Unseen | ✔

4 | FEELINGS

"Don't cry in front of them, please just fight back the tears. Please just don't let them see me cry..." —Unknown

[4]

I HEAR SCREAMS and bolt awake with sweat dripping down my face. Then they stop, and that is when I realise that I am the one screaming. Flashes of their faces vanish before my eyes.

Tears stream down my face as I sob loudly into my pillow. Make it stop. I hate crying, and I just don't want these nightmares anymore. Why doesn't anyone hear me? I thrash my legs around my bed and silently scream.

Save me. Help me. Take me away.

My cries slowly go away. I walk over to my wardrobe, grab my mother's old coat and slip it on, her smell faint but still there. I walk over to my mirror and pull out tissues to wipe the tears from my face.

When I look up, I stare at my reflection. Bruises cover the whole of my face. Tears fill my eyes again, but I quickly blink them away. I don't deserve to cry.

I grab my phone from my bedside table and look at the time.

3:15 AM.

Barely even got three hours of sleep. I'm not tired though, I can't sleep. I silently open my window and reach my arm out to the tree. I shut my window the best I can before climbing the rest of the way down.

I stuff my hands in my pocket and walk away from the house that I sleep in, but also haunts my dreams.

Mama and Papa would be disappointed in me for hiding all the time. They would have told me to just face my fears and do the one thing I must do.

Get help.

I'm not going to though. I deserve every part of this. If I had not been screaming and crying that one night, I would still have my parents with me. I'd probably be as normal as a teenager could get. My thoughts would not be on protecting myself all the time. Maybe I would even have had a boyfriend.

I don't care about those things though. I never have and never will. I only have one wish.

To be saved.

I curse in frustration and just scream. No houses, no people. Just the rocky cliffs and me. I scream and cry, a mix of both.

I just don't care anymore. I no longer want to live. I'm no longer going to have to put up with Gary and David. I will join my parents. I cry as I feel something inside me relax. I'm going to be rescued.

Except, by no angel, just me. This is how it's meant to be.

I walk over to the cliff edge and look down. It will be painless. I will save myself from everything; I am going to end these demons inside me. I take one last look at the cliff edge.

That's when I see him.

Everything inside me freezes in fear. He knows, but the look in his eyes tells me otherwise. Curiosity.

"What are you doing?" Adam asks. I shiver at his hard gaze.

He just ruined my chance to make peace with myself. Why is he even here?

"What are you doing?" I throwback. He narrows his eyes at me. I scoff and turn back around and stare back down at the river below. I would be at peace by now.

I let out a shaky breath and sigh.

"I was going for a walk, you?" He asks. I flinch.

'Don't lie,' I tell myself. I always end up doing just that though. It is the easiest way out of everything.