Her Maid of Honor (gxg)

Day 39 - Lacey

The tapping was almost calming as I listened to the sound of my nails echo off from the hood of my car. I can't believe I'm doing this, I thought to myself as the gravity of the situation I had – willingly – placed myself into, fully ran its course throughout my mind. Was I making the right decision? Or possibly the worst decision of my life?

As the questions ran circles inside my head, I took in a deep breath so that I could steady my thoughts in a new attempt to calm my racing heartbeat. Yes. This was the right decision. An overnight stay with Jessica at the lake house in order to check out the reception venue was the perfect way to ensure that she knew this wedding was going to happen, and that she knew there was no possible way that we were ever going to be a thing. In fact, there is no we. There never was.

I smiled at my firm resolution of this fact as I played out the future events inside my head. The friendly drive to Danny's lake house. The finalizing of details at the venue. The being overjoyed at the fact that I was getting married in just over a month. It was all going to be perfect. Absolutely perfect.

The sound of rubber against the paved side-street caused my body to turn automatically and face the muscle car headed directly my way. I straightened myself out as I waited patiently for Jessica to exit the vehicle. The sight of her stepping out of the car and removing her shades to reveal the hazel brown eyes that looked more green in the stream of sunlight that shone down on her from between the parted clouds, completely took my breath away.

Her messy brown hair swirled around her face in the light breeze that swirled around us both. Breathe Lacey. Breathe! I reminded myself suddenly as I realized I had been holding in my breath. Discretely, I exhaled and took in an seemingly steady – but realistically shaky – deepened breath, filling my lungs to the brim with oxygen before exhaling in a calming, mindful manner.

"Jessica!" I spoke with enthusiasm as I made my way over to her car, obviously adding in a little extra effort to seem as friendly as possible.

"Mayfield..." She replied, clearly taken aback by the tone of my greeting so I cleared my throat, and toned it down a notch.

"Thanks for coming on such short notice," I began to say, adding in, "Daniel would've come if he didn't have a meeting first thing tomorrow morning," I pretended to ignore the discomfort on her face as I forced myself to carry on. "So, thanks. It really means a lot to have a friend that'll take the time off, in the middle of the week no less, to come with me across the city."

The smile I played across my lips was nothing more than that; a play, feeling like the worst actress in the history of all times. I hated being this blunt with her, especially when I had to face her and watch each as emotion rolled off her as she tried desperately to play it all off like everything was fine.

"Yeah," she almost breathed out. "It's no prob."

She leaned in to the backseat of her car and pulled out a small leather bag, tossing it over her shoulder as she walked passed me and headed towards my car, waiting patiently for me to open the trunk. The second she was behind me, I released a shaky breath before plastering a smile back onto my lips so that I could turn around and face her. Once her bag was safely stored away in the corner of my trunk, I shut the front door and spun around to look at her.

"You can park your car in the lot. We'll use my space since we're taking my car. I'll show you where it is." Never breaking eye contact or faltering with my expression, I inched passed her between our cars and walked over to the passenger door, opening it up and sliding right in.

"Yeah, sure," was all I heard her say before the door gently closed beside me. Within the tinted shadow of her Mustang windows, I closed my eyes and took – yet another – deep breath to calm my nerves. Why was I so anxious? This was my idea after all...

We drove to my underground parking spot in complete silence as I watched every move she made from within my peripheral vision. This was going to be a long couple of days, I unwillingly realized. We parked the car, got out, and Jessica locked the doors behind us.

"The elevators over here," I pointed to the back of the lot, taking the lead and heading in the same direction I've walked a thousand times before – only somehow, this time felt different.

She trailed behind me, making sure to leave a good distance between the both of us, careful not to overstep her boundaries after – I assume – picking up on my clear stance on where it is we stood and what it was exactly that she meant to me. A friend.

The ride up the elevator was excruciating as every second felt like a million years in solitude standing beside a woman who was trying desperately – probably as hard as I was – to keep herself together. Once we stepped out of the metal box, we headed through the lobby and back into the sunny outdoors heading straight towards my car. We both slid in silently with her taking the wheel, driving around to the exit and sliding onto the road kicking off our 2 and a half – possibly 3 – hour drive to the lake. Yay...

"So..." Jessica began, finally breaking through the echoing silence, thank god. "What are we supposed to be doing down by Danny's lake house anyway?" Her tone was casual, but she still refused to lift her gaze from the paved road ahead.

"Um..." I said, trying to formulate our itinerary into actual words to say back to her. "Well, since we're having the wedding by the lake, we booked the reception venue not too far from where the wedding is taking place, so we're going to double check with the venue and make sure that all of the design plans are up to par and if we have to make any alterations, we can settle them right away." I smiled politely, "plus, I could use a second opinion," I laughed jokingly, aiming to emphasize the complete difference in our actual opinions.

She smiled at the comment and for the first time since we entered the car, I released a short sigh of relief. Maybe this wasn't going to be such a long trip after all.