Ghost In The Snow

Chapter 31: Hands

Trigger warnings: sex is mentioned, panic attack, unpleasant water experience

I opened my eyes. The first thing I saw shocked me a bit. Like, it's not every day you wake up, staring directly into your ex's wide eyes and big smile.

He didn't even say good morning, him Frank. He was just lying there and staring at me, smiling like a creep. I giggled, not sure if because of nervousness or Frank's cute face. "Good morning", I whispered. "Morning", he said in his raspy morning-voice. "It sure is a morning", I muttered and shuffled around, so I was lying in a bit more comfortable. I removed the sheets from my stomach, it was a hot morning. Frank giggled. "What are you giggling a-", I asked, but realised I took my shirt off last night at the lake, and I didn't put it on again.

I don't think Frank had ever seen me, like, half naked. But that wasn't really why he was giggling.

While keeping the creepy, yet beautiful, eye contact with Frank, I slowly pulled the covers over me again. He totally laughed his head off because of that. "Did you forget your shirt in the forest?", Frank asked quietly, quickly looking around. "No, why would I do that?", I asked and furrowed my brows, trying to look innocent. "I dunno, I heard you and Gerard making noise outside last night." He broke the eye contact, started chuckling again with a big grin on his face.

My eyes went wide. Those fucking stones I stepped on. And everything else Gerard and I did, but... "Dude!", I gasped at Frank, who was laughing his ass off. "We didn't-!" I knew I couldn't lie about this with that dirty minded boy. Sometimes I just wanna scream at him. "I swear to god...Just don't tell Ray and Mikey. I'm sure they won't enjoy the fact", I sighed and looked away from Frank. I laid down on my back, stared at the blue ceiling. "So you actually did it?", Frank asked in a more serious tone. "Mhm", I mumbled. I popped back up on my elbow, looked at Frank. Again just staring with a grin on his face. "Was it good?", he asked. My jaw dropped and he laughed again, trying to choke his laughter in a pillow. "Better than the sex we had", I whispered to him. Frank furrowed his brows. "We didn't have sex?" "No, exactly", I whispered and continued: "This was my first time, so I don't have anything to compare it to, right." "I see", Frank said calmful and laid down. I don't know why Frank was so obsessed with sex, and I don't even think it was because he had much experience, if any. He was probably just curious. He wasn't an expert, a sexpert. "Why is this even funny to you? Like if Gerard and I really had sex, which we did, and yeah..", I asked him. Frank chuckled, "I dunno, imagining Ge-", Frank choked, "knowing Gerard has had sex with someone, you, is just funny." He looked away, scratching his cheek. "It's kinda surreal."

I almost choked as well.

I decided not to say something though.

"Are people awake?", I asked Frank casually, but Mikey was the one who answered. "Sadly I heard what you were talking about", he muttered and sighed. I felt my chest explode. Oh my god, that poor boy. He just heard about his brother's sex life, basically. Why is Mikey always there in the wrong time and place? Things really fuck up for him.

Frank looked at me, trying to hold back a laugh. He then screamed of laughter, "fuck!" He rolled around under his dog-blanket. "Mikey you're so- arhhh!" Frank threw his head back on his pillow, still chuckling at the whole situation.

"What's happening?", I heard a mumbling whisper. Ray sat up and ran both hands through his big hair. He also rubbed his eyes before looking around. "Good morning, Frank", he mumbled. Frank just smiled in response.

"Good morning, Te-are you not wearing a shirt?", Ray asked and blinked a couple of times. "Uhm", I mumbled and pulled the covers around me again. "Maybe not", I answered quietly, and of course, Frank laughed again. When did he not laugh, honestly? It was now I noticed the black stripe under Ray's nose. The weirdly shaped moustache, obviously drawn with a black marker.