Apparitions ( Graser10 & Stacyplays )

010

Z a c h a r y

    Stacy giggled as the lights twinkled in her eyes. Small strands of hair falling from her bun. Light blue glittery dress to glint and cast various specs of white to the floor. My hands where at her waist and hers where on my shoulders. She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen in the world.

    Leaning in, she planted a kiss on my lips before starting to spin us. All my thoughts focused on her warm touch and intertwined feet. I was careful not to crush her pointed shoes.

   The song ended and forced us off the dance floor. Annoucing the Junior dance next. All of the sophomore class groaned when we sat down. Doe eyes pulled me outside to the parking lot. Grabbing my hand and dashing through the rows of cars to my own. I was soundless and she was full of energy.

    I remember I couldn't hardly see the moon through the clouds. And it was the time where it was finally warm enough without a jacket. Although the lamps in the parking lot cast cold shadows across both our faces.

    Her shoes fell off and she climbed into my backseat, motioning me in with her wide grin. Both on our knees, my head barely made clearence. I wasn't at all concerned with this.

    She slid closer and wrapped her arms around my neck to draw our bodies together. Kissing me wildly, I smiled against her and let her go at it. My hands trembled as they snaked behind her back.

    "I love you." She caught her breath, catching me off guard.

    Eyes widened, I didn't know what else to say, "I love you too. I love you so much."

    Before falling ontop of her in the cramped area, her grin turned mischievous, "Good."

    Good memory 05

      "Where are you Zachary?" Dr. Allyiah broke off my grand illiousion before it got to the good part.

     "Those happy memories you told me about. They're actually pretty fun. " The shades on her window had 32 blinds on them.

    She smiled, "Great. Mind sharing?"

    Rolling my eyes, I imagined sixteen year old me and fifteen year old Stacy in the backseat again, "The first time I touched Stacy's boobs. Full on groped."

    Dr. Allyiah choked and grimaced, "That was highly inappropriate Mr. Graser."

    I threw up my hands, "Breasts. Is that better?"

    A big sigh came out of her, "Very funny. You seem to be in a terrific mood. Any causes?

     Except the obvious, I thought of an excuse, anything that didn't involve Stacy since I last went to therapy wasn't anything to write home about. Not even her presence made me joyful. It made me uneasy and unsure.

    "I saw my mom, pushed Bianca, talked to Will, and look, I said Stacy's name without nonexistent black figures mimicking vomit. Like, usually there's just puddles of dark goop pouring out of my mouth."

    She ignored my filler information, "Why do you think that is Zachary? What happens when you say her name that's a big trigger for you?"

    Just hearing it made the floor fall and hoisted me into a blank room. Flickering back between the dull blue wallpaper and the star ridden galaxy void I adored so deeply. Dr. Allyiah blipping through each strobe of change.

     "It's just different." I stated, making the hallucinations disappear into a thick black fog, "The shadows can't talk. Otherwise I'll tell you about why they think that a basic name is a nice way to torture me."

    "Do you miss her?" She questioned.

    The answer was unavoidable, and my surprise was overwhelming, she'd ask such a question, when she knew the answer to it's fullest, "Hell yeah. What kind of question is that?"

    Her chair spun just a bit, like she was amused, "Something from the last time you where here till now changed the way you handle that name. Tell me."

    Facade broken I stretched the truth, "Stacy came back. I could touch her, feel her, hear her voice. She reacted to me, she reacted with my cat. Will even. And then I woke up, and came here. She turned to dust and joined the shadows again."

    "Meer visions. Zachary, you have to take your pills. You can't keep this up. Your mother called, she's worried about you being all alone." She leaned over her clipboard.

    Suddenly I felt defensive, "I'm sorry, but being alone with my feelings helps. It's not like I'm alone 24/7.I have school, my dad comes once a week. The pills make me even more insane. And so does this therapy."

    She looked down, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for my words to affect you in this way."

    I scoffed and stood up, "I'd be better off telling the cat about my feelings than you. At least he doesn't talk back."

    Without any other words. I grabbed my coat and fled to my car, immediately coming in contact with wind. The heaters where my saviors as the car rattled to life. I'd go home, see Stacy, and dread going to school Monday.

    I'd have to pray to whoever brought her back to give me a snowday.