So Far Away | Min Yoongi

62.0

"Well," I started.

"I know what you're thinking." He says, looking at me in the eye. "And no, I am not going to be an idol because that's not what I want to do."

"But Yoongi," I said, reaching for both of his hands. He lets his head down, but that's not going to stop me from talking to him. "You said that you want to do anything as long that it has something to do with music. Just think of it this way, you could start of as an idol, but you can still make your own music in the future. You can just set up your name and-"

"Let people know me." He mumbles, slowly lifting his head up.

"Yes, exactly." I say, squeezing his hands a little. "And maybe if your parents knew you'd be training to be a star, they'd let you go and not put you in that mental institution."

"Are you kidding?" He laughs and jerks his hands away from me. "That's just going to be another reason why they'd send me there. They don't want a son who's an idol, they want a son who's a doctor or a lawyer."

It hit me. All this time, Yoongi and I have been in the same situation. Is that why his parents didn't like me? Because they knew I was supporting him in his dreams, his passion? Is that why his father broke the machine and not because he was mad at how he didn't tell him he's going to a school field trip?

Is that where everything has been revolving around?

For months, I thought that everything was about me. That I thought I was the reason why he hated his son so much enough to send him away for people who needs mental help.

But it wasn't. It's about his dream.

He and I are alike. Much alike than I thought we were.

The only difference is that he fights for what he wants and i'm here following my parents like a stupid dog ever since I was born.

"This is going to be a start for you." I said, tears suddenly streaming out of my eyes. "I...I want nothing more than you becoming what you want, and not get pushed around by your parents because I know exactly how it feels like and it's not fucking g-"

"Shhhh." He whispers, coming back to embrace me, his arm wrapping around my head to pull me close to him just at the right moment as I begin to burst with emotions. "Do you really want me to do this? To become an idol?"

I shake my head, my tears streaking down my face and onto his shirt. I pulled back a little and look at his eyes as I reply stolidly. "No, I want you to do it because you want to. Not because I want you to."

"Have you decided yet?" A short woman in her thirties comes out from the door, holding a clip board in her hands. "There's more people who's waiting to audition, so if you could come in now and let us know your decision please."

I pulled back farther and wiped the tears from my cheeks with the back of my hand and gestured him with my chin to follow the woman. "Go, but however you decide, i'll still support you. Do this for you, not for anyone else."

"I will." He replies, wiping a tear drop that I missed from the corner of my eye with his thumb. He turns back around and follows the woman inside the room, living me behind with nothing but a clear chest.

I'll still be here for you, Yoongi. No matter what you choose.

*

It took him about an hour before he came back out of the room, flashing me a forced smile as he walks towards me.

Did he take the chance? Did he not? Did he felt pressure by me? Dang it, I should have just controlled my emotions and not let him do anything that he doesn't want to do.

Crap, what have I done?

"I took the opportunity." is the first thing he said.

It took me a good ten seconds before I could reply, my conscience eating me. If I had forced him to become an idol and he doesn't want to, then I am just the same as my parents and his.

"Take it back," I said, starting to lose my mind on how to explain how bad of a decision it was. "I'm... I didn't know what I thinking. You shouldn't be something you don't want to be. I'm... I-I'm sorry for making you g-"

"I can't take it back anymore, I already signed a contract." He says with words that made me stop breathing for a split second. "But I didn't do it because of you. I agreed right after they explained everything to me."

"Explained what?" I asked, finally breathing properly.

"General stuff. How many times I practice for my music and now dancing," He rolls his eyes, making me giggle. "And how there is a no... I mean, you know, just general stuff."

"Oh." I said. "But are you sure that this is what you want?"

"Well, there's something that... I don't know..."He mumbles, breaking his eye contact with me.

"What is it?" I ask, a sweat beading on my forehead. My heart started to race, my palms becoming sweaty.

"They're going to start training me right after our graduation."

I breathe out happily as I smiled in relief, clenching my chest with both of my hands. "That's great! Your parents are not going to send you in that institution anymore then. I thought it was something negative, I was starting to worry."

He looks up at me with his sad eyes, the corners of his lips slightly pulled down. I continue to smile in contrast of him but that smile soon begin to fade when he replied once more, my happiness quickly turning into nothing but despair.

"It's going to take place in Seoul."