The Pack House

Joy and Sorrow

"Anywhere is better than here. Maybe home."

"Do you know where home is?" It hadn't even struck me to return home. To see my parents and introduce them to Marc.

"It'll take some time but I'm sure I'll find them. Or I'll die. Either way." He shrugged and walked up the stairs. At the top he appeared a bit out of breath.

Another reason to not want to have a child.

I circled the kitchen as I thought about what to do. Bothering Red wouldn't do anything but get me bitched out by him and Marc, and bothering with Marc guaranteed another attempt at sex. Cam wasn't watching TV so I went to their side and knocked on the door. Red had knocked out a few walls, planning to make their bedroom to a little apartment with a kitchenette, Master bath, nursery, and living space. The current living room would be gutted into a lounge for guests.

They were really serious about the Inn idea. And I could see it coming together shockingly quick. Red wasn't wasting a moment. "Come in!"

Inside I stepped over power tools, building scraps, and a rolled rut. Red had really opened the area up and defined areas were clear. He'd tore up carpet and laid tile as well as a base where I assumed the bathtub and other bathroom equipment would go. Cam was sitting up the bed looking through a little book of names. "Adrian." He hummed. "What do you think?"

"It's good?" I didn't really have an opinion at all so it was hard to care.

Cam's nose crinkled. "Red likes it but ugh. Adrian. Who names their kid that?"

"Everyone named Adrian's parents." I replied.

Cam rolled his eyes. "What do you need Mason?"

I hoped it was hormones making him so short and moody because I didn't like the new Cam so much. "To see if you'd heard any news about Will?"

"He thought he could kill himself." Cam said simply. "We've all been there. He just got closer than most."

"He needs help."

"He'll be fine Mason. He's just adjusting to being pregnant is all. It's a blessing."

I could understand why he'd think that. For him, when it happened everything he'd ever dreamed of came true. His mate seemed to suddenly love him. It was hard for him to see something like that in a negative light. "For you."

"And you," he added with a smile. "Red says Marc wants to have a baby: you need to hurry if you want to do it this month. The cycle will be ending soon."

"I'm not so sure I want a kid." I sat on the edge of the bed and Cam tucked his feet in. His rounded tummy rested on his knees. "But I'm glad you and Red are so happy."

"It's not just about what you want Mason." Frowned Cam. "He's your mate--you don't want to start a family with him?"

"I never said that." I blushed. "Jeez, you people are so pushy!"

"Maybe you're just slow." He yawned widely then and blinked tiredly. "Will you go get Ted for me? I would but I'm sore."

"Of course--what do you need?" It gave me an excuse to check in on Will without getting Red all bitchy or breathing down my neck.

"I'll make something up. Mostly I want cuddles and a nap." He smiled sleepily. "Thank you Mase!"

"No problem."

***

Will had his back to us.

Red was sitting in the chair looking at some blueprints on his phone: it was almost like he was policing him. I cleared my throat and Will's shoulder bunched. Red looked up sharply and fire danced in his eyes--my presence wasn't welcome. "Mason I fucking told you--"

"Cam wants you." I spoke loudly over his anger. "He's in your room."

Concern etched over his face. He got up and tucked the phone in his pocket. "Stay here with him," he ordered.

Red shut the door behind him and I hesitantly and sat on the side of the bed. Will pressed close to the opposite side--the only acknowledgment to my presence. "How are you doing?" I asked softly.

"I can't do this." He choked out. "I hate this thing inside me and I can't get rid of it. I feel so badly for hating it--it doesn't deserve to be hated before it even lives."

I tentively touched him and he began to shake. I pulled my hand pack.

"I can't live this way Mason. Kill me. Please. Then I won't have to live with the guilt of liking it myself."

Shocked I recoiled. Will rolled over. His eyes were bloodshot and crazed. "I won't fight back." He pulled a small kitchen knife from under his pillow.

"Will--"

He rested the tip against his chest, where his heart was. "Just push it in." He begged. "I tried but...I'm too weak. But you're the strongest wolf I know! Please Mason. Kill me. Kill it."

I was too uncomfortable to even remain in the room. I back out horrified and terrified and looked for comfort with my mate--something Will couldn't ever experience.

QOTC: thoughts?
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