X-Men: The Gifted Ones

17. JANE'S BEDROOM, XAVIER MANSION, WEST CHESTER, NY

Jane was woken up from a sound sleep. There was gunfire and explosions all around her. Shells landed and exploded so close to her hut that they made her ears ring. She threw herself off of her cot and crawled her way out of her hut, the front of her body being sliced by the broken glass around her. As long as no shard is too long or pierces too deep, she told herself. Smoke was everywhere outside. Only the muddy ground oriented her to where she was. Her hands reached out and grasped the body of a badly wounded man. She pulled herself up to try to tend to him. He gasped as she felt for a pulse and the smoke finally cleared enough for her to see him. The top of his head was a mass of blood and gore but his eyes were alert and awake. He was fully aware of what had happened to him. His ribs cracked with every breath he took. She knew she couldn't save him, and he would suffocate from lack of oxygen or drown in his own blood within a few painful minutes. She touched him just enough to take the edge off of his pain, ease his passing.

He seemed to realize what she was doing. He grasped her to him and refused to let her go. She realized his head wound started to close as her head began to feel as if it would split open. Gashes appeared on her arms where there weren't gashes previously. She realized she was starting to heal him, yet the contact was taking her life. His wounds began to appear on her body. He wouldn't let go of her and she couldn't push herself away.

She screamed.

He wouldn't let go.

She continued to scream.

Her screams woke Charles, who pulled himself out of his bed and into his wheelchair. He raced down to her bedroom as fast as he could. Her screams tore the quiet night. He pushed his way into her bedroom and found her writhing on the bed, screaming, and gasping for air. He could tell she was in a great deal of pain in her dream. He approached her and gently shook her, "Jane! Jane, wake up! You're having a bad dream!"

"No! No!" she choked. "Please no!"

"Wake up, Jane! You're having a bad dream!" He found he couldn't rouse her from whatever had gripped her in her sleep. He reluctantly placed his hand on her temple, entering her mind. He saw her bad dream, the soldier refusing to let her go, her body becoming a mass of wounds. He turned himself into the soldier who was taking her life and she noticed the touch no longer hurt her.

"It's a bad dream, Jane. It's over. You're safe. Wake up."

The dream-Jane seemed confused by the transformation of the soldier and Charles was relieved that the wounds on her body were starting to close. "Charles? Charles, what are you doing?" the dream-Jane asked.

"I'm sorry, Jane, but you were having a bad dream. You were screaming and in pain. You needed to wake up. Now wake up."

Jane woke up to see Charles next to her bed, one hand on her temple and the other holding one of her hands. Her body felt awash in relief. She was back in her new home, in her large bed, thousands of miles from war. "You saw... the dream?"

"Yes. It felt more like a memory. Please tell me about it."

"I had to let go of him and make him die without easing him. He haunts me often."

He stroked her face, "There was nothing you could have done for him, dear."

Tears came to her eyes. "I know, but that was when I learned I could die, too, if the wound was bad enough."

"You're safe now, Jane. You're not in Vietnam anymore."

Jane reached up and touched his hand, pressing it gently to her face. "Safe... You do make me feel safe, Charles." She didn't know what had made her say his first name. She supposed he would excuse it, the terror of her dream and the lateness of the hour could account for any lapse in formalities.

"I'd like for you to feel safe," he whispered.

"Stay here with me, in case the dream comes back?"

"I can make sure it won't come back," he tried to reassure her, touching her temple.

She shook her head, "Not like that. Please, stay with me. I don't want to be alone right now."

He knew she was scared, but he, too, was scared of what he was feeling right now. He was sure it was showing in his eyes. He couldn't forget the dream she had had. He knew he could never live up to the expectations she had in that dream. He knew she knew. She was, after all, a nurse. She had seen spinal injuries like his. She knew what those would prevent. The life she had in her dream was the life he knew he could never give her. "Jane, I can't."

Her face grew clouded as she watched his face grapple with emotions he'd never share with her. "So you use your telepathy to come in my mind when you like, and use it to keep everyone else out of your heart?"

He shook his head, "That is not how it works."

"Why are you afraid to stay next to me?"

He wanted to say he was not afraid. He wanted to come up with any excuse. He found he couldn't do it. He had entered into her mind, a human's most sacred place, without asking her. He was aware she would understand he only did it to help her, but he felt it didn't excuse the fact he had done it at all. He could only give her total honesty. She deserved that. He had caused her mind to lay itself bare, he had to return that. "You want what I cannot give you. I don't need to be psychic to know what you want from me."

"How do you know what I want?" she challenged.

"You're in love with me, Jane. I saw that dream you had. I picked up your energy when you slept next to me that night."

Jane looked down, "I couldn't help it."

"Who can ever help what they dream?"

"What makes you think I am in love with you, if I can't control what I dream?"

"I know what it is that brings you the calm and peace to be your most powerful, it's so strong it pushes into my mind whether you want it to or not."

Jane felt her eyes grow wide. She didn't know her thoughts were that strong. She didn't realize that her mind could do that. She couldn't believe he never told her he knew her secret. "You probably think I'm weak."

"Not a bit! It takes a great deal of power for anyone to get into my mind. Few have ever done it. I promise I won't make you try to stop, but I can't stay here. Not tonight." He brushed her hair back and kissed her forehead. He left the room.

Jane wasn't sure if the pain in her chest was from her heartbreak or residual from the dream. She couldn't control the tears that spilled from her eyes. She felt so stupid, so weak. She was angry for allowing herself to love someone who would always hold her at arm's length. She knew why he did, he even said as much. She wanted to tell him she had medical training, she knew, realistically, that the dream she had may never come true but that didn't stop her from wanting him, as he was now. She knew some parts of a marriage would never be hers, she knew she would never have a family with him in the traditional sense. What he failed to understand was she didn't care. As long as she had his heart, she felt she could have everything.

She hoped, maybe, once she convinced him of that, that maybe he could bring himself to open his heart to her.

"