Gangster Boo : Love Is Sacrifice

Gangster Boo - Diecisiete

"I don't know. Hopefully, soon."

"I know my lil cousin ain't got a man before I do." 

"Oh my God ! Seniqua, I missed you, boo."

"I know. I was ready to get out that damn hell hole."

"I know you did. I got so much to tell you."

"She always got alot to tell somebody." Solange sneered.

"You know what, I really don't have time for your bullshit today."

"I really don't give a damn what you got time for." 

That was the first in many years that Solange has ever spoken back to Francesca. It caught her off guard and pissed her off more than it hurt her.

"Who the fuck you think you talking to?"

"Girls, stop arguing right now !" Their mother shouted.

"I'm talking to you, bitch. You think you the shit cause you got a degree and cause you got a man on your arms, but you ain't shit, but Montana's lil eat eat."

Hearing the name 'eat eat' placed vulgar images in her head from all the shit he put her through. Tears welled up in her eyes and she pushed past her mother to get to Solange. Her right her smacked her down to the ground with so much force.

"You don't know shit he put me through, so shut the hell up." 

Solange was now crying along with her and she tried to get up off the floor, "And you think that I haven't expierenced anything as vulgar as what he put you through?"

"I don't want to talk about it no more."

"You always trying to avoid the damn subject, when we both know that Montana ain't going no where. What he did to us ain't going no where, so stop acting like it ain't happen."

"I said I don't want to talk about the shit no more."

"You never do, Francesca. Do you want to know why? Cause you never accepted pain, or anything in that nature."

"Some people can't tolerate pain." She looked behind her at Seniqua, "Anyways, what you want to do today. I know you ready to hit the streets."

"Girl yes. First, I need a good meal and then I want to sip on a strawberry daiquiri at the club."

The two women giggled as Solange mugged them with hate.

"Go get dress and then we can head out."

"Alright, gimme thirty minutes."

Her mother shook her head and headed towards the kitchen with Francesca following behind. "Mama, I'm sorry for using profanity in your house."

"Are you really sorry?"

"Of course, I am. I wouldn't disrespect you like that."

"Francesca, I'm so disappointed in you it doesn't make sense. Solange is right about a couple of things she put on the table a few minutes ago. What that man did to you ain't gone never go away until you accept it. You can't keep walking around acting brand new when your dirty laundry is just as old as them teddy bears upstairs in your bedroom." 

"What are you trying to say, mama?"

"Stop acting like a little girl and start acting like a woman. I raised you better than this."

"How come I'm the one in the wrong? Taylor is damn near a prostitute and Solange is two seconds away from being in somebody's jail house. I did everything I could, and I mean everything to stay away from all that. You don't hear any bad news coming on my end cause that's how you raised me. You raised me the right way so what am I doing wrong?"

"You're not there for your sisters, that's what you did that was wrong. You can't hold down a man on one end and then try to toggle with us on the other end. I already den' told you that you can't burn the candles on both ends cause you gone wear yourself out."

"Mama, our relationships ain't going no where soon. They can't stand me right now. I don't know when we gone actually sit down and have a civilized conversation with one another, but I'm happy."

"And I'm tired God dammit ! I'm tired, Francesca. I can't keep playing these games with you all. I'm old and I'm wore out. I can't keep smiling and wishing that everything is okay because it's not. And it took me awhile to realize that, but I know now. You are going to have talk to your sisters. And you're going to sacrifice what ever it takes for love, but I'm not bout to listen to it no more. I'm moving out and I'm going down South with my family."

"Mama, no. You can't leave me."

"That's not your choice because I'm leaving tomorrow night. I"m leaving the house with your sisters and until y'all get it right I don't want to hear from you."

"Mama...." Francesca wiped away her tears and came closer to her mother for a hug, but she was shocked at the reaction she got from her. She moved away and laid against the kitchen counter.

"I'm ready to go." Seniqua interrupted, "Y'all alright in here?"

"We alright."

When you're trying to hold up two things in each hand, eventually one will fall. That's just how it is in the real world, so choose wisely because you never know what's the next move.