Make a Wish|| G. Gustin

14.

Only three hours into Mare's surgery and I am already crawling out of my skin. Every thought that enters my mind is about her and this wearisome setting isn't helping. I hate to leave the place where Mare is, but if I stay in here one more minute I might puke. 

I leave the grief stricken hallway and go to the lobby for a change in scenery. There I see the spot where I met the love of my life. My eyes become red and lachrymose at the thought of running into her sardonic being. I think of how gorgeous her pale skin and blonde hair were; I think of how even after she lost her hair and her skin became bruised, how beautiful she was. 

The air gets punched out of my chest and I start to hyperventilate. I move quickly out of the hospital doors and out to the parking lot. As soon as I get in my car I start to relax. I try to tell myself that everything will be okay but I know it won't be. 

That's when my stomach lurches and I quickly open the car door. The cement ground of the hospital's parking structure becomes wet with my foul vomit. 

I close the car door and run the engine. Leaving, the radio turns on and plays a christmas song. 

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need

I snap the radio off, not wanting to have a full on meltdown. I continue down the road, blurry eyed and dry throat. 

A thought pops into my head as I turn a corner of Vancouver's many streets. What if Mare doesn't die? All I have been thinking about is the worst case scenario. I turn into the little coffee shop where Marebear and I had our first date. Walking into the shop I feel a new twinge of heartache. 

I go up to the counter and order Mare's drink. I don't exactly know why I am doing this to myself but I can't help it. 

I received the drink and sit down at an open table. I look around at the couples in the room, all on dates and I turn green with envy. 

Why can't I be one of them? Why can't I love someone who won't leave me? I think back to the last conversation my girlfriend and I had and how she told that life was the most unfair thing in the world. She was right. 

I break down in tears, getting strange looks from around the room. Someone comes up to me and taps me on the shoulder.

"Can I get a picture with you?"

I don't answer; instead I just get up and leave, coffee cup in hand. Marybeth told me that she doesn't deserve me because I am a great person. The fact is I don't deserve her. She doesn't deserve being bombarded by people asking for pictures. She's too good for that.

I get in my car once again and punch the steering wheel with my fist. I don't know what to do or where to go, so I call the first person who comes to mind. 

"Tyler," I say breathlessly. 

"Hey little bro what's up?"

"I- I don't know what to do," I express barely audible. A sob rips out of me and more tears flush down my face.

"Wait wait slow down, what's going on," Tyler says concerned. 

I take slow, deep breaths to make my voice comprehensible. "Remember me telling you that Mare's surgery was today?"

I had been telling my brother about Marybeth since I met her. I told him that once she gets better he could meet her. Now I don't know if that will ever happen now. 

"I was so sure everything would be okay but now I don't know."

"Look man I don't know what to tell you," Tyler says. "All I can say is if the universe wants you guys to be together it'll happen."

"Gosh," I say sniffing. "You sound like Barry. Thank you though. That terrible advice somehow calmed me down."

"Hang in there, I'll see you later."

He hangs up. I sigh and lean my head against the steering wheel in exhaustion. As soon as I close my eyes though, my phone rings. It's Vancouver General. 

"Hello," I answer, my voice shaking miserably. 

"Hello Mr. Grant," Barbie says in an inconsolable tone. It sounds like she has been gargling staples. She sniffs and my heart sinks to the floor. "I think you might want to make your way back to the hospital, honey." 

****

A/N: CLIFFHANGER!!!!!

Can we just take a second to appreciate the fact that Grant threw up because he was so worried for his Marebear. Aww OTP much?

Also please VOTE!