Kill First, Feel Last ; Daryl Dixon

nine ;; beginning the pact.

His lips left mine as we both reached our peak. Panting, and sweating our foreheads connected like glue while we stared into one and another's eyes.
"You've really got a knack for this, Daryl Dixon." I smirked, pecking him on the lips one more time.
I went to retrieve my clothes, only to be pulled back by my wrist, and back against the wall I was against. His lips met mine once again, passionately and tenderly.

"Well." He smirked. "Better make the best of my abilities hey?"
"You know it." I winked before going to retrieve my clothes once again.

"Ye' know.." He began as he wrapped his buff arms around my now covered torso. "Ye' never told me what went down with you and Rick the other night.."

"That doesn't matter." I slightly smiled, turning to face him. "All that matters is that he knows that you're safe, and that it ain't so bad.." I smirked, waiting for his facial change.

Boy, if I had a camera I would capture the look on his face, and pin it to my wall. It was priceless.
"He told ye' what it meant?" He blushed.
"Yeah." I nodded, smiling. "Now come on. I need a cigarette." I smirked, turning around and walking out the door.

The walk to the courtyard was silent, like he was embarrassed on the fact that I knew how he felt. I was touched, not embarrassed.

I sat down on my favourite lounge chair, handing Daryl a cigarette and lighting my own.

The nicotine makes me function. I know I used to be just fine without it, but now if I don't get that fix I'm a bag of nerves, all jittery and snappy. I had a biology teacher explain it to me once, she said it mimicked a natural transmitter in my nerves so everything got faster, that's the buzz. But then my body makes less of the natural one to adjust back to the right level. Then when you stop the nicotine you don't function right for a while. Science is all well and good but once you're addicted that's that.

I inhaled and exhaled with ease, like it were natural to me. I watch Daryl do the same. Just as he removed it from his pink lips, he blew the smoke in the air carefully as if it was the aftermath of a kiss. He stared at the cigarette between his fingers. It was almost short enough to burn him. With an effort, he leaned forward to crush it out.

"Kaylie!" Dwight's voice bellowed from across the courtyard. I turned to face the shout's direction, noticing him running as fast as his legs could carry him.
"You and Barbie on good terms now?" Daryl questioned.
"Something like that." I chuckled, turning to face a now panting Dwight.

"Negan---He-- I-- Told him-- now--" He gasped for air.
"Hold up, Blondie." I chuckled. "Breath."
I heard Daryl chuckle from behind me as we watched Dwight regain his breath.

"I told Negan, and he's on his way." He finally said.
"Here!?" I gasped. "Shit." I looked over to the other side of the courtyard where Dwight ran from, and surely enough my dad was walking in our direction with Lucille in his hand.

"Fuck.." I mumbled, turning to Daryl. "Daryl, looking like you're working." I whispered. Daryl instantly nodded his head, sprinting off to the cage where the walkers roamed, pretending to work his ass off.

Dwight sat on my lounge chair. "Act normal." He panicked. "Like a normal couple."
"Calm your shit, doofus." I laughed. I sat on his knee, Dwight placing his hands on my hips.

I looked over in Daryl's direction, and surely enough his eyes looked like they were about to shoot out laser beams. Not only was he angry, but confusion was completely evident through his face.

"Kaylie, I heard the news!" My dad happily exclaimed. "Finally you two grew some balls and got together."
"Yep." I laughed. "It was unexpected, but It happened!"
"Good." He smirked. "Now, I might take Daryl away from you two, let you have some alone time."
"No." I disagreed. "It's okay, Dad."
He looked at me with confusion, before Dwight finally piped in.
"We haven't really gotten to that point of our relationship, sir."

"Dwight, don't be a pussy." He laughed, loudly. "I fucked your ex-wife the first night she got here!"

I felt Dwight tense from beneath me. "Dad." I sighed standing up. "I don't know what father encourages his daughter to have sex, but I'm sure it's not normal." I scoffed, retrieving my gun from the lounge chair. "I'm going to take Daryl to his cell. If you'll excuse me."

I bent down, planting a small peck onto his cheek; acting as well as I could before pulling Daryl aside and walking him back to the cell.

"What the fuck was that?!" Daryl snapped as we reached his cell. "You and him somethin' now?"
"No, Daryl.." I sighed. "It's not like that."
"Then what is it?" He scoffed. "After this morning, you go and do that? What? you fuckin' him too?"
"No." I growled.
"To think that I actually had feelins' for ya." He laughed bitterly. "Careless Bitch."

That stung. I wanted to badly to tell Daryl our plan and what was going ahead, but I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to do it, and no matter how much it pained to keep it from him, He'd try and convince me otherwise.

"Daryl." I sighed, tears forming in my eyes. My stomach numb and my heart aching.
"Leave." He scoffed.
"But--"
"I don't wanna' look at ye' right now."

I nodded my head, pressing back the tears that were beginning to form and slowly walked back to my room.

As I walked into my room, the pain I felt was unbearable. But it was the pain I felt that made me realise something.

I'm in love with him.

He never leaves my mind, he's always there; mentally if not physically. It's just incomprehensible. He's my one stable force, my one stability in a world filled with chaos and I so desperately need that in my life. I love him so much for that. I'm in love with him and I can't believe I've only just realised it.

This feeling is so strange; it stretches throughout my whole body. It's overwhelming, yet makes me feel complete. It has no bound nor length nor depth; it's just absolute. It feels as though I'm in a dangerous fire, yet I'm completely safe at the same time. It feels as though someone's given me peace. It feels as though my heart is dancing around my chest; and a hole, I was never aware was there, has been filled. I feel so light, like I'm on top of the world yet my heart is constricting and it feels as if there's no oxygen in my lungs.

It's strange – frightening even – how you can go from someone being a complete stranger, to then being completely infatuated by them and wondering how it ever was that you were able to live without them, because you sure as hell couldn't imagine being without them now. I know we're only young, and most people would consider me to be foolish and naïve, but it's true when I say that I love him more than I could ever love myself. He's my best friend and, as cheesy as it sounds, he's my anchor. My one stability in this world filled with chaos.

Dwight and I; we need to speed this up. We were getting out, and we were getting out soon.