Sound The Bugle

13

Daniel Cooper

Slamming my phone down on the kitchen counter, I growl angrily. No answer again!

It's been four days since I was at Nikki's house and the only thing I've had from her is a text saying, 'been busy at the office, I'll talk to you later xx' .

But that was four days ago and I'm worried now. Maybe she wants some time to think, but five days?

I walk through in to the living room and sit down on the sofa, frowning at my turned off TV. I should really be asleep as I was on a night shift last night, but I can't sleep. I'm too worried about Nikki.

I'll stop by her office at half five later, after her last appointment. I have to know she's okay.

****

I sit in my car, drumming my fingers against my steering wheel as I look at the building in front of me. Looking at the time on my car clock, I begin to chew on the inside of my mouth.

5:28pm

I stop tapping, but wrap my hands around the steering wheel so tight that the tendons in my arms stand out.

5:29pm

Maybe I should go and wait for her to come to me? I don't want her to think I'm being to clingy. But it's been four days...

5:30pm.

Without another thought, I grab my phone and car keys and climb out of my silver Mazda. I lock it and begin to stride across the car park without looking back at my car.

I step inside the warm building, and look around the now familiar waiting room. It's empty, apart from Nikki's last patients heading over to the door to go home.

Moving out of his way, I make my way to the corridor the last patient just emerged from and walk down it towards Nikki's office.

I stand in front of the large, mahogany door and raise my hand to it, but stop just before I touch the door. I could leave and wait for her. It's not too late yet.

No. I'm about to knock when I hear the muffled sounds of crying. She's crying, and my heart is aching for her. The girl I love is crying.

I gently tap my knuckles on the door and I hear a sharp in take of breath. "Nikki?" I say quietly, but loud enough that she can hear me through the heavy door.

"D-Daniel?" Her voice is thick and a little muffled.

"Can I come in?" I ask, placing my hand on the golden door knob.

"Um, yes. Of course." Her voice is still just as tight and I push the door open, stepping in.

I look at her. She's sat in her large leather chair, her cheeks stained with mascara from wiping her tears away. She looks at me blankly.

I shut the door and walk over to her quickly, kneeling in front of her. I take hold of her small hand. "Nikki, what's wrong?" I ask as I search her eyes for any sign of the truth.

She uses her free hand to wipe her eye. "I'm sorry, Daniel." She says as new tears fill her already blood shot eyes.

"What for?" I ask, worried now.

"I'm-I'm..." She starts, clutching on to my hand tightly and taking a deep breath. "Pregnant." She whispers nearly silently, but my ears wouldn't miss that word.

I lean back, but still hold on to her hand. A baby. I'm not ready for that. Well, I'll have to be. But, I'm terrified. Am I mentally stable enough to look after a baby?

It all makes sense. The illness the other day. It was morning sickness, we just didn't realise.

For now, the person that needs looking after is Nikki. I lean back forwards and place my hands on either side of her face.

"Don't be sorry, baby." I stand up and kiss her forehead. I pick her small frame up, and sit down with her on my lap, holding her tightly, but gently in to my side. She begins to cry a little again.

"You wanted to take this slow." She whispers in to my neck as I rub her back.

"These things happen and we learn to deal with them." I reassure her. Or myself. I'm not sure. Like I say, I'm terrified. What if I panic and hurt my baby. I'd never forgive myself.

"Are you okay?" I ask her softly.

"I'm fine, scared, but I'm okay." She places a hand on my chest.

"We'll get through this, together. We can do this." I kiss her forehead and run my fingers through her soft, beautiful hair.

****

Nikki came home with me tonight, and she's currently sat on my sofa watching Grey's Anatomy. As usual.

I walk through in to the living room with a glass of milk for her. "Thank you." She says smiling as I place it on the coffee table.

"Would you like something comfier to wear?" I ask her and she nods.

I reach out for her hand and carefully pull her up off the sofa, and up the stairs to my bed room.

I push the door open and she steps in behind me. Letting go of her hand, I go over to the chest of drawers and open the bottom one.

I rummage through until I find a white pyjama top and my smallest pair of track suit bottoms. "These will fit you the best, but there is a foot between us in height." I laugh and she takes them, smiling.

She lifts her hair up off her neck. "Will you get the zip for me?" She asks, meeting my eyes quickly.

I step behind her and take hold of the small zip, slowly pulling it down, my hand brushing against her back as I do. I lean down and press my lips to her now bare shoulder gently.

She moves her head to the side as I continue to shower her neck in little kisses. "I love you, Nikki." I say against her and I snake my hands around to her front, and rest them on her stomach. On my baby. "And we can do this together."

She places her hands on top of mine. "Are you scared?" She asks me as I kiss the back of her head.

"I'm terrified." I admit honestly, turning her around to face me, and I look down at her, stroking the side of her face. "I'm terrified that I'll have a panic attack around our baby, I'm scared I'll hurt it if I do. I'm scared that I'm not going to be a good dad." I kiss her forehead. "But I won't leave your side, baby girl, I'll be right here, until you order me away." I smile softly.

Nikki wraps her arms around my neck. "You are amazing, Daniel." She leans up and kisses my lips quickly.

She steps back and shrugs off her dress, letting it drop to the floor, then she picks up my pyjama top and pulls it over her. It covers her to half way down her thigh, then she pulls on my bottoms, and ties them as tight as she can so they don't fall down.

I lay down on my bed and open my arms for her. She slides in next to me, her head on my chest. We lay in silence for a while.

My thoughts drift to Carter Sanford. My best friend. Well, the only other person other than Nikki who hasn't given up on me.

I think the next step forward is the make plans with him. He always invites me places, even though he knows I'm going to refuse, but he still does. He rings me, even though he knows I won't answer, yet he leaves voice mails and finishes them with 'I'm here if you need me'

"I'm going to text Carter tomorrow." I say quietly, and Nikki looks up at me frowning.

"Carter? Who's that?" She asks me.

"He was my best friend, and he has never given up on me. I need to start letting people back in to my life." I hold on to Nikki and run my hand up her side softly.

"I think that's a good idea." She smiles and lies back down on my chest. "You have no idea how proud I am of you." She snakes her arms around me, gripping on to my shirt as she relaxes against me.