Kill First, Feel Last ; Daryl Dixon

ten;; fear

My eyes dripped with tears. My walls, the walls that held me up, made me strong just... collapsed.  Moment by moment, they fell. Salty drops fell from my chin, drenching my shirt. Perhaps those tears would help wash the blood out. I pressed my head against the wall...  I was trembling. I couldn't stop. Even as I pressed my hand against the wall it shook, it trembled. It was raw, everything, raw tears, raw emotions. I couldn't stop... I couldn't stop. Why couldn't I stop crying?

It wasn't only the thought of the way we lived, how limited our lives were; or how insanely cruel and diabolic my father had become but it was also the thought of losing someone I had just come to terms with the feelings I had for them. Daryl made me feel whole, regardless of the time we had known each other; I couldn't escape the feelings I had for him or how he made me feel.

2 weeks... 2 weeks is all it took for me to fall in love with a man. I was completely helpless from the effects he sent me.

The wine oozed down my throat like a waterfall, sending a buzz straight to my brain. My vision was blurry, like I was concussed- but so much better.

A knock at my door knocked me clean out of my thoughts.
"What?" I snapped. The door creaked open, revealing a concerned Dwight at the doorway.
"You okay?" He asked.

I laughed. "No." I took another large gulp out of the bottle, chugging the liquid down before Dwight snatched it clean out of my hands.
"Don't be ridiculous, Kaylie." He poured the liquid down the sink.
"You want to know what's ridiculous?" I slurred. "That I can't be with the man I want to be with. That you can't be with your very own wife! Why? All because of my pathetic excuse of a father."
"Bed." He raised his eyebrow. "Now."

Suddenly a feeling of exhaustion overwhelmed me, so I obliged. If it weren't for the alcohol, I'd have given one heck of a fight. "Fine." I mumbled.

"This bed-- this bed is super comfortable." I stretched out, as wide as I could earning a chuckle from Dwight.

"We need to talk tomorrow, Kaylie." He sighed, leaning on the door frame.
"What about?" I asked, my eyes closed.
"Never mind." He shook his head. "It can wait."
"No!" I moaned. "Don't leave me hanging, Dwight!"

"Fine.." He moaned. "You better remember this.."
"Cross my heart-- (hiccup) and hope to die." I giggled.
"Okay.." He scratched his head nervously. I instantly relinquished any feeling of the alcohol buzz, suddenly focused on Dwight. I knew it was bad news.
"Dwight.." I growled, standing up from my bed.
"Negan... Your dad-- he said---"
"Dwight!" I yelled. "Fucking spit it out!"
"If Daryl doesn't submit to him tomorrow, he'll kill him." He said as fast as he could.

Fuck. My heart fell down to the pit of my stomach, shattering into one thousand pieces. He was going to kill him, if Daryl doesn't call himself 'Negan' and I've ordered him not to surrender. If Daryl dies, it'll be on me and I couldn't possibly lose another person.
We were doing this now.

"Dwight.." I growled, while grabbing my gun stash, my knives and the duffle bag I had prepared containing; water, clothes, sanitary items and a few cans of food. "Go get Sherry, right now. Run to Alexandria, and tell Rick to prepare."

"Kaylie." He panicked. "We aren't ready."
"Now! Dwight!" I yelled. He nodded his head, but I pulled him back.
"Daryl's vest and crossbow please." I growled.

He peeled off the vest and handed me his crossbow, and arrows before wishing me good luck.
He ran down the hall, entering Sherry's room before I turned to go to Daryl's cell. I put the keys in the hole, turning it slightly and opening the door which revealed a sleeping Daryl.

"Daryl." I whisper-yelled. "Get the fuck up now!" I shut the door behind me.
He jolted, waking up and looked at me. "What do ye' want? Leave me alone."

I threw his vest at him, earning a shocked glance from him. He looked at me with confusion and as I handed him his crossbow, he rose to his feet; complete and utter shock evident on his perfect face.

"Why?" He asked, taking them from me.
"We're getting out of here." I mumbled, waiting for him to change.
"Why?!"
"Stop asking question's, Daryl!" I snapped. "Just trust me!"
"Trust ye'?!" He turned around to face me. "How can I trust ye' when you've been fuckin' blondie!?"
"I haven't been fucking him, Daryl!" I growled, approaching him slowly. "It was a plan, Dwight and I had so we could get you the fuck out of here!"
"A plan?" He asked.
"A fucking plan!" I whispered again. "We planned to be a 'couple' so my dad could trust us in order for us to go on a run together. We'd wait for everyone to be sleeping, come back in; sneak you and sherry out and get you back to Alexandria!"
"That's what you and Rick met about?" He questioned as he buttoned up his vest.
"Wasn't supposed to be for 2 weeks." I mumbled. "I'll explain more later, just get ready."

He nodded his head, retained his crossbow and followed me out the door.
We snuck through the corridor, avoiding any of my dad's men we came across. We eventually made our way to the courtyard, approaching a set of large pillars, dividing the gate and the building.

"We need to get out of here." I half whispered as I watched his crystal blue eyes bore into mine.
"We ain't goin' no where, Kaylie." He said. "You ain't going to die cause' of me."

A gun shot erupted, instantly shocking us both. I readied my gun and Daryl prepared his crossbow. "Daryl." I said, glancing at him through my peripheral vision. "Kill First, Feel Later."

I began to creep forward, but was instantly pulled back to the spot I was in by Daryl's firm hands.
"Kaylie." He sighed. "This is stupid."
"Maybe it is, Daryl." I shrugged, carelessly. "But for you..." I looked at him. "It's worth it."

His crystal clear eyes never left mine, his iris' jolting two and from one eye to another. I was stuck, I couldn't seem to move, no matter how hard I tried.
"Fuck this." He mumbled before quickly pressing his lips onto mine. The kiss was soft, yet filled with complete passion.
When he pulled away, I ached for more. When I got him out of here, I was going to get more.

"If we don't make it out of here, Daryl.." I sighed. "I want you to know---"
"I love ye'." He cut me off. "Goddamn it woman, I love ya."

I stared at him for what seemed like hours, when another gunshot erupted, preparing us in out war stances again.
"For what it's worth." I whispered. "I love you too."

I felt a pinch on my side, Daryl's way of acknowledgement.
Let's do this.