alphabet | servamp tsubaki

39 ; blunt ; 11-20

39; obnoxious ; 11-20

March 23rd, 2.30am

Tsubaki,

I thought I emptied out my emotions already, but I cried again. I cried and cried on my bed, my eyes red and paired with prominent dark circles. I haven't looked after my appearance for days.

Tsubaki, you used to make me smile, but now all you give me is pain.

Neko-chan, a pretty girl like you should seriously take care of her appearance. Go put some cucumber underneath your eyes, baka. 

Mao smiled at the note. Perhaps it was a little harsh, but it was a slap in the face that she well needed. If only she read it before.

March 30th, 12.45pm

Tsubaki,

I finally smiled again after listening to a couple of songs on our playlist. I remember that time when we went on the ferris wheel. Back then, I was still scared of heights, and I almost cried. But then you told me to 'turn that frown, upside down' while pinching my cheeks.

God, I love you.

I love myself too.

I remember the ferris wheel too. Wasn't this before we started dating? You looked so cute, with a pout on your lips as you gave a muffled scream and barrelled into my arms.

Pretty smooth move, Mao.

April 2nd, 1.28pm

Tsubaki,

It's been almost four months since I last saw you. I think I'm slowly starting to forget your face. I remember your crimson eyes, and your dark, dark hair. But... I'm forgetting.

You're just in denial, Mao. I know you can remember me very clearly, you're just trying to block me out. Please Mao, please don't leave me behind.

April 3rd, 5.57pm

Tsubaki,

Sakuya took me out on a date. He made me feel special... though not as special as you made me feel.

Please come back.

Let me go... talk to Sakuya for a bit.

April 4th, 4.28pm

Tsubaki,

I tried making a joke today. All I got was a faceful of sandwich from Belkia. Oh well, you know I'm never one to joke around.

Remember that time when I tried making a knock knock joke at the carnival? You actually flinched at my bad delivery.

Please come back so I can terrorise you again.

I'd personally shove a sandwich in your face too, if you made a joke. Neko-chan, maybe research some riddles or something on Google and work on your delivery! *thumbs up*

April 10th, 12.01am

Tsubaki,

I'm bored.

Well, here are a couple of jokes.

1. Two antennas met on a rooftop and fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was good.

2. Two peanuts walked into a bar, and one was a salted. (Get it? :D)

3. There was a person who sent twenty different puns to all his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did!

4. Your life.

HAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHA I made that last one up as well hahaha...

...I'm bored too.

April 13th, 1.29am

Tsubaki,

I think I'm slowly growing colder. Sakuya and I don't talk as much anymore, and I think I made Belkia cry once.

Gomen, but I feel blank now.

Mao, remember, you're not the only one sad. You're being selfish, and I know you're not usually like this, but you need to remember that others are feeling the same way too.

Oh, and don't worry about getting colder. Soon, I'll be here to warm you up ;) If you're feeling blank, once I come back, I'm going to paint you in so many colours.

April 20th, 2.48am

Tsubaki,

Nobody talks to me anymore. Shamrock, Sakuya, Belkia, Higan, Otogiri. None of them has held a conversation with me for more than ten seconds recently.

I don't want anyone but you. I'm cold, Tsubaki. I think I've lost my emotions now. My fingers and feet are turning blue. I can't find the motivation to pull the blanket over me.

Can't you just be with me right now?

When I'm back, I'll make you lie down and treat you with hot chocolate or hot coffee, and I'll massage your feet until you fall asleep. I will then cuddle next to you, so you don't even need a blanket to keep you warm, and I'd make you breakfast in bed the next morning so you can have as many lazy days as you want. While you're eating, I will go out and buy you heaps of chocolate and junk food and huge teddy bears and balloons. Then we'd binge watch Netflix all day while stuffing our faces and have pillow fights and food fights while blasting music that we both enjoy.

Please wait... I promise I will do this with you, as many times and as often as you want.

May 1st, 8.53pm

Tsubaki,

I didn't think I can feel emotions anymore, but I had a breakdown during work today. I couldn't stop crying. Tsubaki, can't you come back and heal me again?

Mao, I know you'll get past this. Even though you can't see me, I'm still here for you.

May 2nd, 6.38pm

Tsubaki,

I thought I was an independent woman. Obviously not. You leaving me caused so much pain. I think I'm beginning to doubt any reason to live. Why am I so in love with you?

Don't think that way, you have so much to live for. I'm coming back for you Mao, one day.

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sorry for super late update! I was away overseas and wattpad was completely blocked by the government :(