Make a Wish|| G. Gustin

13.

A/N: The following few chapters will be short and from Grant's perspective. Hope you like them!

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I sit in the cold tiled hall of Vancouver General Hospital, a place that I had just recently gotten to know. 

Every ounce of me is panicking. How could I do this to myself; let myself fall in love with someone who I knew was going to leave me. I talked myself out of it so many times, but then I thought of the way she walked these hall liked she owned the place; I thought of her sarcastic comments she mode so oftenly; I thought of the way her hair bounced on her shoulders like waves smoothly crashing on the shore. 

Barbie comes up to me, snapping me out of my thoughts. I strain to see her because of the tears flooding my eyes. She hands me an envelope with my name on it.

"Marybeth told me to give this to you while she was in surgery. I think you should read it."

I take the envelope and she leaves wiping a tear from her wrinkled cheek. I take the out piece of paper which has dried water spots on it- tears. I begin to read the neat writing left from Mare. 

Cupcake,

I am writing these words down because I can't say them outloud without breaking down. Grant I don't think you could possibly understand how much I love you. You are the reason I wake up in the morning, you are the reason I'm not going into this surgery not caring whether or not I come out. 

I don't deserve you, Grant. You are easily the best person I know; every time I even think of you I feel as if the world is fixed, like nothing bad exists. You are a burning fire and I don't want to be the one to put you out. What I have done to you is a sin that is unforgivable. I've put you through Hell and I'm so sorry. And if I make it out of this I swear on everything I care about that I will do whatever it takes to be good enough for you because you need better than this version of me. 

I can't promise you anything except for this: I will never stop loving you, whether that is for sixty more years or only a few more hours. I want to spend the rest of my life with you Grant and trust me when I say I am going to fight my hardest to stay here. You are my rock; my reason to live. Without you I wouldn't make it an hour into them cutting my brain open. 

Thank you.

          You not only are the love of my life but you are my best friend. And that means the world to me because friendship is what holds the world together. You hold my world together.

        Sometimes I wonder what our lives would be like if I make it out of this hospital somehow other than in a coffin. If you love me as much as I love you, you would share my utopian views. We would date for a while longer; we would get married; go to work together; have kids and cherish them with with all our hearts. 

         I imagine the little things too- cuddling on the couch watching movies; walking along the beach at night under the summer stars. I imagine waking up next to you every morning and going to bed with you at night. If I don't make it I'm going to miss all of that. I am going to miss seeing my kids grow up and have a future. I think of all the karaoke nights we won't have. I am going to miss everything that comes with having you. I might never see your face after today and that kills me more than you know. The second I saw you something clicked. Something that makes me feel like I can't live without you. 

       Hopefully I will never have to.

       When I am at my worst, thinking thoughts that aren't meant to be in a person's brain, you are there to pull me out of the dark that is drowning me. The world is less scary with you in it.

        Before you met me I was hard and cold. Now all my walls have been knocked down and my bitterness has been replaced with endearment. 

        I find it funny how you fall in love with the most unexpected people in the most unexpected times. In the most unfair times. It's so unfair that right when I meet the most amazing person he is about to get ripped away from me in the most withering way. 

    But what are you going to do. We can't control what happens in life. Not even close.

    You make my wishes come true.

With all of my heart,

Marybeth Adams

There is something written at the bottom of the page but I can't read it for it is covered in tears. My tears or hers I do not know. 

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