I Promise You

(41) He Could Be The One

Being grounded sucks. Also Keeley had moved back home to her parents. I had gotten used to having her around and I missed her already, but she belongs home. She was just a guest that stayed a little longer than they usually do. So here I was, alone in my room. Well almost alone, Puck was here. He was running from one side of the room to the other, with his toy in his mouth. I watched him for a while, because I seriously had nothing better to do than that. 

But after a while, mom called him and he hurried out my room. Guess it was time for his and Lindy's walk, that I'm also not allowed to participate in. So I had no other choice than to lie in my bed all day and do nothing. Sadly it was weekend as well and I knew all my friends would hang out in the park by the basketball court. I seriously started to regret getting into the car that day. If I wouldn't have, I wouldn't be grounded today and Evie would have never been almost raped. I know it's not my fault, but I still felt bad about it. Evie on the other hand, it didn't seem to have affected her at all, because she has only eyes for Devon. They were even talking about getting their own apartment in New York and live together while attending NYU. 

Me on the other hand, I was single again and still had Jake and Jesse on my mind. I just wanted them to finally get out of there! I will probably never see Jake again and I'm not sure how I feel about Jesse or better I didn't want to be sure about it. I still refused to accept my feelings for him. Maybe I should give up on boys completely. I still don't get how my mom was able to choose between Ryder aka dad and Fabian. 

Why don't I just ask her? I wondered myself. I climbed off my bed to find her in the living room "Weren't you taking Lindy and Puck for a walk?" I asked confused, since I remembered that while walking into the room. "Your dad wanted some guy time with Caleb" She said and I walked over to her and sat down beside her "What's wrong?" She asked. "I'm confused" I said. "About what?" She asked. "How were you able to choose between dad and Fabian?" I asked her. "I just knew that Ryder was the right one, no matter what other's told me" She said, but that didn't really help me.

"Okay, let's try this. He was like a best friend, just more. He might have bullied me, but when we became steps, he was easy to talk to and I could tell him things I couldn't tell Reese or Maia. I knew that he knew everything about me. Things I didn't even know about myself. Things Fabian didn't know about me. He helped me find the real me. I became stronger and more confident through him and no one else was possible to that. He showed me sides of myself that I didn't even know. He introduced me to the world of boxing. I would have never done that on my one and I still love it. Rudy's is like your dad and my place. He inspired me to find myself and helped me do that. I knew that he was always there for me, no matter what the situation was. I left him and he still didn't leave. He believed in me. He believed that I could do everything I want, if I just put my mind to it. He's the reason that I'm the person I am today and that's how I knew that your dad was the one, no matter the mistakes he had made in the past" She said and I smiled.

I know, some kids would find it disgusting if their parents would talk about each other like that, but not me. They were kind of like a modern version of Romeo and Juliet, just that they decided to fight for each other, instead of killing themselves to prove a point. 

"I think I know what you mean" I said and made a short break "Also I think you quoted something" "Just a little, but it's true. Just think about it and you know if they guy you like is worth it and please tell me it's not David!" She said and I nod "Of course it's not David. I was only with him because of Danielle and I regret that already. It kept me from figuring everything out. It was like the easiest way and I totally regret that. I need to face the truth and I know that. Thanks mom" I said and hugged her, kissing her on the cheek. "You're welcome Sweetie" She said and I walked back upstairs, thinking about what my mom had just told me. I compared both boys to what she said. Jake and Jesse.

One of them must be that, because if I like it or not, they are the guys I had the strongest feelings for. They both love or loved me maybe too much and both let me know it. Thinking about it, one memory came back into my mind. The night at the castle on the hill. How I told them goodbye in my own words and my own way.

"I need to say something" I said to get my friends attention "London was the biggest adventure of my life and I owe it all to you guys. I used to think the world was small, but all of you showed me how big it really is..." "Oh, she's getting emotional" Phoebe said. "Shut up Phoebe!" I told her off. "That is an emotion as well, so..." Phoebe said, but then finally let me talk.

"While being here I met so many great people, you guys, it's like I was living in a dream the past three months. It was an amazing dream" I said and laid back against Jake "You guys showed me that there is more to life than I knew" I said and turned around to face Jake. "I love you Jake" I said. "I love you Promise" He said and he pressed his lips onto mine. We deepened the kiss and my stomach was about to explode because of the butterflies inside of it.

I closed my eyes and concentrated one the things my mom had said. "Like a friend, but more. Check for both" I said out loud and tried to remember the second thing she said "Easy to talk to. Again, both" I said and laid back. "Knows everything about me... Both don't, but Jesse definitely knows the most about me" I said and smiled. "Helped me find the real me? Made me stronger? He definitely made me stronger, well Jesse did. Jake made me hide who I really was. Jesse made me feel things I have never felt before" I said and groaned.

"I guess I know now how I feel" I said and closed my eyes.