Sound The Bugle

19

Nikki Dawson

I thought we'd get through this. I thought that he'd come out of his shell again, but I was wrong.

He's still the doting boyfriend. Daniel does everything for me, he cooks, cleans and works too. He insists that I need to start taking it easy as I'm now four months pregnant.

But he won't touch me, he won't come near me. Whenever I try I go near him, he smiles sweetly and moves away.

Ever since Corey kidnapped me, he's been shaken. Seriously shaken and I'm worried about him.

He won't sleep in the same bed as me and has spent the last month in the spare room. It's horrible not sleeping next to him.

Carter has been pushed out again. Daniel won't talk to him, or about him. Any time I bring up contacting Carter, Daniel declines, mumbling something about hurting anyone he's close to.

Every night, I lay in bed, listening to the terrified shouts of Daniel as his nightmares haunt him once again.

He won't let me help him, but that's all I want to do. I want to show him that he can get out of this slump again.

I need to show him that his worst fear won't come true, he won't hurt me.

I hear the front door click, then heavy boots stomp inside. "Nikki, I'm home." Daniel shouts through the house.

I move to the front entrance so he can see me. He's not alone, Carter is with him.

That surprises me, he's been opposed to anything Carter, or anything anyone, for a month now.

"Hello, Honey." I say smiling, then look at the smaller, blond man. "And you, Carter, what brings you here?" I ask as I take hold of Daniels Jacket and hang it on the hooks gently.

"Daniel. He needs help, but is too stubborn to admit it." He says, glaring at Daniel who just rolls his eyes and begins to unlace his black work boots.

"Carter, stay out of it." He returns the intense glare of his best friend, but Carter is unphased by Daniels impending aggression.

"No, Daniel." Carter says sternly.

"Yes, Carter, this is non of your business." Snaps Daniel as he slides his boots against the wall. "You followed me home to come and tell me off in front of my girlfriend."

"Because I'm worried about you!" Sighs Carter. "Look at yourself, you're no better than you were five months ago when Nikki, a remarkable lady, came and helped you!" Carter shouts.

I step back as I watch the two bicker.

"Maybe, Carter, but some people are past help." Daniel replies gruffly.

My heart sinks. Daniel thinks he ruined. He feels helpless. I feel a stab in my chest as I watch the man I love argue with his best friend.

"No." Carter shakes his head. "No one is ever past help, Daniel. Now you need to pull yourself together and start thinking about Nikki and your baby." Carter growls, and with that, turns around and leaves the house, back to his family.

I'm stunned, Daniel is stunned.

I look at Daniel, he's already looking at me. We keep the eye contact for, what feels like, forever. No one speaks first. It's like no one dares to.

Daniel has been hit hard by Carter's final sentence. I know he has, I can tell by his stance. He looks deflated.

Eventually, Daniel looks down then turn away without a word, heading upstairs for a shower.

I let out a breath I didn't realise I was holding then bring my hands to my face, rubbing my forehead.

Shaking my head in a pathetic attempt to clear my head, I turn and head towards the kitchen to get a glass of milk.

****

It's so cold in bed tonight, surprisingly since it's a summer's evening. I huddle under the thick duvet trying to keep warm.

Just like every night before I fall asleep, light fills the bed room as Daniel opens the door.

Every night before he goes to sleep, he comes and checks on me then goes to the spare room.

"Are you okay?" He asks me softly. This is as soft as his voice has been since he basically shut down again.

I don't turn to face the door. "No, it's freezing." I laugh slightly, but Daniel doesn't.

The door doesn't shut. He's just stood there. I can feel his eyes on my back.

Then the floor boards creak. Then it goes silent. The only sound is us breathing.

Now the light is disappearing from the room. He's shut the door, and he's either gone deadly silent, or left the room. My heart sinks. I just want him next to me.

Slowly, I feel the mattress dip behind me and a large smile forms on my face.

Slowly and carefully, Daniel moves to lay down next to me, his bare chest against my back.

He's wary as he moves his arms around me, softly placing a hand on my belly, his face in the crook of my neck.

My body begins to warm up as I snuggle in to him, placing my hand on top of his, on top of my baby.

"I'm sorry, Nikki, I'm so sorry. Carter was right." Daniel says quietly in my ear.

I know he wants to continue, so I don't talk.

"I want to do everything I can to look after you and our baby. I want to pull myself together. Will you help me again?" He asks me quietly and I feel as though a weight has been taken off my chest.

"Of course I will, Daniel." I move in his arms so I'm facing him. "I'll always help you." I tell him as I press myself in to the warmth of his chest.

"I know Carter said to pull yourself together, but I also know It's not that PTSD is not that easy. I'll be there every step of the way." I say quietly, not expecting an answer from him.

We enjoy each others peaceful company for a while until I hear him take in a breath as if to say something.

He doesn't, at least for a moment. "My nightmares stopped the first night I held you in my arms." He starts, tightening them around me.

"Then they began the night after the Corey issue because I knew that it had shaken me, I believed that if I slept next to you that night, I'd hurt you. They came back because you weren't next to me." He carries on as I move my hand over his chest.

"Will you let me stay here tonight? If you're scared of me, I understand. I mean I would be too because-" I shut up his rambling by leaning up and kissing his lips, he instantly kisses me back.

"Of course you can stay here. I want nothing more, Daniel." I lean back and place my head back against his chest.

"I love you, baby." Is the last words that I hear before I fall in to a warm, happy sleep.