Crooked (girlxgirl)

Prologue

The key to winning hide and seek isn't being able to find people, to guess where they are, to pretend that you have no clue they're smothered in the tree branches above you. It isn't looking up suddenly, and yelling, "Found you!"

Hide and seek isn't about seeking.

It's about hiding.

It's being able to sit in one place for hours upon hours. It's being able to continue waiting even after you know they've stopped looking for you. It's the thought that, "Maybe they didn't stop looking, maybe they're just trying to lure me out." So you stay put.

But then finally, finally, your legs start cramping and your stomach starts rumbling and your mind registers that they aren't looking anymore, they've gone to go sit on the couch with a slice of pizza while they watch cartoons, any thoughts of you completely gone.

It's crawling out, a feeling of triumph in your heart because you won the game, but a sickening feeling of loneliness in your gut because you know they don't care.

My sister did that to me once. My darling sister Jax. We were tiny then, barely made it to our mother's thighs, and she had been looking for me. I was so well hidden though, that she never found me. Instead, she gave up and decided watching television was more important than looking for her little sister.

I had cried for an hour, and didn't talk to her for three days. I made her so upset that we ended up bawling together while our parents watched with something close to amusement. That was when our parents still got along, when they would laugh at our adventures and exchange loving, knowing glances.

After that incident, Jax promised never to leave my side. And she didn't. Even when she was invited to her first "cool" party - which she turned down - and I had to stay home. Even when I spent the entire class period in the bathroom, shaking with fear. Even when I hid under her bed clutching my ears to try and block out our parents screams. Even then.

But it wasn't until the most mundane of incidents that Jax left my side. Not completely, of course, but I was no longer the most important thing in her life.

She had Rin now.

I couldn't be angry, because I loved Rin like she was an extra older sister I had to look out for me. If Jax was unavailable, I could just as easily call Rin and complain about my problems to her.

But it was unnerving, you know?

In a single day I went from being the center of someone's entire universe to being a mere planet in her solar system. I had held onto Jax my whole life, I needed her the way I needed oxygen; but it was moments like these when I realized I needed her much more than she had ever needed me.

Because of another of my many incidents, I had taken residence with Jax and Rin while our parents had gone to court. But I wasn't comfortable. The whole time I worried if I was getting on their nerves, or making Jax irritated because she couldn't spend quality time with her girlfriend while I was always constantly around.

I tried my best to leave the house as often as I could, but it was close to impossible at first since I couldn't drive and relied on others to come pick me up. And after the thing with our parents, Jax was hesitant to let me out of her sight.

I felt like a burden.

I hated the feeling.

But after spending such a long time with them, it was finally time for me to go to college, and I leapt at the opportunity. I may or may not have hurt Jax's feelings with my determination to leave as fast as possible, but I just couldn't take being a leech for any longer.

So here I am, sitting in the passenger's seat of Jax's car - well, it was Rin's, but Jax drove it enough for me to say it counted as hers too - and I stared solemnly at the looming building directly in front of us.

I had been so prepared, I had thought, and I had been confident that I could do this. But now that we were really here I wanted nothing more than to tuck tail and run into Jax's arms, never letting her go.

The college stood above us like a dark beacon, beckoning us forward with wide windows and what appeared to be an infinitely long campus, already buzzing with the quiet hums of brand new freshmen and excited seniors seeing their friends after an entire summer.

My head whipped to the side as Jax climbed out of the car, walking over to my side and opening the door for me. What was this? Was she trying to hurry me up and get me gone? The thought hurt, and I didn't budge, grabbing the seatbelt tightly like a lifeline.

"Come on Bea," she said with a gentle smile; whenever Jax smiled, it was miraculously soft, like her eyes. I was always the one that looked hard, cold, and unwelcoming. "We have to find your room and meet your roommate, right?"

I bit my lip and took her hand, nodding. I paused for a brief moment before letting go, memorizing the warmth and curvatures of the hand I had clung to as far back as I could remember.

That was the hand that stroked my hair as I cried myself to sleep; the hand that covered my ears so I wouldn't have to listen to the shouts of our parents outside the door; the hand that protected me from getting hurt; the hand that held and squeezed mine when I was nervous, like now.

It was time for me to climb out of the tree, and for Jax to stop looking.

It was time for our game of hide and seek to end.

So I let go.

I hope you guys enjoy this book even more than the previous one, Tipsy. Enjoy! Xoxo.