Please Don't Be So Shy

Need To Know

I blink awake from my slumber, wiping the drool off of my cheek and rubbing my eyes. I smile, vaguely remembering my dream I was just having. I was with Scott, of course, but that was all I could remember. Still, anything with Scott in it immediately makes me happy. Ugh, I'm so cheesy.

I swing my legs over the side of my bed, dragging my feet across the carpet to my vanity. I lean my weight onto the dark wood, glancing up at my reflection in the mirror. Oh, God! My cheek is smeared with dried drool, my eyelashes stuck together in some weird spidery mess, my eyes puffy and red, and my hair one big curly rat's nest sat on the top of my head. Talk about a hot mess.

I take a quick shower, then I apply my moisturizer and facial treatment. Now that my face has a nice glow to it and my hair is perfectly styled, I can finally look in the mirror without wincing. Hell yeah, I woke up like this.

I pad down the stairs and into the kitchen, greeting both my dad and my baby Wyatt. I start to stick an Eggo waffle into the toaster when my dad startles me, causing me to drop the waffle. Dammit.

"Jesus, dad! What the fu..." check yourself, Grassi. "...udge!"

"Sorry, buddy!" He laughs. "I was just gonna say, I saw you kissing Scott last night." He smirks.

My face heats up bright red. My dad will do anything just to get under my skin. He couldn't be more embarrassing.

"So...?"

"I think you two are cute. He's a really nice guy." Tell me about it. "Your mother should meet him!"

She's always so judgemental about everything. I guess it would be nice to have him over to dinner, or something, though.

"When is she free next? It's like she doesn't even like to be here."

"Come on, Mitchy. You know perfectly well that she loves both of us very much. She just... has a demanding job."

"But she makes it demanding. She doesn't have to work all of that overtime." I sigh. "I just miss her, is all."

"I know you do buddy, and don't get me wrong, I miss her too." He pauses. "Let's talk about something else. So how's Scott? Anything happen between now and when you were makin' out on the porch?"

"I seriously hate you sometimes."

~~~

Scoot<3- can i call u?

Me- of course

I answer the instant the call reaches my phone.

"Hi!" I squeak, excited to hear his voice again.

"Hey, Mitchy!" His voice has a slight hint of worry in it, I notice, furrowing my brow.

"What's wrong?"

"It's the reason I wanted to call you..."
Oh my God. Is he mad at me? Did someone die? He can't be breaking up with me... what did you do you idiot why is he breaking up with you?!

"What is it?" I ask, internally struggling to calm the anxiety bubbling up in my stomach.

"My mom had a talk with me. Apparently... my dad wants to see me again. After all these years. I don't understand. He left when I was really young, my mom always said he was a gross alcoholic, but he called me. He said there were more things that I need to know. That there were more to the picture. But his voice was... different. Not like it is in my memories. I know people change, but this is a big change. I'm kind of scared, Mitchy... what if he's like mom? What if he doesn't accept me?"

This is a lot to take in. The thing is, he came to me with this. He called me for help, told me he was scared. I feel warm.

"You should see him. Maybe he's changed for the better. You never know. And if he's like your mom, I'm here for you, always."

"Can... can you come with me? To see him, I mean?"

My heart drops. Come with him? To see his dad? Whom he hasn't seen in years?

"Of course I will! If I'm not being too invading... I mean if it's okay with him and everything..."

"I wouldn't ask if I wasn't okay with it, dumbass." He laughs. I giggle along with him. "So we were planning on meeting at the Starbucks he works at, his hours are 12-5. How about I pick you up around 2?"

"Sounds great."

~~~

Scott's a nervous wreck. I grab his hand over the console as he drives, which calms him down a bit, but he's still fidgety. His forehead has collected a sheet of sweat and his hand is overly warm.

We drive for about two hours. We talk about life and relationships, eventually getting into a deep conversation about our parents. He describes his father, and what he looked like when he was still around. A lot about his personality and unique characteristics. I sit back and listen, his hand in mine on my lap. I'm perfectly content just listening to his voice.

At one point he tells a funny story about when he and his father were watching fireworks on the Fourth of July. Apparently he had eaten too much watermelon beforehand, and when he was sitting on his father's shoulders while the fireworks were going off, a particularly loud one exploded, startling the small toddler version of Scott. Well, I bet you can probably guess what happened next. At one point during the story Scott starts laughing, letting go of my hand and grabbing my thigh as giggles wrack his body. My face gets hot when I realize he's not moving his hand from my upper thigh. I kind of like it. Just a bit.

Okay, I'm thoroughly enjoying this.

He eventually he pulls into an ordinary-looking Starbucks parking lot. He removes his hand from my leg to bring it once through his hair nervously. I frown as I unbuckle myself. I lean over to peck his lips once, smiling to lighten the mood.

He smiles back, kissing me once again before stepping out onto the concrete. I walk over to him on the other side of the car. He bites his lip, glancing at the building behind me with unease. I hold both of his hands, looking straight into his steel blue-gray eyes. I stare in awe of them for a second, convinced he has his own small sky behind his eye sockets.

"I'm scared."

"There's nothing to be scared of, honey."

"But it's my dad, and I haven't seen him in forever. What if-"

"No, no more 'what if's'. We're in the present, it's time to stop worrying about the future."

"What would I do without you..." He mumbles, before leaning in to connect his lips to mine.

I slide my arms around his back, smiling into the kiss.

"Oh... you probably wouldn't leave the car, the house, even..." He slaps my arm playfully.

"Shut up. Okay... let's go."

"Are you ready?"

He takes a deep breath.

"Yes."

We walk together, hand in hand, to the big glass doors. I give his hand a reassuring squeeze as he swings the door open, the warmth and amazing smell of coffee and pastries engulfing us both.

We walk across the tiles to the counter, causing a barista to turn and smile at us. She's older, with a bald head, sparkly eyeshadow, flawless winged eyeliner, huge dangly earrings, and a beautiful bejeweled dress.

She's transgender, and absolutely killing it!! She looks gorgeous, and confident, which makes my heart glow.

"D-dad?"

~~~