Sound The Bugle

8

Nikki Dawson

I sit at my desk twiddling my thumbs. Daniel's appointment is next and I'm nervous to see him.

It's been a week since I nearly kissed him and it's all that's played over my mind. How he leaned down so close then pressed his full lips to my cheek.

To be honest, I don't even know if he's going to be in the waiting room. I'd be surprised of he did show up to be honest. And part of me hopes that he won't be there, I'm scared to face him.

After gathering all of my courage up, I stand up and walk down the dim corridor from my office to the waiting room.

My eyes scan the room for his handsome face, it's not there. Swallowing thickly, I pretend I don't know.

"Mr Cooper?" I ask, looking around the room with a false smile on my face. I have to pretend. If for one moment someone thought I was this close to a patient and involved in an unprofessional relationship, I'd be sacked.

People look at me with blank faces and I shake my head, beginning to turn around. Then the beep of the automatic door sounds and I turn back to see Daniel rushing in.

He composes himself and looks around the room. When he spots me, he smiles a very small smile.

"Ah, Mr Cooper, you're here." I smile as politely as possible. "Come with me." I turn around and walk back to my office as confidently as possible, but that's hard when I can hear his heavy foot falls behind me.

We enter my office and I go round to my side of the large, mahogany desk and I seek refuge from Daniel's intensity in my massive leather chair.

Daniel shuts the door behind him and sits in the chair opposite me, crossing his arms in front of him. Defensive. I take a mental note.

Now I take the time to fully asses him. His eyes are hard, however there is something a little less cold about them. He's not looking at me like I'm a threat anymore and he's not as tense as normal, but he's still tense.

"I didn't think you'd come today." I say, trying to keep all shakiness out of my voice.

"I always stick to plans." Daniel frowns a little, but he wipes it off his face quickly and does his best to relax a bit. "Sorry I was late, traffic was bad." He apologises and I shake my head.

"Don't worry about it, Daniel." I smile as best I can, crossing my legs. Daniel is watching me so intently.

He shuts his eyes briefly as if he's clearing his head and then he opens them, a tight smile almost visible on his lips.

"The nightmares are getting better." He says surprisingly calmly, but his arms are tense. "I think you were right about talking about them." He diverts his eyes from me and looks at the floor.

"But you still have them?" I ask as I pick up my pen and begin to chew on the end. Daniel seems a lot happier to talk today.

"Yes, I do. Every night. But they're not as graphic." He rubs the back of his neck then brings his arms back in front of him.

He says that he still has them every night, but they're better. I dread to think how bad they used to be. Imagine having to deal with that every night for eight years...

"What was last night's about?" I ask carefully, scared that I'm going to crack the egg shells I'm walking on.

Daniel looks at me again, anger in his eyes, but he washes it put quickly. "You." He says simply then lowers his head once again.

"What do you mean me?" I ask, utterly confused as I begin to chew faster on the end of my poor pen.

"It was you that I.... That I... held hostage." His chest visibly rises faster and he looks terrified. While I've know him, I've seen him scared and nervous a few times, but this is the first time he has ever looked truly vulnerable.

"Held hostage? What do you mean?" I do my best to pick up the eye contact again, but he doesn't allow it.

"I held a young child at gun point to force them to free me. Family means too much to them so I knew they'd let me go." Daniel's eyes are moist as I'm sure horrific memories are filling his mind.

"You did what you had to do." I try and reassure him, but he looks at me in a way that terrifies me and I shrink back in to my chair.

Then he stands up and slams his hand on the desk and it shakes, making me flinch. "No! I'm a monster! He was just a child and I held a gun to his head!" Daniel nearly shouts and do nothing but try and keep calm.

After a few seconds, he turns and paces up and down the office, each time he faces me, he shoots me a glare. And then he leans against the far wall and his body begins to shake. He's crying.

I know that it's probably not a good idea, but I stand up and move towards him carefully. Without thinking, I place one hand on his shoulder and Daniel flinches under me, but I don't move.

"I'm a monster, Nikki." He whispers, his voice thick. I lean against his solid back, one arm over his shoulder and the other around his waist.

"No you're not. Don't say that. You did what anyone would have done to survive." I say against his back. He tries to pull away from me, uncomfortable at the contact, but I don't let him.

Daniel is a tough man, a brave man, and a proud man. It's got to have been so hard for him to accept help and tell me his story.

He begins to stand up beneath me, so I remove my arms from him and step back. He turns to face me and studies my face intently for a minute. "You don't understand how much you have helped me, Nikki."

I shake my head and smile at him. "I think you need some fun." I look up at him and raise my eyebrows. Daniel frowns at me confused. "Lets go out tonight." I say without thinking. I could be sacked for this.

Daniel shakes his head. "No." He says sternly. "Just no, Nikki." He moves round me and sits back in the chair, folding his arms in front of him.

"Daniel..." I begin, but he holds up his hand in attempt to silence me. "No, let me talk." I order."You need to work at leaving that part of your life behind you, Daniel."

He turns around and looks at me. "You think you know what I went through, you don't have a clue." His voice has returned to it's normal icyness and I flinch back slightly, but compose myself quickly and move round to my chair.

"When was the last time you had fun, real fun?" I ask him, crossing my legs, Daniel's eyes follow the movement as he thinks. Nearly a minute passes, but he doesn't answer me. In the end, he leans back in the chair and sighs, resting his head against the back of the chair.

"I'll be at Legacy tonight. If you decide to take my advice and have fun, I will see you there." With that, Daniel stands up at storms out of my office, slamming the door behind him. I've clearly hit a nerve.