Arranged Marriage

chapter 14

"please pick up." i whispered, as Felicity began to calm down.

"what's up?"

"thank god! you're the only one that answered their phone."

"okay? what do you need?"

"can you come pick me up? i'm at the morgue."

"Normani, what the hell are you doing at a morgue?"

"Thomas died and i was his emergency contact. i asked to identify him and it was him. we're having the funeral on Saturday."

"i'm coming but it's going to be awhile."

"sure."

"okay bye."

"thanks Lani, for doing this."

"no problem. you would've been my sister so i don't mind."

"i'll see you soon then."

"mhm."

she ended the call and i sat down at the nearest bench. i took the bottle out of my jacket pocket, taking the cap off before giving it to Felicity. she just saw her dead father. lord knows she'll probably remember this as she grows up. her father wasn't exactly bad but he wasn't good either. after my grandfather passed away, two years ago, he confessed that he didn't want to be married to me. he loved another girl but my grandfather killed her. so he had to marry me. i was supposed to divorce Thomas after giving birth to our daughter but i couldn't do it. he said he needed this and that's when he started do things i wasn't happy with. he would smoke with our daughter in the room. it took a while before the divorce was finalized but when it was, i went through a trial to gain custody of my daughter.

a few minutes later, a car drove up and i got up. i got in the passenger seat and Kehlani drove off.

"i thought i saw Dinah today."

"oh really?"

"yeah but it was probably just my imagination. i know she's dead."

"that she is."

"sorry, i didn't mean to bring it up."

"it's okay. i just miss her. it hasn't been the same without her. dad tried to overdose until Lauren caught him and slapped the pills out of his hand. he broke down and Lauren held him. our family isn't emotionally stable yet."

"i get it. i'm still not stable either yet."

"i just hope it gets better."

"me too. there's too many people dying."

"that's Los Angeles for you."

we sat in silence for awhile before she pulled up into my house. i thanked her once again before entering my house. it really sucked that she was gone. Tori said maybe that her death meant something. if Dinah was still here, would we have a kid? would Felicity have been born? the truth is, maybe Dinah's death did mean something. maybe me moving on was supposed to be something that i need to do. maybe Felicity became my reason to move on.

i'm not ready. i don't want to move on from Dinah when she's the only one that's on my mind. she's the reason i wake up at night, sweat coming down my face. i would have good dreams and bad dreams. some would be memories, some would be us living a happy life before her death, and others are just nightmares to me. i couldn't do anything to save her. i watched as she laid lifeless in my arms. she didn't deserve to die at 20. she had her whole life ahead of her and it all went down in a matter of seconds. i should've been the one that died that day. not her. i would've sacrificed everything for her because i loved her. all i have of her is memories and gifts from her.

but out of everything, all i really wanted was her..

a/n: i honestly feel like leaving this story like this. i mean it's a bad ending but i really don't like how it's going so far. like if you knew what i had coming, you'd probably be mad or something. i want to post the other chapters but i just don't think it's good. nothing is good anymore. i can't even sleep for christ's sake. really not liking 2017 so far because of it. school is a mess tbh and i don't want to go through it anymore but thankfully i only have a year left before i can finally graduate and go to college. i'm sorry guys, like i've given up on writing for awhile and as much as i love writing, it's hard to keep up with my stories. i have so many ideas and end up leaving them because i'm stuck. i want to finish these stories but like i have no motivation which kills me. sorry guys..