Sound The Bugle

27

It's been two weeks since the accident. Two weeks that Nikki has been in hospital. Two weeks since her life fell apart, and what was left of mine trickle away in the streams of tears that have cascaded down my cheeks more times than I can count.

Today, Nikki is coming home. To my home. Our home.

I was scared when she told me that she wasn't going home unless it was with me, her parents were reluctant. She was adamant. 

As soon as I told her that I want her with me, which is God's honest truth, I saw one tiny element of spark return to her eyes. It was only for a split second, but it was there. That is what I want for her. I love her. I love her more than life. 

It's time to move on, it's time to conquer my demons, it's time to fight against the weights that are pulling me the the bottom of the ocean I'm drowning in. Life.

"Daniel?" Comes Nikki's tired voice as she reaches out for my hand. I allowed her tiny fingers to wrap around my rough hand. "Are you okay?" She whispers.

We've asked each other this question over a thousand times each since it happened. We've answered it a thousand times. We've answered with the words 'Yes, I am, darling.' Each time. Although we always know that's not the truth. We both know the real answer is : 'No, I'm not, but I've got to be.'. We never say that.

"She never had a name, Nikki." I sigh. I don't know what made me say that. "Baby, she needs a name." I look up, the right corner of my mouth raises, as do my eyebrows, in a half smile. If you can call it that.

Nikki's soft, brown eyes, crinkle at the corners as her lips form a smile. "I always thought she was a Katherine..." Nikki says quietly. Glancing down at our interlocked hands. "She was pure." Her eyes return to mine and I smile. I really smile for the first time in weeks.

Katherine.

 "I'll never forget her, Nikki, our Katherine. Our gorgeous Katherine." Around my smile, which Nikki is now mirroring, tears are once again forming in my eyes. Nikki is crying too. 

I stand up and place my hands on her cheeks. "You're my world, and I'm so sorry for everything. I'll never let you down, and this time I mean it." I lean down and place a firm kiss on her forehead. My lips linger there for a few seconds before I step back.

"Daniel, we must never be afraid to talk about her, Katherine. We may cry, but she's our daughter." Nikki's voice is rough and croaky and full of pain, but every time Katherine is mentioned, it's almost as if part of the heavy layer of suffering falls away. With each time I speak of her, or Nikki does, it's easier to breathe. It hurts that little bit less.

We stand there for a bit, it might have been two minutes, it might have twenty, but we stood there. We stood... well she sat and I stood... but we shared each others peaceful company until the calming bubble was popped by the opening of the room door.

Richard and Darcy enter with smiles on their faces. "Hello, sweetheart." Chirps Darcy. "Hello, Daniel!" She smiles warmly.

When I first met her, I remember feeling a bit scared of her. She looked sharp, pristine, clean cut. Not like me. Nonetheless, I've grown to love her a lot. She's a great mother to Nikki, a great wife to Richard, and these past two weeks, she has been a great confident to me.

Richards is very much a 'what you see is what you get' kind of man. I really, really like him. He's honest, loyal and brave. I'm going to take the time to really listen to him. He could teach me a lot about myself.

"How are you, darling?" Richard asks Nikki, he goes over to her, and strokes his hand briefly over her strawberry blonde hair.

"I'm alright thank you, dad." She smiles, sort of, at him and he turns to me.

"How are you, son?" He asks me as he shifts to face Darcy and opens Nikki's bag for her as Darcy messily folds her cloths and pushes her toiletries into the bag.

"I'm okay, thank you, Richard." I say to him. "Okay, are we ready to go?" I ask as I watch Darcy put in the final item of Nikki's few clothes in to the bag.

"I can't wait to be out of here, Daniel. Take me home, please." She looks up at me, the same tired look in her eyes that are encased by dark circles, brought on by exhaustion.

She still has a few bruises, a few cuts and scrapes and her body is a bit sore, but she's well on the mend physically. Mentally... well we both have a long way to go.

Slowly, I move over to and hold out both of my large hands for her. Nikki reaches out for my open palms, and places her own in mine. After a second of gaining the courage to try and stand on her sore legs, she rises, putting a lot of her light weight onto me. In a sharp motion, her hands latch onto my forearms for more stability.

"Are you okay? We can get you a wheelchair if that is easier, darling?" I ask her warmly, but careful not to make her feel weak.

Nikki shakes her head. "No, I can walk." She lets out a breath and then takes a deep breath. "Please, lets just get out of here." She begs.

We do just that. Darcy and Richard walk on ahead, him carrying Nikki's bag, and her holding open doors for us. It's a slow hobble to the exit, but I'm proud of her. She's trying so hard to regain control of her life. With my arm around her waist for support, we leave the hospital, ready  to continue with our life.

I take Nikki to my silver Mazda that's waiting for me in the car park. 

She freezes. She looks at the car. She looks at me. Daniel, I don't want to get in it. Is what she wants to say. It's not said, but I know it and so does she.

Nikki surprises me. She's going to do it. She's going to face her fear, the fear that came from losing our Katherine. With a shaky frame and heavy steps, Nikki goes to the car door and I open it. Slowly, she slides in. 

I love her. I'm proud of her. Of her bravery. Her control.

I hurry around to the driver's side and slip in next to her. I start the car. I feel her nerves. You can do this, babe. Is what I think. She will do this.

Just as I'm about to pull out of the car park, I look up and am faced with Richard looking down into the car. They're concerned about Nikki being with me, but I'll do right by her from now on.

He mouths three words. "Look after her."

With my life, Richard.