Not about Angels

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A/N:
This part may go along with the song, depending how fast you read, but this song is shorter than the actual words. Just a heads up. I suggest listening to it while reading but then you'd have to read fast. Anyways, enjoy.

~~~

A forceful knock on your front door startled you awake. You swung your legs over the side of the bed and went to the front door.

A policeman was standing there, a solemn look on his face.
"I'm sorry to interrupt but would you happen to know who Joe Sugg is?" He asked.
"Uh, yes. He's my boyfriend."
"Oh, well ma'am, I'm sorry to have to tell you this was but your boyfriend is dead."
Your breath caught in your throat. It felt like you were just punched in the gut.
"I'm sorry, pardon?"
"Your boyfriend, Joseph Sugg, he was found this morning. He wasn't alive."
You could feel tears forming in your eyes. You were going to break any minute, but weren't going to cry in front of this guy.
"I'm so sorry to have to tell you like this. There didn't seem to be any other relatives in the near area." He apologized.
"Oh. Okay. Thank you." You said. He turned and walked away as you closed the door.

Then it hit you. Like a million bullet shots. Like a glass plate under so much pressure, it shattered. You slid down the door, crying. Endless tears streaming down your face. Whatever energy you had gained from sleeping had completely drained out of you.

You were the only one in the house.
You sat there for a while, just crying. There was a presence missing from your life that should have still been there. You would have believed it to.... if not for what you had just heard. Joe hadn't come home last night. He went out with the boys and you'd fallen asleep before he'd come home.

After whatever tears had been inside were gone, you just sat there. You didn't look at your phone. Maybe you didn't need to.

According to the policeman, you were the only one who knew about Joe. Maybe you should keep it that way. If it got out on YouTube, that would spread like a wild fire. But no. Zoe deserved to know too. You grabbed your phone and sat down in the middle of the room.

You rang Zoe's number. It went to voicemail.
"Hey Zo. It's Y/N." your voice was shaking but you weren't trying to hide it. "Please call me back as soon as possible. I need to talk to you." You said, crying and hanging up the phone.

Zoe called back 5 minutes later.
"Y/N, you called?" Zoe said into the phone.
"Oh Zoe." You sobbed.
"Y/N! Are you alright."
"It's.... it's Joe." You blubbered into the phone.
"What? What about Joe?"
"He.... he's dead."
Silence was on the other end, and then there was just sobbing. Sobbing from Zoe, and you.
You both stayed on the line, needed the presence of each other.

Then you heard another voice. Alfie's.
"Zo? Zoe? You alright?" He asked, his voice filling with worry more and more as he spoke.
"It's Joe," you heard her say "Joe is dead."
"I'm so sorry beautiful." Alfie said after a moment. Again, sobbing and no communication.
"What do we do?" You ask finally after 2 minutes of silence from all of you.
"Well. If we can help it, let's not publish it. The public will find out soon enough." Alfie reasoned.
"Okay. Well, take care of yourself Y/N." Zoe said through the phone after another minute. It just felt good to sit and talk to someone even if no one was actually talking. The presence was needed.
"Thanks Zoe. Thanks Alfie. You take care of yourself too. Tell whoever you need to. I won't tell anyone unless I need to either."
"Love you Y/N." Zoe said as cheerfully as she could at that moment.

You hung up and the air was dead again.
You walked downstairs, went into the room you and Joe shared, tears running down your face. It was okay to cry.
You opened the closet and saw Joe's faded light grey hoodie he would always wear. You could picture him in it now.
It was faded, worn down, but it was all Joe.
You threw it on over your tank top. Still felt the same.
What would you do now? All you wanted to do was cry, but it wasn't the same as a breakup.

Then the doorbell rang. You didn't want to answer it, but did anyways. Standing at the door was Jack, Caspar, Josh and Oli. They stood there, awkwardly. You left the door open and walked away. They followed you, looking awful.

"Look, Y/N," Jack said, breaking the silence "I'm so sorry. I heard what had happened."
You just stood there and cried.
Caspar ran up to you and gave you a gigantic hug that you wished would last forever. "It's going to be okay." He whispered down to you.
Josh was next. Taller than Caspar it was awkward.
Then Oli. "Look Y/N, if you need anything, I'm here."
Then Jack. "See Y/N, do you know what happened?"
"No. I was hoping you did." You said. After all, they were the ones who was last with him.
"Oh. Well after the party he said he was going to go back home." Jack said.
"Well, if we don't know anything, would other people?" Oil asked.
"It's all over the internet." Josh said.
"That's great." You said with as much sarcasm as you could muster. "I talked to Zoe earlier. We both said we would stay quiet about it for a bit. Let things run their course on YouTube and Instagram and wherever else. You decide what you want to do."
"What do you want to do?" Jack asked.
"What are you supposed to do? You don't clean out the wardrobe right away or anything. I'm just going to leave it for now."
"Okay, then we'll be on our way." Caspar said, understanding you needed space.
"Remember, we're here for you." Oli said, leaving last. "If you need anything, just call." And then closed the door.

The day dragged on endlessly. You had gone back to your room and laid on the bed. You needed Joe. Soon enough you drifted off to sleep.

Y/N. I'm alright. Someone said to you.

Hello? Did someone say something? Where are you? You yelled out.

Y/N. You turned around and there he was. Joe Sugg. You wanted to run up and hug him, but you couldn't. Something wasn't letting you move. Joe?

A smile appeared on his face, something so soft, yet so sad.

Why? Why did you have to leave? You cried out, tears rushing down your face.

It was an accident. I wish I could have stopped it. And I wish I was there right now. With you. In real life. The figure of Joe said.

Can you please tell me where you are? What happened? You begged.

I love you. I hope you know how much I love you, Y/N. Joe explained.

But what happened? You asked.

I'm always going to be there for you. It might not be a physical presence but I'm there. Don't forget that. I love you Y/N. Came the reply.

What happened to you? There was no response. Hello? Please!

He had vanished.

I need you.
You turned in circles for ages.
I love you too. You whispered and then woke up.

~~~
A/N:
I'm sorry this part was really sad. The next one may be happier. Thanks for reading. Feel free to comment, vote, follow and share! If I'm notified I'll check out your account!

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