Make Me Stay [Zarry AU]

14. Emptiness

It had been 5 months. 5 months since Harry had left the house, 5 months since Zayn had gotten his 'freedom' back and 5 months since he had last talked to his father.

The night Harry left, he thought he had gotten his freedom back. That night when he was about to take the first sip of his beer in a local bar, his father called. He didn't want to pick up, knowing his father gonna yell anyway. But he was too happy to care the about the yelling, so he picked up the call, but he was shocked to hear his father's calm voice.

"Hope you'll enjoy your new life. Bye."

That was the last time he had heard his father's voice and if he's honest to himself, he missed it. He missed his father's yelling, his call in every weekend. He hated this silence.

Looking at it now, he hated manythings. He hated waking up without hearing the sound of the shower from the room beside his.He hated the empty kitchen every morning he walked downstairs after getting ready for the University, so he never had breakfast in the house anymore. He hated the silence in the car while driving to the University. He missed being yelled at on his choice of music. He hated returning to an empty house. He hated no being able to smell the delicious dinner from downstairs while he'd be doing his projects upstairs. He missed making the salad between his mini breaks.

Sure, he'd have someone every night present at his doorstep, to give him 'company' but somehow, he felt incomplete.

"Baby, faster and harder, please", they would moan under him but he'd lost his interest. He didn't completely enjoy sex anymore. It was like, as if, something was missing, something he couldn't put his finger on and that was driving him crazy.

Sometimes, he'd find himself playing classical music in car and humming to the tune. Every night, after bidding his 'companies' goodbye and having take out dinner, he'd often find himself watching the episodes of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. but with missing the presence of someone beside him with 1 meter gap.

So, after 4 months of his 'freedom', one night, at 2 A.M, he had found himself in his bedroom. In front of a big canvas. Drawing a mop of chocolate brown curls on some white pillows. That was the first time he was smiling a real smile,  in this 4 months. A smile, that reached his eyes.

At 4.15 A.M, he gave the painting a last stroke and backed away a little to look at his work. He smiled big, seeing he had done quite a good job, painting him.

He had painted his exact pic when he used to be under him, at 11 P.M. , looking at him with those big green eyes behind those glasses. His brown curls spread wide on the pillow while his eyes held so many questions. He had only painted his face, and he didn't forget to add the freckles on the side of his nose. He loved them.

Zayn smiled at the pic but soon that smile turned to a frown. He never noticed how sad his eyes looked. He never noticed, how beautifully green his eyes actually were and he never noticed how much love they held until now. He frowned and after cleaning his brushed, he walked back to his bed. He fetched out his phone to see no miss calls or text from him but many from other people who wanted one night with him or some 'friends' who needed money urgently. And for the first time, Zayn wanted him to break his promise to not bother him anymore. Zayn wanted him to bother him, to call or text him. It had been 4 months and he wanted to listen to his voice so bad. It's like, he needed to listen to his voice but he knew, he couldn't. Sighing he switched off his phone and closed his eyes. And for the first time in 4 months, he slept good, dreaming about a certain curly haired boy, looking at him with big green eyes behind those big geeky glasses.

***
It had been 1 month since Zayn had first drawn his picture and 5 months since he had left. He had hung the picture on his bedroom wall and for some unknown reasons, since then, he had been sleeping good. He didn't even bring anyone anymore in the house
He didn't even want to sleep around anymore. For some unknown reasons, he wanted nothing more than to hold the curly lad in his arms and never let him go.

But things don't always go like in the way we want. So there Zayn was, sitting on the sofa in his living room with a signed divorce papers from Harry in front of him, on the coffee table. He didn't know why, but anger built up inside him.

He took out his phone from his jeans pocket and dialled his number, Harry's number. He needed to know why he had sent this divorce papers.

'The number you're calling does not exist anymore.' The phone operator said and it took all of Zayn's to not throw his phone on the nearest wall. He sat down on the couch, head in his hands, eyes closed. His mind drifted back to the day Harry left.

One minute, sending me papers? What do you mean?", Zayn asked looking at Harry's back.

"I'm leaving this house, you and this marriage. I'll send you the divorce papers soon. You can have your old life back and bring as many people here you want, don't worry about your father, I'll talk to him. Think it of a gift to give me my baby. Have a happy life ahead."

He didn't know why but tears brimmed in his eyes at the memory. And what hit him like a tons of brick was the conversation between him and Harry about those papers.

Abort it. I'm not ready for a child."

"I won't."

"Typical nerd!" ,  "You know what? Fine! But don't you dare give that thing my name, you are on your own. Don't expect any help from me either."

"Fine. And I don't want any help from you either. You don't want me to give my baby your name right? Okay, I won't. After he or she born, I'll send you the papers and you'll just have to sign on them to give me the full custody."

"Fine. It's not like I'd want a child with a freak like you anyways.",

"No no no no", he mumbled to himself.

"No no no... I need to find him." He whispered to himself before leaving the house. He hurriedly got into his car and drove off. The unsigned divorce papers still laying on the coffee table.

"I'm gonna find you Mr. Malik and that's a promise.", wiping his tears, he said, as he drove off to find his husband.

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I'm extremely sorry if  it was not up to your expectations babes :(
I just came back from the wedding and wrote it in a hurry.

Dedicated to: zarryslovrrr SamanthaAMMY piggypie213 Shay_Styless condoningcaitlin CamiHazzaStyles and all the readers and voters. I love you all :* :* :* ♡♡♡♡