Make a Wish|| G. Gustin

8.

At about nine o'clock Dr. Anderson, my surgeon for the past seven years, walked into my room. I haven't seen him in a few weeks, for I seemed to be healing nicely from my last surgery two years ago.

"Hey Dr. A," I say cheerfully. "What's up?"

"Ms. Adams, is your family coming down anytime soon?"

"I couldn't imagine them wanting to see me unless I was dead," I say matter of factly.

"Oh that's not true," he states. "They stayed here every night for two years."

"Exactly," my voice is unwavering. "Last time they came by they told me that they wasted two years of their lives on me. Now I assume they are traveling the world or something. I get the occasional phone call but other than that I don't hear from them. We were never to close anyways."

"Well do you have any one you would like to call?"

"Wait... you're not here for just another check up are you," I say slowly.

"I'm afraid not," he tells me sadly.

"So what's going on?"

"Mare, your tumor has spread to another part of your brain. If we don't operate soon then you could lose all motor function. The operation is risky though and you will have to take strong doses of Chemotherapy before hand to stop the rapid growth of the tumor."

"Great so I'll turn into a vegetable." I exhale slowly taking in all the information that has been thrown at me. "And if I don't do it?"

"I give you three weeks to live," he says with sorrow. I feel like I have been punched in the stomach. All of the air has left my lungs and I think I ma pass out.

"I'm really sorry," Dr. Anderson says. "Would you like me to get a hold of anyone."

I regain my breath and shake my head. Grant is working a late night and I don't want to bother him.

"I'll do the surgery. When do we start?"

"As soon as you sign consent forms I call Barbie into give you your first dosage. Operation is next week."

"Great," I say sarcastically. Then I make my voice sincere and grateful. "Thanks Doc."

He nods and hands my the forms. I quickly scan them to know the risks and then sign them. He takes the form from me and leaves the room. Barbie comes in a few hours later with a new bag to hang on my IV stand and a series of tubes and needles. Her face is sad and tears are in her crystal eyes, but she doesn't say a word to me. I lay on my stomach and try not to think about the needle entering the spinal canal in my back. Once the constant flow of drugs enters my body, Barbie leaves crying. With every move I make, my body feels like it is being hit with a sledge hammer.

Fatigue overcomes me and I fall into a restless sleep.

-*_

I awake to see an exhausted looking Grant Gustin sitting in a chair staring at me. His eyes are sad and lost.

"Creep," I say in a scratchy voice. I painstakingly sit up in bed and smile at Grant. He doesn't smile back.

"I got a call last night after work from Barbie. Not you, your nurse."

"You were working," I say despite all my pain. I feel like I might puke at any second.

"So? You still could have called me. I would have come here as fast as I could," he says angrily. I feel bad for not calling him but I don't show it.

"I didn't want you to get fired or anything," I tell him.

"I'm the main character. They can't fire me," he says. His mood lightens a bit and he comes over to sit on my bed next to me. "How are you feeling."

"I have felt better, considering I have an IV in my spinal canal administrating cell killing drugs," I tell him in my usual joking tone. He doesn't laugh like he usually does though.

"I have to get brain surgery," I say sadly. "If I turn into a vegetable I want you to leave. Don't stick around."

"You aren't turning into a vegetable. And if you did I would stay anyways," he tells me.

"Well you would be staying with a dead person," I tell him. "I filled out DNR papers if I don't wake up within six days."

"Well you're going to wake up," he chokes. He strokes my blonde hair and kisses my forehead.

"If you don't want to stay with me I understand. This next week is going to be hell; I'm going be puking and I'll look terrible. You didn't sign up for this, Cupcake," I say.

"I'm staying. And I will repeat it until you believe me."

I find the strength to smile. "I love you Grant Gustin."

"I love you more," he says with tears in his eyes. "Mare, I don't even want to imagine a life without you in it."

"Hopefully you'll never have to," I tell him. I reach up and pull his head down to meet mine. I press my lips against his, tasting his salty tears as they fall from his eyes and into his mouth. The kiss deepens and I feel a sensation that I need to be closer to him. Like if I wasn't holding onto him then he would leave.

My finger tips brush his cheeks and then find their way up to his soft hair. He cradles my head, pulling me in closer. My eyes well up with tears as I think of all the kisses I'll like this I may be missing. Grant pull away but I instinctively reach my head backup and continue to taste the sweet flavor of his lips.

"Just... A little more," I say in between the moments where our lips touch. "My mouth will be full of puke soon so we won't be able to do this anymore."

"Well in that case," Grant smiles and kisses the crook of my neck. I laugh at his soft lips connecting with my ticklish skin. 

Grant's lips find their way back up to my forehead and sit there for a while. I snuggle closer into his side and take a deep breath. 

He'll be gone soon, I think to myself. And just when I felt loved too.