The Last Philosopher

Good times ain't cheap

The courthouse was only across the square. But if it hadn't been for Rascal, getting there could've taken all day. It shared a wall with Sinade's whose business in polite company was best described as other. As they were halfway up the rare stone staircase, being giggled at by the girls from Sinade's, one of the temporary Bailiffs came forward.

"Name?" Instead of answering, Earl stepped forward and sat him down with one punch. To the delight of the crowd.

"Thanks for taking this gig M.C, saves me the trouble of having to come look for ya."

Earl stretched out a hand and helped him up. M.C reluctantly took it and the other Bailiffs stepped aside to let them in.

"That's one way to get the crowd on yer side," Charlene whispered to Fannie as the oohs faded.

Even as a servant of the court, Da wasn't assured front row seats to the trial. But as the marshal and a key participant. Earl had some pull with the judge's clerk, whose main responsibility was ticket sales. Even so, he'd only been able to finagle two. So, Fannie was in the cheap seats, next to the sticky shame-stock.

A front row spot was currently going for two sheep, half a side of beef, or a keg of beer. Unofficially, behind the courthouse, extra tickets went for double that price. But no one dared to object when Rascal took the best seat in the house. Free of charge. Right next to Herschel at the table of the accused.

"How's this tha social event af the decade," she asked. Earl only shrugged.

The mouthpiece for the execution started proceedings. As expected, it was all a bit of a show. Because opening statements was his only opportunity to show off. Bres wouldn't give anyone that wasn't paying for the privilege much chance to participate.

Until now, Charlie had never considered how wrong it was to have a judge that wasn't interested in so-called evidence. The Cedent judges had never believed a witness stand was required for justice. They were all about packing the courtroom.

Extra benches were crammed in beyond the little fence, the one that separated the accused from the public. But only Bres was allowed behind the taller fence around the judge's platform. The elevated seat supported his inflated behind, and behind his behind were severe looking paintings of his judgy forefathers.

Children, drunks, and paupers were packed onto any available floorspace. Others leaning against the walls, or crouching in the aisles. Bres was making the most of this trial. Still, the truth was this was a big payday for Earl as well, even without hazard pay. But at least he had the decency not to be happy about it.

Proceedings were slow. As anyone willing to pay got a chance to say a few words, and participants had been lined up since dawn. Most who took the participation stand had little to say, others droned on for a bit until they got heckled off. The offerings went through the entire spectrum of people. From inanely self-assured blatherings, to the timid stammerings of some actual meaning. But the most popular by far was 'Hi Mum!' followed by an excited wave and an 'aww' from the crowd.

The bad reverend Muke Lark was the last one in the participant stand. In solemn tones he claimed to speak for the innocents, the children, the little old ladies, and all the powerless Agalians. He also painted a word-picture of the breakdown of their values and culture, caused by unspecified foreign influences. Somehow these unknown influences were responsible for every disaster in Agalaland. And the fact that they were unknown made them even more unacceptable.

"Things ain't as they used ta be! We all knows it, an' it's gettin' worse! We canna let our enemies keep strikin' first! If we do, our ways'll be lost forever!"

That ended the first part of his speech. Charlie wanted to shout that they were the ones who work and live here, wouldn't that mean if everything was getting worse, they were the ones making it so? But she would've been pelted with rotten vegetables and banned from the court.

Muke kept up the fuss, moving towards something like a point by saying that they didn't know this man on trial. With anger in his voice, he questioned Herschel's humanity. While insinuating they had no idea of this predator's intentions.

Suddenly, his tone shifted to sad, and the dark wooden room went dead quiet. That was the moment he stated the fact that everyone already believed to be true. That all Áettar were naked vicious degenerates. After that, he swore on Zissmus himself, that he knew these foreigners were corrupting the young, robbing the weak, and in essence destroying their way of life.

"Only by the strength af our character 'ave they been kept at bay!"

Muke paused to roaring applause. Now that the crowd was with him, he churned out outrageous claims by making speculation into truth. As he finished up his participation, his tone was miserable.

"How da we know this 'alf-breed ain't a scout, or worse, a missionary? If we suffer this Áettar to live, 'ow da we know others won't follow?"

He floated out of the courtroom on a cloud of hypocrisy, but before he went he added. "Remember! Com' to the church! Give what ya can, so we can continue the gud fight!"

Charlie stayed seated during the standing ovation. Surprised that her neighbours, people she knew, people she liked, had swallowed what Muke was serving. The only part the reverend cared about was his last line, the one that would line his own pockets. Still, the crowd hadn't just swallowed his lies, they were screaming for more.

Updated: 27.11.2023