesse say. I looked at Johnny and he scrunch up his nose in disgust. "Eww girls have cooties!" . I frowned. "I do not! boys have cooties!" and we kept going back and forth. "Hey, i have an idea! how about we exchange animal crackers?" I said. he nodded before we ran off to our backpacks with our snacks. I heard my mom and Jesse talking so we ran back and stood up in front of each other. "Eli whats going on here?" My mommy smiled. "me and Johnny getting married. but Kissing is nasty so were exchanging snacks!" I beamed. she smiled then laughed. i love to see and hear those things. "You may exchange snacks!" Jesse said , me and Johnny did that. "I pronounce you husband and wife." he said closing the coloring book. Johnny was about to eat my animal crackers but i snatch them and ate them. "Hahaha!"

The last memory was funny, I miss Johnny, that was my baby and best friend He died of cancer a year after we gotten married; it hurted because that was my best friend and i loved him, i didn't want god to take him away from me so soon, but i guess everything has a reason? No.. I walked to Erica's dresser and picked her jewelry box. I took out all the compartments out a letter fell out. I saw that it was addressed to me.

Dear Eliza,

2008

Something told me to not put this in the mail for it to be sent to you after I'm deceased. I had a feeling that'll you will find this on your own when i've passed. Clearly if your reading this now you've found it as i felt you would. Few months ago, I made the worst mistake of my life. I should never let Jesse do that to you. but it was already done. Now you wondering why did i do it? I don't have a rightful clue why i did. I told Jesse that'll i'll leave him but that's not true i would never leave him i just-- i don't know.  I'm sorry. The reason i took the job that makes me be at home less is that i didn't want to see you, i love you but i didn't want to see that there's pain in your heart somewhere because i put it there. I'm deeply sorry and i hope you'll understand.There's also some other things i need to tell you , Your father isn't your father. Your uncle Jaylen is your biological father. At the time when i was dating Aaron, I use to go to his house for nights because me and my mother got into it. Aaron was sleep one night after a party and we were drunk, totally drunk. and i went into jaylens room. I didn't know what i was doing. It didn't hurt me because they looked just alike. When i found out i was pregnant with you it gave me joy that i was having a baby but when i thought of the father.. I couldn't believe it was my boyfirend's twin and not him. So i ended up lying and saying its Aarons because they were identical twins you looked like both of them. you were growing up so fast. And i loved that i got to spent time with you. Aaron started going out of state for businesses and i got sick of it. So i stopped seeing him and we broke up. I soon met Jesse, i love him i really do. he makes me happy. Aaron wanted to see you ; but i fought for full custody because he wasn't your real father and it hurted me that you were so attached to him. Since i gained full custody he only saw you so much maybe every other month. Jay wanted to see you, of course i let him but he didn't know you were his daughter only i.  and i wanted it to stay that way. Soon Aaron saw that his brother saw you more than him and i guess he was mad but i made a lie saying he goes out of town so much and he misses out. of course he believed it. I know i made allot of mistakes. but there's a will in your name. 400,000,000. I've raised a one hundred million of it myself and the other three- hundred million is from my father's will when he passed. I want you to have it.I know your wondering where this kind of money came from but it doesn't matter just know it's all for you baby girl.

I love you with all my heart.

-- your mother ; Erica

I felt a tear slide down my face. Only if i would've known this earlier. So the reason behind Jesse and i past remains unknown. this is complete bull.

_____

 Chris

" Mr.Brown it been a month, We really want to sign you with Jive records. But, we're not going to wait forever, We'll let you finish school. Please call back ASAP. Kelly" I sighed as i listened to the voice mail over and over. It all started when i was with the guys and we decided to fool around; I was singing for fun and somebody recorded it. Put it on YouTube. It wasn't anything to me. But until i got a call from Jive; i was happy, I'm probably going to be able to do something i always wanted to do. Nobody knows i sing except the guys and my mom. Eliza doesn't even know. I don't want to tell her I'm probably leaving because she going to broken. I can't leave her with everything happening and crumbling down. But this is my future we're taking about.

What to do... what to do...

___________________________

Its short for a reason.. one, Its all i had right now and i want to end it. this isn't the last chapter! I decided to split them up into sections. So when i get the rest typed up imma split them probably into 2 to three. I think this chapter really stupid ._. urghh. but..

P.S thanks for over 6.5k reads 440 votes and 106 comments ^_^

I'm still debating with a sequel.

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- kennedy