Nowhere

20 2 0
                                    

This was my third day.

My third day of doing completely nothing. Just sitting in my bed staring up at the ceiling.

My third day of this damn migraine. Of hearing those damn voices. Of seeing those damn color blur past my vision as I zone in and out.

I was hungry but I couldn't hold any food down. I knew something was wrong with me but I just didn't care.

I guess it was just that. There comes a point in everyone life that they just don't care anymore. Its like every little bad thing has to happen before you finally realize that nothing is worth it anymore. There's no point in trying anymore, so why not just give up.

Why not? I took a deep breath. What was I thinking? I couldn't just give up. Placing my hand on my stomach I blinked back the tears and sighed.

I had something else to live for. I had a little being to care for. And maybe, just maybe it will love me back.

¥¥¥¥¥¥

"What?" I ripped the front door open quickly as the pounding continued. I though maybe I could ignore it and the person would go away, but that was until I realized it was Tim pounding on the door.

Fückïng ässhöle.

"Why haven't you been answering you phone?" Tim all but shouted, an icy glare fixed at me.

I rolled my eyes and stepped to the side letting him in. "Why does it matter to you?" I mumbled out low enough for him to bot hear me but of course he did.

"Because were best friends Faith." 'Büllshït' I glared at the colors in the corner of the hallway. The red standing out in the shadows. "Of course imma care about your well being and what the hëll are you staring at?"

He turned behind him to look of his shoulder but didn't see anything. "Are you taking your pills?" He asked softly.

Of course just checking on me for those pills. "Yes" I answered without hesitation and moved into the living room. Tim following closely behind. "Where's Jordan?"

"Waiting in the car."

"Why? Do you think I'm unstable, that I'll attack." I went at him like I was going to hit him.

I didn't think much of it at first. In fact I font even know where the action came from. It was like something was taking control of my body and made me lunge for him.

But none of that mattered. Nothing did but his action to it. In the matter of seconds I saw him flinch then completely compose himself and went at me.
I stared up at him from the ground, my back aching and my head throbbed. My mouth gaped open in shock and surprise as he stared down at me with wide eyes. "Faith... I-I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me."

He went to help me up but I flinched away from him and got up myself, my back facing him. "I want you out of my house." I could tell he was shocked but he made no move to leave. Blinking back the tears I turned to face him the glare back on my face. "I want you. OUT. OF. MY. HOUSE."

With each word I pushed him to the door his back hitting it harder then I intended it to. "F-faith please."

I shook my head and walked away from him. After a couple of minutes I hear the door open and slam close.

I guess that was when the flood gates opened and I sunk to the floor, tears spilling from my eyes at everything that has happen.

I knew those pills were fückïng with my head but I didn't know they were this bad. Everything seemed as if its changed. The world kept spinning, yeah, but at the same time it felt like it stop. Making it look completely different to me.

Newer.

More...open.

¥¥¥¥¥¥

I've been sitting here staring at the clock on the wall.

And I've been layin here praying, praying she wont call.

Its just another call from home, you get it and be gone.

"Fückïng sad songs." I shut the radio off and held my head in my hands.

Its been two weeks.

Two weeks since I last took a pill.

One week since I last saw Tim.

Three days since I last saw them.

At first I didn't know what the hëll was going on. I looked like shït and I felt like it too, but that didn't matter because they told me to get a move on with my life.
I guess they hated the fact that I didn't nothing anymore. I didn't even go to the gym anymore. I missed it, yeah, but I just couldn't find the motivation to do anything anymore.

They talked to me. Red and green colors took my vision as the whispers increased. They told me of how much dislike they had for the unborn child in me. I ignored them for the most part.

But something really did caught my attention. Somethings sound odd and bazar, bit I couldn't listen to then, they were just a figment of my imagination, right?

It didnt matter. None of it did.

There was dead squirrels in my front yard though. I laughed out when I first saw them. The whispers told me about them but I didn't believe them at first and now I do.

It was weird.

They said they were hear to help me, guide me down the right path. That I shouldn't have wavered and left. I had to promise them that I wouldn't take the pills again and also to never talk to the wolfs again.

Of course I had no idea what they were talking about but I agreed nonetheless.

The only problem I had with them was the killing part. They explained how my unborn child had to go. Nothing good will come from it.

That's when I stopped listening. I guess that's why I was listen to the music.

I guess that was why all the pain pills were gone from the bottle

I guess that's why my finger are numb. The blood pooling around my feet, the line as clear as day leaking, dripping down from my wrist.

I guess that's why the razor is still deep into my skin, creating another line of red.

********

Ok I am so sorry for this chapter. I was gonna go one way but then it ended up going this way.

Sorry I guess that was why I named the chapter Nowhere because well it was going nowhere.

His MateDonde viven las historias. Descúbrelo ahora